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Right about the year 2001 I fell in love with a girl from Pennsylvania. She wasn't crippled, but I met her at the "Ms. Wheelchair America" pageant in Ft Lauderdale. Probably sounds fictional and homosexual, but I have two adopted sisters in wheelchairs, and I was on probation at the time and needed to work off some community service hours. It took place at a beach side hotel, so I figured I was gaming the system.

So we got into a long distance relationship, and we'd frequently talk on the phone for hours. Shortly after, I violated my felony probation. I got arrested for reckless driving and I pissed hot on a drug test. Now I'm fucked, at least I thought I was at the time. I bought me a greyhound bus ticket from South Florida to Philadelphia and absconded, just wanted to go see me girl again before I sat through what I thought would be a ten year prison sentence.

I don't know if any of y'all have spent any amount of time on a greyhound, but strap in I'm bout to tell you about it. I used to see these busses roll through town and I looked at them with a kind of romance, I'd look at passenger planes in the sky the same way. Like "that's full of unique people making their way to unique situations". Were they going to the funeral of a parent, or their daughter's wedding, or vacation? All of those things could be true about the same bus.

So I get on the bus just north of Palm Beach and it's 24 hours (so I thought) to Philadelphia. Now, you might not know this, but racism didn't exist back in 2001. It's true, look it up. I ended up sitting next to this black dude that was also headed to the city of brotherly shove. An unlikely traveling companion, but it probably saved my life.

So we get to Fayetteville NC, and we got a hell of a delay. Ended up stuck in good ole Fayettenam for almost six hours. While there, some local nigger asked me if I wanted half an ounce of hash for $30. That seemed like a pretty good deal, and I hadn't yet learned to never relax. I leave the bus station to go make this deal. Unbeknownst to me, the black dude I was traveling with followed me out. He stepped into the deal, it seemed so strange to me at the time, but when we got back to the station he told me that those niggers were about to rob me. Maybe he was full of shit, but I really don't think so.

Ended up smoking a little and I got so fuckin paranoid that I flushed most of it, which was dumb.

The rest of the ride was mostly uneventful. I did ride past the Pentagon and you could see the damage from 9/11 from I95. I ended up going back and turned myself in to the authorities. Nine months house arrest and an additional three years probation, on top of the couple months in the county waiting for trial. I ended up moving to Philly when I completed that, only to learn that the girl I loved fucked a Jamaican nigger. Stayed up there four years before I came home, but that's another story for another day.