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30

well I'm back... not that anyone noticed me missing kek

submitted by HonkyMcNiggerSpic to TellUpgoat 1 yearApr 5, 2024 16:12:52 ago (+31/-1)     (TellUpgoat)

I survived a EF2 130+mph tornado. It tried to blow me away but you see I'm a bad MF and it didn't work. There's total destruction just 8 miles around me in all directions for miles and miles but my little plot was left undisturbed. I got a lot of hail and about 60mph winds and then it all turned into a GD snowy blizzard. Got lucky this time. I did fall down while I was grilling some cheeseboogers and got mud all over me but I didn't spill one drop of my beer and other than that I am tippity top shape. Pray for all those kilt and hurt and who lost everything because many did. There's nothing where houses and gas stations used to be. Although I have backup power and heat this area was without power and internet for 4 whole days (gasp).

I ended up having to work on a bunch of stuff. My generator quit in the middle of the night so I took it all apart and decided it needed a new spark plug. Of course I had bought an extra one long time ago just because. Then my propane wall mount, that I only use for backup, started acting weird and shutting off so I tore it into a million pieces and cleaned it. It fixed it! I'm cool like that. I do it all. Even my wife said "you're the man" at one point and I said I told you this day one within ten minutes of knowing me back 27 years ago, darling. lol Anyhoo, what all have the jews and nigs done since I been gone? Have I missed anything?

signed

a bad MF


59 comments block

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[ - ] paul_neri 0 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 21:56:20 ago (+1/-1)

Heavy scene dude.Glad you and family survived.But Putin will get you!

[ - ] prototype 0 points 1 yearApr 6, 2024 06:24:27 ago (+0/-0)

Keep in mind that propane loses pressure when it gets cold enough.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 1 point 1 yearApr 6, 2024 10:11:13 ago (+1/-0)

Yep. My stove will flutter a little when we get to about 15 degrees but it wasn't that cold this time. My stove was clean, however, the last time I did maintenance on it I forgot to clean the coupler and pilot tube and it bit me in the ass.

[ - ] clymer 1 point 1 yearApr 5, 2024 17:05:46 ago (+1/-0)

EF2 130+mph and I thought I had it rough dealing with 16 inches of heavy wet snow ..truth be told, it did suck because the ground here in NH is thawed soft like chocolate cake under the snow and I was trying to float my tractor plow which is mounted to the FEL up and down (on basically the side of a mountain) to avoid scraping the shit out of the grade, didn't work out too well. the terrain on my dirt road sucks. I'd rather deal with solid frozen earth and 10 below temps tbh

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 3 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 17:10:21 ago (+3/-0)

I know just what you mean with the plowing. At a certain point my driveway becomes gravel/dirt and its hard to not screw it up. We got hit with a heavy wet snow of about 9 inches right after the tornado, which is absolute bullshit. I'm leaving a complaint with mother natures manager.

[ - ] paul_neri 1 point 1 yearApr 5, 2024 22:29:00 ago (+1/-0)

"I'm leaving a complaint with mother natures manager.". Good luck with that!

"If you want a weather forecast for your area, press 1."
"If you wish to report a weather-risk, press 2."
"If you wish to ask about Climate Change, press 3.".
"Or, for something else, press 4 and one of our skilled operators will be with your shortly.".

[ - ] Clubberlang 0 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 22:07:19 ago (+1/-1)

We've had sun and sunsets here for a least 360 days so I feel your pain. We missed 5 days of sunsets.

[ - ] paul_neri 1 point 1 yearApr 5, 2024 22:30:34 ago (+1/-0)

Far out, man.Which piece of paradise do you live in?

[ - ] Clubberlang 2 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 23:03:50 ago (+2/-0)

Your phishing skills are as terrible as your cockbreath queeri.

[ - ] Ragnar 0 points 1 yearApr 6, 2024 00:28:09 ago (+0/-0)

lol he’s such a retard, but you pretty much described Florida

[ - ] Ragnar 0 points 1 yearApr 6, 2024 00:27:21 ago (+0/-0)

Florida

[ - ] paul_neri -1 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 22:16:36 ago (+0/-1)

NH "New Hampshire" [Library Service]

[ - ] Ragnar 0 points 1 yearApr 6, 2024 00:29:20 ago (+0/-0)

Update on the rope order!

[ - ] Peleg 1 point 1 yearApr 5, 2024 18:59:28 ago (+1/-0)

Thanks for the warning.

