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6

Bread is retarded

submitted by Gowithit to Rants 1 monthMar 3, 2024 21:21:22 ago (+6/-0)     (Rants)

Just give me the plain what I fucking need. holy shit all I heard at first was red/white soft/ hard grain berries. fantastic lets do that. Now it's spelt? Kamut? Fine. I didn't want 20 fucking buckets of berries of all variations but guess if thats the way it has to be then I'll do that. Im starting to feel as if I got suckered into some big seed scam. Where does it end? The flour community is full of long winded gatekeepers and all I want is simple to the point and it's impossible. Mainly I'm just pissed that my hamburger buns didn't rise the way they should have and fell flat.


38 comments block

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[ - ] SumerBreeze 5 points 1 monthMar 3, 2024 22:04:39 ago (+5/-0)

That thing with walnuts and berries and whatnot because its “healthy” - I can scoop a handful of my nutmix and eat that along with my bread without paying 50 dollars for a couple loaves of “craft artisan” bread!

[ - ] KosherHiveKicker 4 points 1 monthMar 3, 2024 23:23:32 ago (+4/-0)*

Townsends - Making Bread With No Yeast In Early America - 18th Century Cooking

I've been checking out this guy's channel for 1800's recipes for Pemmican, and Hardtack (survival foods that require no refrigeration)

- Food That Time Forgot: Pemmican, The Ultimate Survival Food
- Food That Time Forgot: Ships Biscuits

Knowing how they used to cook pre-18th Century might come in handy in the next few years.

[ - ] Ragnar 1 point 1 monthMar 4, 2024 00:14:27 ago (+1/-0)

Pemmican tastes yucky, I heard

[ - ] KosherHiveKicker 1 point 1 monthMar 4, 2024 09:38:25 ago (+1/-0)

You don't have to eat it plain.

You can rehydrate it, and use it in cooking recipes like stews, meat pies, and chilli.

[ - ] Ragnar 1 point 1 monthMar 4, 2024 09:39:44 ago (+1/-0)

That’s a lot of effort for a “survival” food

[ - ] KosherHiveKicker 1 point 1 monthMar 4, 2024 09:43:41 ago (+1/-0)

You can eat it plain = zero effort.

10 lbs. of Pemmican can keep 1 person eating normally for 1 month. It can be extended to 2 months with rationing.

[ - ] Niggly_Puff 1 point 1 monthMar 4, 2024 16:55:50 ago (+1/-0)

Pemmican looks yummy.

[ - ] gardella 4 points 1 monthMar 3, 2024 22:32:49 ago (+5/-1)

give me a good sourdough roll.

[ - ] Gowithit [op] 3 points 1 monthMar 3, 2024 22:39:58 ago (+3/-0)

Bwhaha just plunge the knife in further with the sprouted or unsprouted argument why don't you?

[ - ] paul_neri 0 points 1 monthMar 3, 2024 22:41:07 ago (+0/-0)

or a roll in the hay!

[ - ] Gowithit [op] 3 points 1 monthMar 3, 2024 22:54:03 ago (+3/-0)

You'd never have a good roll in the hay or otherwise because.. vegan.

[ - ] Lost_In_The_Thinking 1 point 1 monthMar 3, 2024 23:04:59 ago (+1/-0)

What? Neri, are you vegan? Oh, c'mon man. Are you really?

[ - ] Ragnar 4 points 1 monthMar 4, 2024 00:11:51 ago (+4/-0)

How are you surprised? His cuck personality is only possible because of veganism

[ - ] inaminit 1 point 1 monthMar 3, 2024 23:29:43 ago (+1/-0)

not just vegan, I heard...

[ - ] paul_neri 0 points 1 monthMar 4, 2024 04:22:18 ago (+0/-0)

...and what else did you heard?

[ - ] paul_neri -1 points 1 monthMar 4, 2024 04:21:32 ago (+0/-1)

Yes and I ain't ashamed of it. Quite the contrary.

[ - ] Anus_Expander 1 point 1 monthMar 3, 2024 23:09:47 ago (+1/-0)

roll your faggy scooter into traffic, Queeri

[ - ] paul_neri 0 points 1 monthMar 3, 2024 23:10:35 ago (+0/-0)

no, you (roll your own scooter)!

