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I swear to God my wife buys the strangest shit

submitted by PeckerwoodPerry to whatever 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:01:44 ago (+26/-0)     (files.catbox.moe)

https://files.catbox.moe/5s52ro.jpg

Looking for coconut milk to make lentil soup and I come across this. Didn't even know we had it. Fuck am I supposed to do with canned bread? Also, why does canned bread even exist? This bothers me more than it should.


67 comments block

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[ - ] Gowithit 5 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:38:38 ago (+5/-0)

Tape a slice of potato around your nail like overnight and then in the moring rub it with coconut oil. Repeat until gone.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 5 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:57:39 ago (+5/-0)

Ah, it'll grow out eventually.

[ - ] Sector2 4 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 21:19:43 ago (+4/-0)

This is the chance to test the theory after you've already hit your thumbnail. If you wait til later, you'll have to give it a good whack again...

[ - ] bobdole9 8 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 21:25:07 ago (+8/-0)

Proper scientist.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 2 points 2 monthsJan 28, 2024 01:27:48 ago (+2/-0)

Oh yeah, like this is my first rodeo.

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens 2 points 2 monthsJan 28, 2024 01:27:02 ago (+2/-0)

I had the same shit. Took 4 months to grow out. Almost ruined my hand modeling career.

[ - ] MaryXmas 1 point 2 monthsJan 28, 2024 08:37:06 ago (+1/-0)

Do you model for oil rig or prison catalogs?

[ - ] Peleg 0 points 2 monthsJan 28, 2024 07:35:46 ago (+0/-0)

You said curse words when that happened, didn't you!?
I know every time I do that I Have to follow it closely with curse words!

[ - ] Sector2 4 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:53:38 ago (+4/-0)

The potato or the nail?

[ - ] Gowithit 4 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:59:17 ago (+4/-0)

.....

😄

1. Peel a slice of potato

2. Wrap around finger

3. secure with something

4. Remove potato slice from finger in morning

5. Rub NAIL with coconut oil

6. Repeat process until blood blister is gone






[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 2 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 21:02:17 ago (+2/-0)

Would coconut butter work? I've got a jar of that on my nightstand.

[ - ] Gowithit 1 point 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 21:05:33 ago (+1/-0)

I don't know. Never tried it with butter.

[ - ] Anus_Expander 3 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 22:15:35 ago (+3/-0)

is that some kinda PR voodoo shit?

[ - ] Sector2 1 point 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 21:02:51 ago (+1/-0)

Ages since I last smashed my thumb with the 32 ouncer, but you're saying that removes the blood blister/scab from under the nail?

[ - ] Gowithit 1 point 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 21:15:16 ago (+1/-0)

Worked for an 11 year old.

Everytime I saw him I thought it was old nail polish so I eventually asked him if he needed nail polish remover to clean it off and why was he painting his nails anyways and then the poor thing looked so confused and said it wasn't nail polish it was a blood blister. I didnt even know what that was so I called my sister and she told me to do that. I think she also said you could use castor oil but I didnt have any.

I didnt have access to him 24/7 but everyday i would just wrap it for a few hours and then put coconut oil and it started to fade out. If he would have kept it on overnight I bet it would have worked faster.

[ - ] White_Pride_Cis 1 point 2 monthsJan 28, 2024 07:40:56 ago (+1/-0)

Buddy, let me give you a tip. Never say “I didnt have access to him 24/7” again. I don’t care the circumstances or the context. People will start confusing you with Blumen4Kids

[ - ] Anus_Expander 0 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 22:20:58 ago (+0/-0)

My peen is a tad chafed, would this method give me some relief?

[ - ] MaryXmas 1 point 2 monthsJan 28, 2024 08:40:56 ago (+1/-0)

The oil is meant to go on your finger. Pre-emptively putting it on a ball peen hammer will not work. But those are smaller so you should not worry so much.

[ - ] Gowithit 0 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 22:27:24 ago (+0/-0)

Aloe vera! Not the shit from the store. Itll burn. But get the leaf, strip it and put the aloe "meat" in the blender. put it in a container, store in the fridge and apply as needed.

[ - ] Anus_Expander 2 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 22:31:01 ago (+2/-0)

When I lived in Hawaii I grew av right outside my door for this very reason

[ - ] Gowithit 1 point 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 22:34:44 ago (+1/-0)

I miss my plants. Had two dinosaur sized ones. I tried growing over here and no dice. The cold weather knocked them out.

[ - ] Ragnar 0 points 3 monthsJan 28, 2024 00:00:44 ago (+0/-0)

Go back to the putrid hot as satan’s hellhole where you belong

[ - ] Gowithit 1 point 3 monthsJan 28, 2024 00:05:23 ago (+1/-0)

70-80's is satans hellhole?