You lost your spot. Now you've got to get to the back of the line!

[ - ] Centaurus 1 point 1 yearApr 5, 2024 21:06:10 ago (+1/-0)

"Well, it's been nice missing you,"

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 1 point 1 yearApr 5, 2024 21:20:13 ago (+1/-0)

Reeee But I have a blinking polar bear badge!!!

[ - ] Centaurus 1 point 1 yearApr 5, 2024 21:06:53 ago (+1/-0)

It's kind of hard to miss you when you keep coming back.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 2 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 21:21:12 ago (+2/-0)

Maybe the next one will get me but I doubt it because I'm a bad MF

[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 1 yearApr 5, 2024 22:08:13 ago (+1/-0)

He has numerous alts

[ - ] paul_neri 1 point 1 yearApr 5, 2024 22:11:51 ago (+1/-0)

That was funny. You should consider posting jokes, comedy etc.

[ - ] Clubberlang 0 points 1 yearApr 7, 2024 22:55:03 ago (+0/-0)

I post your name all the time.

[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 1 yearApr 5, 2024 22:00:38 ago (+1/-0)

I didn't know you lived in Oklahoma.

I have backup power and heat this area was without power and internet for 4 whole days (gasp).

No internet?!?!?

How are you supposed to get your daily dose of clubbah style anti semitism?

[ - ] paul_neri 2 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 22:31:31 ago (+2/-0)

We'll forward it on for you.Just tell us where you live.

[ - ] Clubberlang 3 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 23:02:37 ago (+3/-0)

Just keep looking over your shoulders queeri.

And no not when your bent over faggot.

[ - ] bosunmoon 2 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 17:00:33 ago (+2/-0)

Fuck off we're full you low down nigger faggot.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 2 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 17:08:33 ago (+2/-0)

yeah yeah

[ - ] chump 2 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 17:39:00 ago (+2/-0)

My garbage disposal went out the other day, so I know what you’re talking about….

Seriously though, glad you’re ok.

[ - ] Cunt 2 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 19:46:24 ago (+2/-0)

That's incredible, my kids also saw their first tornado a few days ago, they're really rare here in Australia.


Not actual footage but for perspective it was similar to this:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=-EH647lirXA&pp=ygUKbGVhZiBkZXZpbA%3D%3D

Stay safe man.

[ - ] Smedleys_Butler 2 points 1 yearApr 6, 2024 01:06:53 ago (+2/-0)

If I die commuting to post earthquake Philly tomorrow to meet Theodore Kent, I didn't work on those bridge parts

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 3 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 17:54:19 ago (+3/-0)

It's always a good idea to run on your emergency stuff from time to time. Just to make sure it all works out and to be able to fix stuff ahead of time. Makes for a good/fun training opportunity for the family as well.

[ - ] bobdole9 4 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 18:39:53 ago (+4/-0)

Alright children, time for our monthly SHTF drills!

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 2 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 18:53:55 ago (+2/-0)

Hell yeah! Like hunting, camping, hiking, fishing, etc, important life skills learned while having fun!

[ - ] Peleg 1 point 1 yearApr 5, 2024 18:55:53 ago (+1/-0)

OH BOY! Can we have the lesson on cooking with a Dutch Oven?!!!

[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 1 yearApr 5, 2024 22:05:45 ago (+1/-0)

I'm sure your wife is well experienced in Dutch ovens.

[ - ] paul_neri 1 point 1 yearApr 5, 2024 22:10:49 ago (+1/-0)

Sound advice. Remember the Iran US Embassy siege and the US naval helicopters that broke down because of salt damage or something i.e. not maintained well enough?

Oh! Sorry I didn't mean to offend you. Yeah a long time ago.

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 0 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 23:03:24 ago (+0/-0)

the US naval helicopters that broke down because of salt damage or something i.e. not maintained well enough?

That's exactly it. Embassy positions are likely predisposed to fill up with bullshit make-work designed to make the politicians and upper command look good. As such, it will tend to fill with workers who brown-nose more than they do actual work. Which leads to poorly maintained escape vehicles.

I've seen entire commands collapse into uselessness from this sort of shit.

[ - ] Gowithit 4 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 16:52:09 ago (+4/-0)

It's always the damn spark plugs. Glad you were able to fix it Mr. Bad mf!