[ - ] observation1 2 points 1 monthMar 4, 2024 01:11:48 ago (+2/-0)

My bakery stopped making milk free, egg free, soy free, sourdough. so fuck them and fuck glutonous simple carbs anyway.

4 ingredients max or nothing

[ - ] Stonkmar 1 point 1 monthMar 4, 2024 10:04:32 ago (+1/-0)

I've been doing the sprouted grains bread. At least it's flourless.

[ - ] inaminit 1 point 1 monthMar 3, 2024 23:28:36 ago (+1/-0)

All commercially produced grains are contaminated with glyphosate (and God only knows what else)... Eat bread at your own risk unless you bake your own with organic flour.

[ - ] Gowithit [op] 0 points 1 monthMar 3, 2024 23:53:58 ago (+1/-1)

So spend the extra 2 dollars and get the palouse brand next time.👍They "say" no glysophates. No mention about the god only know what elses though. Sus.

[ - ] observation1 0 points 1 monthMar 4, 2024 01:14:08 ago (+0/-0)

Palouse what is that

[ - ] Gowithit [op] 1 point 1 monthMar 4, 2024 08:12:40 ago (+1/-0)

Another place to buy wheat berries from.

[ - ] inaminit 0 points 1 monthMar 4, 2024 10:10:28 ago (+0/-0)

[ - ] Gowithit [op] 0 points 1 monthMar 4, 2024 10:21:12 ago (+0/-0)

Pre ground? Pass.

[ - ] Gowithit [op] 0 points 3 weeksApr 8, 2024 22:13:51 ago (+0/-0)

update. Thank you. I still dont know much about the glysophate thing but i bought the palouse brand and you know what the soft white berries from them hands down (imo) way better than the ones from central milling.

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 0 points 1 monthMar 4, 2024 04:11:39 ago (+0/-0)

You used old stale dead yeast, or you didn't proof it properly.

[ - ] Gowithit [op] 0 points 1 monthMar 4, 2024 08:11:59 ago (+0/-0)

Yes I did.

[ - ] Ragnar 0 points 1 monthMar 4, 2024 00:10:32 ago (+1/-1)

You are so retarded. Your rants are stupid.
Kamut and spelt are ancient grains, not “now new things”.
They are not gmo or “reinforced” with poison.

Anyway, you won’t even have this problem if you could just make bread at home like a normal woman. But alas, mexicans don’t make bread

[ - ] Gowithit [op] 2 points 1 monthMar 4, 2024 00:22:29 ago (+2/-0)

fucking hell if its not written in nursery rhymes you cant understand for shit can you?

I know they are not new fucktard I'm talking about the introduction to them only after I had to look up "why did my bread not rise" "Why are my noodles falling apart". Then and only then were those other two mentioned. Spelt apparently is better for breads that need rising. Would have been a nice thing to know before I started but its fine. Lesson learned.

Tortillas came out fine. Soft white for that one.

[ - ] Ragnar 1 point 1 monthMar 4, 2024 00:29:30 ago (+1/-0)

Blah blah you are upset because you don’t know shit

Tortilla is not real bread. Try again later

[ - ] Gowithit [op] 1 point 1 monthMar 4, 2024 00:32:55 ago (+1/-0)

I'll just wait until your dad gets here. I know how to get a decent rise out of him every time.

[ - ] TheYiddler 0 points 1 monthMar 4, 2024 06:32:32 ago (+0/-0)

I've never seen a fluffer advertise himself like that before.

[ - ] Ragnar 0 points 1 monthMar 4, 2024 09:34:37 ago (+0/-0)

Are all mexicans this crass?

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 0 points 1 monthMar 3, 2024 23:03:58 ago (+0/-0)

Never waste time baking anything, especially bread. Find an awesome bakery and go about more important things.

[ - ] Gowithit [op] 3 points 1 monthMar 3, 2024 23:19:59 ago (+3/-0)

Oh, you poor trusting man. Don't you know what's coming down the line? I'd rather eat my shit looking bread than the bugs that will be in your (or your bakers) flour.

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 0 points 1 monthMar 3, 2024 23:34:47 ago (+0/-0)

I don’t really need bread, but ok.