Ah fat. Got it.

[ - ] Ragnar 0 points 3 monthsJan 28, 2024 00:09:03 ago (+0/-0)

You are the one complaining about our beautiful weather. You don’t belong here

[ - ] Ragnar 0 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 23:52:50 ago (+0/-0)

Keep your mexican recipes for your battered fingers

[ - ] DukeofRaul 0 points 3 monthsJan 28, 2024 01:02:10 ago (+0/-0)

I thought that was onions for a hornet?

[ - ] Her0n 3 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 21:37:28 ago (+3/-0)

Alternatively you can heat a needle red hot and gently drill into the blood blister until you breach it.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 2 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 23:29:08 ago (+2/-0)

In the past, when it's been on my left hand, I've used a really small drill bit to get the job done. I'm right handed so I tried to get my wife's help, but she's clumsy as fuck and probably just made it worse. It's really not a big deal. I'll grow out of it. It's just a little ugly, but the only people I want to impress I already have.

[ - ] Gowithit 1 point 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 21:38:29 ago (+1/-0)

Saving. Sounds quicker.

Were there any other steps?

[ - ] Her0n 4 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 21:43:04 ago (+4/-0)

No, bandage it if you'd like.

Sometimes the nail falls off.

I'd try your method first, less invasive.

[ - ] Peleg 0 points 2 monthsJan 28, 2024 07:43:48 ago (+0/-0)

A small drill bit or a needle relieves the pressure built up under the nail. If you have a real bad one drill that sucker until the blood comes out.
Such relief!

[ - ] AtomicForeskin 2 points 3 monthsJan 28, 2024 00:07:48 ago (+2/-0)

And then paint them with your favorite color and be a pretty lady

[ - ] iSnark 1 point 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 21:22:14 ago (+1/-0)

Seems like "cut the head off a chicken, and drink the blood" should be part of that formula.

[ - ] Gowithit -1 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 21:37:34 ago (+0/-1)

I thought she was nuts for the eggs to lower a fever too but it worked. Then there was something about onions in your socks when you're sick that I havent tried yet. Although I tell you what I was sick yesterday like ugh i'm dead kind of sick and bushchuck started playing Primus and I dont what happened but it all cleared up and i had energy. Fuck Fauci and play Primus.

[ - ] bosunmoon 4 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:09:15 ago (+4/-0)

That stuff is rad as fuck. pierce the can heat it in the oven and put butter on it. If you're smart you'll put some cream cheese on too.
Or you're a nigger.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 3 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:27:10 ago (+3/-0)

Really? I think you're taking me for a ride here, chief. Fuckin canned bread.

[ - ] bosunmoon 3 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:48:30 ago (+3/-0)

It's a camping staple at my house. you remove both ends of the can and push it through. slice off little half inch thick rounds.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 1 point 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 21:00:25 ago (+1/-0)

Ok, based on the comments y'all ain't fuckin with me. I'll try it. Not tonight, eating lentils tonight. I will try it though. Maybe I'm the retard.

[ - ] bobdole9 2 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 21:33:05 ago (+2/-0)

There's a difference between retardation and ignorance.

I too am in camp "wtf is canned bread".

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 2 points 2 monthsJan 28, 2024 02:06:36 ago (+2/-0)

It's fuckin strange, right?

[ - ] Indoctrinated_USA 2 points 2 monthsJan 28, 2024 03:17:15 ago (+2/-0)

Think of it as long terms stores, survival food, or camp food.
It's not ideal when in times of plenty but in situations where resources or space are limited - it's a treat that you could not otherwise have had.
I've never had the raisin variety, but I've got a case of this shit in my dry stores, then again I've got about 12 months of food onhand should supply chains become an issue.

[ - ] DukeofRaul 0 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:28:57 ago (+0/-0)

You can melt it an make ink for your wifes stick and poke tattoos

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 4 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:33:28 ago (+4/-0)

True story, I passed out at a party one time and woke up to some chick poking my ankle with a needle wrapped in thread, soaked with Indian ink. Still got those three dots to this day, and it's the only time I ever punched a chick in the face.