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 3 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 16:54:27 ago (+3/-0)

Thanks. I also pulled the fuel line off and some goop came out so it might've been some of that too but this plug is old as shit. When I walked into my outbuilding and looked in the area I keep plugs I saw one in a pack and just smiled because I know me. I went to town today and bought a new one and put it right back! haha

[ - ] Gowithit 0 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 16:58:05 ago (+0/-0)

I pulled the cord out once starting it ngl I cried. Fortunately it was able to be rewound and all was good again. Fucking generators but you got to love them.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 2 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 17:02:25 ago (+2/-0)

Funny you should mention that. This one has been broken before and its sketchy cranking it. You have to pull the cord tight THEN pull it. Glad you worked it out. I'm too tight to buy a new gen and will run this one til there's nothing left of it lol

[ - ] big_fat_dangus 4 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 17:25:12 ago (+4/-0)

I'll never understand why people choose to live in tornado zones or flood plains. Congrats on surviving your bad decision, I suppose.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 2 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 17:28:26 ago (+2/-0)

I don't live in a flood or tornado zone. This was a rare, wicked storm that came through.

[ - ] paul_neri 2 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 22:14:34 ago (+2/-0)

You mean like NYC:

"On Friday, April 5, a 4.8 magnitude earthquake shook the boroughs, shocking and rocking New Yorkers. The tremor occurred near Whitehouse Station, New Jersey, about 40 miles west of New York City, around 10:20 am, according to the U.S. Geological Survey.".

[ - ] UncleDoug 0 points 1 yearApr 6, 2024 03:38:36 ago (+0/-0)

KEK

[ - ] Sector2 4 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 19:47:12 ago (+4/-0)

Wind blew my potted pineapple sage plant over today. Hanging in there though. Glad you survived.

[ - ] boekanier 1 point 1 yearApr 6, 2024 01:01:01 ago (+1/-0)

well, that's the essential bit of the story: the man survived

[ - ] FreeinTX 6 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 16:32:00 ago (+6/-0)

Joe came out as a trans woman cop working for the pro-Israel lobby.

[ - ] lord_nougat 4 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 16:40:28 ago (+4/-0)

Again?

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 5 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 16:49:40 ago (+5/-0)

kek again.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 8 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 16:39:39 ago (+8/-0)

Welcome back, nigga. Been softer than baby shit around here, you didn't miss much. Consprijeet lost custody of AskUpgoat and Joe came out as a trans woman cop working for the pro-isreal lobby.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 4 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 16:48:59 ago (+4/-0)

Thanks, my friend. Did System strip it from him? oh man, I bet that hurt. Not surprised Joe finally came out. I always suspected, like ost here, that he was a fed or a jewish demoralizing agent of israel.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 8 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 16:56:45 ago (+8/-0)

Yep, system took that shit away. Solid move, given he bans anyone that hurts his feelings.

I'm happy for Joe, and I wish him the best of luck with his future suicide.

[ - ] big_fat_dangus 8 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 17:25:50 ago (+8/-0)

Everyone point and laugh at @conspirologist !

[ - ] JudyStroyer 7 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 17:38:31 ago (+7/-0)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA——> @cosplayajeet ( @conspirologist )

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 6 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 16:59:58 ago (+6/-0)

Good. That reddit mod shit should never be tolerated. I'm proud of system for doing as well as he has here. I just wish he would do some of the cool programming shit that poal did.

as far as joe, fuck him. I hope his new rot pocket stinks more than the usual ones.

[ - ] TheYiddler 0 points 1 yearApr 6, 2024 08:20:08 ago (+0/-0)

It's dumb to ban for silly shit but what's stopping you from making your own subs? Conspiratologist as least posts stuff so this place is less dead and it's sometimes interesting. Don't just shit talk him. Be a better example.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic [op] 1 point 1 yearApr 6, 2024 11:04:28 ago (+1/-0)

I agree. I love silly shit and shit posting. My problem is banning someone from a sub that is kind of a backbone sub for the website. If it were 'ask conspirologist' then fine, ban whomever ya want. I used to love getting banned from SBBH.

[ - ] Clubberlang 0 points 1 yearApr 5, 2024 22:03:31 ago (+0/-0)

Don't worry frontholerespecter is here to spread the werdz of the yid.

[ - ] Ragnar 0 points 1 yearApr 6, 2024 00:24:20 ago (+0/-0)

I totally missed all this. Link me to the paedo’s coming out party?