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the tale of two jobs, not sure how to approach this problem

submitted by deleted to Rants 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 09:38:36 ago (+14/-1)     (Rants)

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67 comments block


[ - ] JustALover 18 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 10:47:35 ago (+18/-0)

This is easy: your wife is retarded, her family is retarded.

When push comes to shove, the only person that will always care for you is you yourself. Don't sacrifice yourself for some dumb broad who doesn't understand money and doesn't understand that the state is your enemy.

If she wants to believe that the state is always there to help, she can find some other guy to hang with.

Take care of yourself first, always. Keep yer jawb and let the wife go crazy on her own dime.

Prepare yourself mentally to leave her.

[ - ] deleted 3 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:34:31 ago (+3/-0)

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[ - ] deleted 11 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:41:08 ago (+11/-0)

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[ - ] Name 4 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:47:56 ago (+4/-0)

What the Fuck were you thinking OP? Is this an "accessory wife" that you career required?

Be more eugenic. You owe it to all of us.

[ - ] KDs_Other_Burner 0 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:56:03 ago (+0/-0)

In this day and age there can be no excuses accepted.

[ - ] deleted 2 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 12:19:58 ago (+2/-0)

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[ - ] bobdole9 6 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 13:02:59 ago (+6/-0)

Run. Take the job and run from the dumb.

[ - ] Sector2 3 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 14:24:02 ago (+3/-0)

You've already offered proof in your other posts that your wife and her family are some kind of insane. If you're not insane already, you will be if you stay in that group.

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 1 point 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 12:34:20 ago (+1/-0)

The original definition of retarded was one standard deviation from the mean. In IQ terms, this is an IQ of 85.

You wife is retarded. Your children will likely also be retarded.

[ - ] deleted 0 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 12:37:46 ago (+0/-0)

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[ - ] recon_johnny 0 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 19:24:17 ago (+0/-0)

So you married a nigger?

[ - ] WNwoman 11 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 10:59:31 ago (+11/-0)

Why in the actual fuck do your in laws know so much of your personal business? Any time the conversation comes up you need to immediately shut it down. “I will not discuss any personal financial information with you, mother inlaw. Please pass the butter”.

Next make it crystal clear to your wife that you are the head of the household and will be making decisions on your job and finances. If she doesn’t fall in line then be prepared to cut your losses.

[ - ] deleted 7 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:35:01 ago (+7/-0)

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[ - ] deleted 0 points 3 monthsJan 22, 2024 12:46:07 ago (+0/-0)

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[ - ] deleted 0 points 3 monthsJan 22, 2024 12:48:14 ago (+0/-0)

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[ - ] deleted 1 point 3 monthsJan 22, 2024 12:58:19 ago (+1/-0)

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[ - ] Localuser 5 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 10:45:00 ago (+5/-0)

Look out for yourself man. If I had the opportunity to set my address outside my current state I would but there’s all kinds of rules I need for my current job. Besides you have a home and actual residence there so that’s a perfect excuse.

My advice is to keep this info to yourself and not discuss this with your wife and MIL but sounds like they’re nosy. Just make up a lie and say you figured it out with work and they’re ok with it. End of story. MIL isn’t going to pay your bills if shit hits the fan. You also risk jeopardizing your marriage because you’ll knock down your income and in women’s mentality that’s a bad thing.

[ - ] deleted 1 point 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 12:17:58 ago (+1/-0)

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[ - ] Peleg 3 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 13:53:50 ago (+3/-0)

YOU MARRIED A NIGGER!
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[ - ] iSnark 3 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 10:12:53 ago (+4/-1)*

In my humble estimation of your situation, you need to give your wife her walking papers! If she isn't supporting you, and bringing joy to your life, she's like a giant millstone attached to your neck! She'll have no qualms divorcing you if you only made 70K a year. You're better off doing your own thing, and having casual relationships with women when you want to, and on YOUR terms. Being in a "relationship" these days with a woman is not worth it. You'll carry her ass until she gets a bug up that ass, and her friends and social media convince her to divorce you. I know this isn't easy advice to hear, but I think it's something you need to consider.

[ - ] deleted 2 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:13:43 ago (+2/-0)

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[ - ] iSnark 4 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:37:27 ago (+4/-0)*

Following that logic, boys & girls shouldn't be educated in the same classroom, and, men and women shouldn't be allowed to work in the same office. (Is it possible that your wife is a secret islamic extremist?)

Kidding aside, Women hate weakness in men, they will study a man to try to find his weakness, and when they do, they use it to exploit him, and then they quickly lose respect for them and abandon them. Hold your frame. Have you ever questioned your wife on WHY her parents hired a PI to investigate you? That's some trailer park trash bullshit right there. No direct offense meant, but, if your wife were a good woman, and truly marriage material, she would have been PISSED at he mom for pulling that stunt! A cursory internet search would have been understandable, but a PI?