[ - ] DukeofRaul 4 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:09:14 ago (+4/-0)

Your wife buys me strange stuff too

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 5 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:15:41 ago (+5/-0)

Well she knows you like them girthy, black, and made of silicone. She's thoughtful like that

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 2 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:46:47 ago (+2/-0)

Noice

[ - ] dosvydanya_freedomz 2 points 3 monthsJan 28, 2024 00:18:03 ago (+2/-0)

wait, how coconut milk taste? i have had coconut water before and i ate from the coconut pulp itself but never tried the so called coconut milk.

coconut water is one of the best natural products to get rid of kidney stones. it helps expels the stones more quickly and cleans your kidneys to boot

i can vouch for it

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 1 point 2 monthsJan 28, 2024 01:38:34 ago (+1/-0)

It's sweet and thicker than milk. You use it like cream. I worked at a Thai restaurant and now I love it. Thai currys are basically just coconut milk, Thai spices, and the curry of your choice. My favorite is green curry. Add rice and veggies and protein, and Bob's your uncle. Shit's easy. The Thai government literally trains people to be chefs and send them here to be brand ambassadors for Thailand. They're bug people. Their food is pretty simple.

[ - ] dosvydanya_freedomz 0 points 2 monthsJan 28, 2024 01:46:21 ago (+0/-0)

it just like yogurt then?

[ - ] MaryXmas 0 points 2 monthsJan 28, 2024 08:46:02 ago (+0/-0)

So there is Thai spice, and curry. Wtf is curry? Just more spices?

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 2 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 23:24:52 ago (+2/-0)

Its better than what @paul_neri woman buys him. She buys... GULP! Canned biscuits!

[ - ] gardella 2 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 22:06:17 ago (+2/-0)

Never seen it with raisins, but the caned brown bread is staple in my home. We keep a couple cases on hand at all times. Great in times of need. Most days we go get fresh bread at the baker daily, but if we skip a day or camping over three days canned bread is the way to go. A great way to prepare for the great days ahead. If you don't camp (like niggers) save the canned bread for times there will be no bread.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 0 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 23:44:15 ago (+0/-0)

I guess I just don't know about canned bread. I'm open to the idea, I just didn't know it was a thing. I'm going camping in March for my anniversary, I'll give it a shot.

This is fuckin blowing my mind.

[ - ] txtattoos 2 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:41:01 ago (+2/-0)

Good shit, slice and toast it

[ - ] lord_nougat 2 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:25:57 ago (+2/-0)

You've never had that? Well, you will! And it's great!

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 1 point 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:29:41 ago (+1/-0)

Y'all are fuckin serious? Canned fuckin bread? I might eat that if the power grid goes down, but I have flour, water, salt, and yeast my dude. I don't need no bread from a can.

[ - ] DukeofRaul 1 point 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:30:06 ago (+1/-0)

Cheeseburger in a can is better imo

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 1 point 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:47:44 ago (+1/-0)

The fuck....

I mean don't get me wrong I don't mind shit like Frey Bentos pies but canned cheeseburger....

[ - ] Sector2 1 point 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 20:51:03 ago (+1/-0)

https://www.amazon.com/Augason-Farms-Gluten-Free-Black-Burger/dp/B01NAVJ1UW/ref=sr_1_6?

This 2 pounder is even gluten free. One 'burger' in a #10 can...

[ - ] MaryXmas 1 point 2 monthsJan 28, 2024 08:51:39 ago (+1/-0)

I have a number of buckets from that brand. That 4 gallon looks reasonable. Just ignore the burger part and treat it as black beans.

[ - ] Peleg 1 point 2 monthsJan 28, 2024 08:06:30 ago (+1/-0)

Canned foods was all the shit before plastic was invented. People back then canned Everything!

[ - ] GrayDragon 1 point 3 monthsJan 28, 2024 00:32:40 ago (+1/-0)

I saw chicken (whole) in a can online once. Looked repulsive.

[ - ] DukeofRaul 1 point 3 monthsJan 28, 2024 01:00:00 ago (+1/-0)

I saw it too

[ - ] Ragnar 1 point 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 23:51:16 ago (+1/-0)

Wtf is wrong with your nail?
Who puts coconut milk in lentil soup!?

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 1 point 3 monthsJan 28, 2024 00:54:24 ago (+1/-0)

Wtf is wrong with your nail?

Hammer, meet nail.

Who puts coconut milk in lentil soup!?

Who knows.

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 0 points 2 monthsJan 28, 2024 11:16:55 ago (+0/-0)

Brown bread is usually a bit oily, so canning it doesn't seem weird at all.

[ - ] drhitler 0 points 2 monthsJan 28, 2024 04:33:28 ago (+0/-0)

They will can anything these days, canned cake has me kinda interested

https://www.healthycanning.com/wp-content/uploads/Home-canned-cake-004-1.jpg

[ - ] jigganiggaboo 0 points 3 monthsJan 27, 2024 21:47:14 ago (+0/-0)

Seems like something you would find at a supermarket in the UK