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My smoke detector's battery just died.

submitted by Hall_of_Cost to TellUpgoat 3 monthsFeb 7, 2024 20:16:13 ago (+8/-1)     (TellUpgoat)

It started chirping. It is so loud and annoying. How do the niggers just sit there through that? Mine chirped maybe three times before I found a replacement battery and it's quiet again. Thanks for reading, have a good'n!


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[ - ] 2Drunk 9 points 3 monthsFeb 7, 2024 23:00:41 ago (+9/-0)

Smoke detectors contain a small radioactive isotope, the battery is what makes the chirp. If you eat the radioactive isotope you can gain superpowers.

[ - ] MuricaPersonified 1 point 3 monthsFeb 8, 2024 07:50:56 ago (+1/-0)

[ - ] VitaminSieg 0 points 3 monthsFeb 8, 2024 13:04:01 ago (+0/-0)

Sure it's not meth?

[ - ] MuricaPersonified 1 point 3 monthsFeb 8, 2024 13:13:02 ago (+1/-0)

It's all in jest. Drug abuse was the primary factor in his death. Can't totally rule out the long term effects of fucking around with radioactive elements, though. Those sores were on the extreme side, even for heavy meth users.

[ - ] Nasturtium 4 points 3 monthsFeb 8, 2024 00:02:06 ago (+4/-0)

Beep you're out! You are welcome!

[ - ] DeusExMachina 3 points 3 monthsFeb 7, 2024 23:32:13 ago (+3/-0)

This is referred to as the giganigga paradox in cultured circles. The gnP if you will.

1) become cognizant of the chirp
2) recognize that there might be some purpose to chirp
3) somehow grasp that the chirp has implications both temporal and physical
4) while at the same time remaining incapable of doing anything about it because amazon just tries to sell you belly dancing records when you search for the solution which is obviously "badree"
5) it just do be what it is in a rayciss ol worl

[ - ] TomMacdonald 2 points 3 monthsFeb 7, 2024 21:54:58 ago (+2/-0)

The smoke detector in the living room is probably 13-14 feet up. Maintenance won't let us do it so I just don't hang out there. I've told the beaners to fix it twice but they no hablo

[ - ] Jimmycrackerson 4 points 3 monthsFeb 8, 2024 00:15:55 ago (+4/-0)

Just do it yourself anyways. Get a big table. Stack the coffee table on that. Put a chair on that. Put a 5 gallon bucket on that. And use cinder blocks the rest of the way until you can reach.

Or just use a ladder if you're a fuddy duddy.

[ - ] xmasskull 2 points 3 monthsFeb 8, 2024 00:55:10 ago (+2/-0)

Ladder? How boring!

[ - ] Anus_Expander 0 points 3 monthsFeb 8, 2024 07:16:03 ago (+0/-0)

5 gallon paint buckets have gotten thinner and thinner over the past few years, even a new one might collapse under a man's weight

[ - ] Jimmycrackerson 1 point 3 monthsFeb 8, 2024 16:35:30 ago (+1/-0)

Yeah, I don't doubt that. Anything to save 1/10 of a sheckel per bucket produced.

[ - ] Anus_Expander 1 point 3 monthsFeb 8, 2024 07:14:40 ago (+1/-0)

what is a smoke detector?

[ - ] Peleg 0 points 3 monthsFeb 8, 2024 12:56:32 ago (+0/-0)

Would you, by chance, be a nigger?

[ - ] Anus_Expander 1 point 3 monthsFeb 8, 2024 12:59:09 ago (+1/-0)

We are all niggers here, in our own unique way

[ - ] carnold03 0 points 3 monthsFeb 9, 2024 06:39:57 ago (+0/-0)

I thought it was the carbon monoxide detectors that confused them.