[ - ] deleted 0 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 12:08:55 ago (+0/-0)

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[ - ] Name 2 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:14:03 ago (+2/-0)

Appeal to Authority; "My accountant told me to do it."

at 300,000/yr you should be consulting an accountant and an investment/retirement specialist. I mean, unless you are spending all of that 300,000 every year. Then you're just nigger rich.

[ - ] deleted 4 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:16:00 ago (+4/-0)

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[ - ] Name 2 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:21:08 ago (+2/-0)

Doing what your accountant tells you is what keeps you out of jail. If they can't understand that Appeal to Authority is all you have. From you username perhaps there is spiritual leader in your community that could assist you. They're usually pretty good with these issues being accustomed to non-profit status and whatnot.

[ - ] deleted 2 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:22:56 ago (+2/-0)

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[ - ] Name 0 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:28:11 ago (+0/-0)

Are...are there children in the picture...

[ - ] deleted 2 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:28:49 ago (+2/-0)

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[ - ] Hobama 6 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 12:02:02 ago (+6/-0)

Get out while you still can. Sounds like you are dealing with imbeciles. Since they also spied on you they are hostile imbeciles. It sounds like they are trying to ruin you financially. They may also try to get you into legal trouble so make sure to protect yourself.

[ - ] deleted 4 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:38:15 ago (+4/-0)

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[ - ] Name 3 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:39:05 ago (+3/-0)

Re-reading the thread the wife's proximity to her parents may be the issue. When the husband and wife join as one there should be a severing of the relationship (to some extent) between the wife and her father. If you are not able to replace him as the patriarchal head...you're kind of screwed. Maybe put about 175 miles distance between the wife and parents. Close enough for frequent visits but not close enough for daily face to face

[ - ] Sector2 1 point 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 14:39:53 ago (+1/-0)

Staying in that situation means you probably have some serious problems of your own.

Get out first and ASAP. Then address your issues that made you choose that insanity in the first place.

(assuming all your posts about that family are accurate)

[ - ] Name 0 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:30:08 ago (+0/-0)

Perhaps that is the real issue.

[ - ] deleted 0 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:37:25 ago (+0/-0)

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[ - ] KDs_Other_Burner 2 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 09:51:19 ago (+2/-0)

When I tried to explain this to my wife and her family, not only did they not give a shit, they equated my wife's government job as more important than my own. They told me money doesnt matter

What the fuck, why did you marry a woman who believes money doesn't matter? What the fuck does her family have to do with it?

[ - ] deleted 3 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 09:55:12 ago (+3/-0)

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[ - ] KDs_Other_Burner 4 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 10:03:36 ago (+4/-0)

I sort of get it, but not really. Women are generally pretty materialistic and most of them seem to understand the correlation of money being the factor that lets you buy shit.

If she's not materialistic though.... okay.

But my wife is close to her mother too and I'd no sooner discuss my career with my MIL than I'd drill a hole through my own head. That just seems like an odd spot to get caught in.

If I honestly was caught in this spot I'd be brutally honest and remind the wife/daughter she has no conception of money or where it comes from, and tell the mother in law her career advice is about as welcome as a nigger at a country club. What else can you do but be realistic with women?

[ - ] deleted 3 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 10:14:24 ago (+3/-0)

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[ - ] KDs_Other_Burner 2 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 10:26:57 ago (+2/-0)*

Sounds like a sitcom. My MIL is an utterly worthless cunt but I can honestly say she's preferable to what you're describing. Good luck friend.

EDIT - Oh, whatever you do remember to try and somehow drag mother and/or daughter into the same reality we're all in. Where money matters, and taxation is theft. Women often live in a reality that doesn't entirely or even remotely calibrate with an objective reality. Dragging them back to that place, even briefly, should make your point.

Although I'd concentrate on the wife and not your MIL. GL again.

[ - ] deleted 0 points 3 monthsJan 22, 2024 12:54:21 ago (+0/-0)

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[ - ] WNwoman 1 point 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:11:17 ago (+1/-0)

The real question is why the fuck was he even discussing this with her family? You never talk about personal finances with in-laws.

[ - ] KDs_Other_Burner 2 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:15:55 ago (+2/-0)

She had detectives spy him out according to OP.

[ - ] deleted 3 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:18:07 ago (+3/-0)

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[ - ] WNwoman 6 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:21:03 ago (+6/-0)

Do you have kids with this woman? If not, get out of this marriage now as these people are psycho. If you do have kids, explain to your wife that she is not to discuss any of this with her family ever again or you will cut off all contact.

[ - ] deleted 3 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:36:39 ago (+3/-0)

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[ - ] NeedleStack 3 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:54:03 ago (+3/-0)

I don't use this word often because it's been hijacked by lefties but that is TOXIC as fuck!

[ - ] con77 1 point 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 14:12:08 ago (+1/-0)

ignore them. your wifes duty is to you.

In the 80's I was in the Coast Guard in NYC. My home of record was Florida. A bunch of enlisted guys were sitting around looking at our checks. A guy that was from NYC was getting raped on taxes. Federal, State, and City!

Most of us were only paying Federal tax. The nimrod went to the Command and complained that we werent paying taxes like he was! The Command issued a proclamation that all enlisted personnel were to change their home of record to NYC!

We were all in a room reading this order and I told the guys that if they did that not only would they get fucked on their taxes but that when they got out of the Coast Guard they would have to pay their own way home.

I shit canned the letter and when I did 12 other guys did too. It was an illegal order after all. Word got back to command that I had been the instigator of the mass refusal. They couldnt legally do anything about it but I was #1 on the shit list after that.

I received my Honorable Discharge the following year. They tried to fuck me on that but the base Admiral told them no and to leave me alone. I had never officially been in trouble or charged with anything in 7 years of service. I was in the break room one day and the LT in charge of my duty section handed me a copy of the Admirals letter without saying a word.

Thats how I found out they were trying to fuck me on my discharge! I had been in some scraps in the city , broken thumb, stitches, but had never been arrested or missed duty. I had a rough reputation in the unit but nothing that they could pin on me!

I made the mistake of bragging about losing the cops on my motorcycle and one of the commands suck ups told them and they reported me to the NYPD! the Detective that showed up to question me was okay, I denied everything.

I knew who ratted me out and I told the cop that the guy carried a knife every time he left the base. Governors Island. Right off the southern tip of Manhattan.

The Detective looks at me. 12 ribbons and a Cuttermans Insignia that denotes 5 years sea duty. Then went to talk to the rat. Who had the 2 ribbons everyone gets in boot camp and nothing else because he had only bounced from unit to unit on the base and had never been west of the Hudson river! Fucking guy had never driven a car! Fukn NYers.

Anyway the guy that tried to rat me out in order to suck the commands dick ended getting arrested THE NEXT WEEK LEAVING THE BASE FOR CARRYING A CONCEALED WEAPON! hhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK YOU VIC SYLVESTRI. You New York PUERTO RICAN PIECE OF SHIT!

I made it out of NYC in one piece. With my Honrable Discharge.

[ - ] JustALover 1 point 3 monthsJan 19, 2024 13:39:26 ago (+1/-0)

Twas a mighty fine tale, with the rat getting a little bit of what he deserved. Too bad he didn't get it worse - there's nothing more fun than a blanket party.

But you were in the CG, my friend. You're still a fag. The only bigger fags than the CG are the Navy.

[ - ] prototype 1 point 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 12:16:19 ago (+1/-0)

I could technically work for them as a contractor, but then im demoting myself in pay and benefits to appease my wife and her family.

Theres your problem. Your wife is a deadweight braindead libshit.

[ - ] Hoobeejoo 1 point 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 12:03:06 ago (+1/-0)

You are actively avoiding theft. There is nothing immoral about it. Increasing your tax burden is never ThE RiGhT TiNg ToDo!

Every tax professional in the world woukd tell you it is not your obligation to pay as much tax as you can.

[ - ] mannerbund 1 point 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 12:02:36 ago (+1/-0)

There's only one captain of a ship. Decide what you want to do, tell your wife what's happening, and move forward. Either she'll support you or she wont.

I've been lucky enough to have a supporting wife, with me through good jobs, no jobs, and everything in between.

Your job is to sacrifice for your wife and family, by wage slaving, by going out and earning an income, by devoting your time to a business you started, whatever you are doing to survive.

By providing for your family above that which you would provide your self, you are sacrificing your life energy for them.

Don't let them confuse the situation.

[ - ] Hobama 1 point 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:59:16 ago (+1/-0)

Yeah they are retarded like others are saying. Its none of their business and they can get fucked. They will lead you to ruin. Take care of your family as you see fit. You dont worry about monkeys at the zoo hooting and hollering and you certainly dont make life altering financial decisions based on them.

[ - ] beece 1 point 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:04:43 ago (+1/-0)

I have no advice to offer, but wish you luck in the relationship fren. I'd consider trying some sly ways to get some more mother-daughter separation.

[ - ] NoRefunds 0 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 21:03:26 ago (+0/-0)

CA franchise tax board is faggots fuck them

[ - ] recon_johnny 0 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 19:29:01 ago (+0/-0)

Taking this at face value: This isn't a discussion. There's no alternatives here. The answer will be "no" forever. She/her family WILL out you at some point. You know what will happen then, and it will be unpleasant at best. Ignore this at your peril.

But you know all this. Asking for validation from internet strangers is a pussy, low-T move. All you're doing is bragging about what you have to a bunch of people you've never met. With a 2 month old account, if I have to guess, everything is less than 50% of what you say, and you've inflated the rest.

As to the issue: We don't care.

When/If you have an actual problem, perhaps some will give a fuck to give you a thoughtful reply.

[ - ] Trickthegoyim 0 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 18:16:21 ago (+0/-0)

Fucking 1st world problems. Stop bitching

[ - ] Grospoliner 0 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 13:51:09 ago (+0/-0)

I would suggest that you speak with a lawyer and look into placing the home you own and your bank account (or forming a new bank account) under a trust. This can help provide protection against the court from forcing you to give away your property in the event of a divorce.

From what I've read here, a divorce seems inevitable, especially due to the unwarranted invasion of privacy with the private investigator. In some states this may sufficient to qualify as a breach of trust and permit you to divorce her without issue.

Either way, I suggest talking to a lawyer before doing anything else.

Also, encrypt all your shit and change your computer passwords.

Do you have anything under joint accounts?

[ - ] Peleg 0 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 13:45:16 ago (+0/-0)

"They told me money doesnt matter, and Jesus will provide, and that me thinking about these issues makes me too money hungry and greedy"

If you are being a good steward of the things Jesus has blessed you with then mindlessly handing over half your income to incompetent boobs that waste it faster than they can steal it is not being a good steward!
You keep saying, "your wife And Her Family". Dude, her family does NOT have a voice in this! I can't stress this enough! Her family needs to shut their fuckung mouths about You and Your job!
And as for your wife. She needs to just be happy that You are ALLOWING her to have a job outside the home! Her place, where she truly belongs, is in the home! If you two have children she needs to be at home raising those children. If you two don't have children yet then she needs to be home preparing herself and your home for when you Do have children!

Go to your house in your state and live there. When she says something about it tell her that that is your home and where you are going to stay And that Her place is with You.

[ - ] Cantaloupe 0 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 13:07:25 ago (+0/-0)*

You're doing the smart thing.

One thing to consider. In a strong economy government jobs are about 20% of employment.

In our increasingly shit economy government jobs prevail as the private sector drops people.

So keep doing what you're doing, just be aware yours is probably less stable.

Holy shit about the private investigator. WTF? Trust is fundamental to a relationship. You should decide if that relationship is for you. If not then do as she said and pay the higher taxes, if you lose the job and have no income then have a mediated divorce. Tell her you love her but she has shown she has no trust for you - by paying in full you cannot be blackmailed.

[ - ] iSnark 0 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 12:06:51 ago (+0/-0)

More unsolicited feedback:

Your in-laws hired a PI to investigate you, well, turn-about is fair play!

Consider finding or hiring a trustworthy guy to test your wife. Find a guy, preferably someone you know that she doesn't, someone that's exceedingly good looking, that you have a reasonable amount of trust in. This needs to be a top-shelf guy in terms of looks. Get him to flirt with your wife, without actually sleeping with her, to see what she's really made of. Find out how far your wife goes down that rabbit hole.

I bet, if your in-laws found out that you did this, they'd be all kinds of pissed! Which would be ironic, because it's no different than what they did to you in hiring a PI.

[ - ] albatrosv15 0 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 12:02:58 ago (+0/-0)

Okay i read everything. Your wives relatives can not be talked through logic.
How long have you been with your wife and how old are you approximately?

[ - ] Name 0 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 12:35:24 ago (+0/-0)

Age and occupation would shed some light on it but he ain't gonna give that up. I'd guess he's about 26.

[ - ] HeyJames -1 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 09:45:48 ago (+2/-3)

Wtf lmao where do these people come from. I think the goal actually is to get you to give up in frustration and tell her to quit her job so she really really doesn't have to work. In any case this whole story is pretty confusing. Guessing you work remotely and you and her have separate living arrangements or something?

In any case 255k shouldn't be given up for 75k because "Jesus". As Kevin O'leary says, money has no conscience. Money doesn't care if your sick, or tired, or hungry or depressed. Only the pathetic and weak will convice you that you should sacrifice your money needlessly.

[ - ] deleted 2 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 09:49:02 ago (+2/-0)

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[ - ] HeyJames 2 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 09:56:32 ago (+3/-1)

If you literally have a residence in your home state where your employed then I really don't see an issue. You pay property taxes on that dwelling and contribute to that states economy. There's no violation of moral ethics here.

[ - ] deleted 5 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 10:11:39 ago (+5/-0)

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[ - ] HeyJames 0 points 3 monthsJan 18, 2024 11:50:36 ago (+0/-0)

They basically want you to be taxed twice. That's very very dumb.