Due to my age, it’s time for the old anal checkup. I have Kaiser and rather than have me come in for the ol' camera up the cornhole procedure, they have mailed to me this neat little packet containing instructions and a tube for me to put a sample of my poop into. So here I am looking at this thing and imagining, fearing, having to dig around in my shit and insert some into this tube and mail it off for results.
Apparently I am to spread this supplied tissue on top of the toilet water to catch the poop. Then I use a little supplied scoop to funnel some into the tube. I’m not a fecalpheliac in any way, shape or form, yet they want me playing with mookie stinks. I, seriously afraid I’ll blow chunks trying to perform this sickening procedure as I can damn near make myself throw up just taking a dump. This is all very strange. Maybe I’ll get really drunk, shitfaced drunk, in order to move forward with this. Anyone here had to deal with this kind of thing? I mean, I guess it’s better than the alternative?
Put on a good podcast, get your gloves on, turn off your brain and just follow procedure and get the job done. It's better than the camera.
A family member of mine is a nurse for a home full of retards. Like, literally missing half a brain-retards. She has to deal with that sort of thing on the daily. It's normal for her.
Which makes me think, while I pick up dog poop, how normal it is to deal with literal shit. It's the price you pay for caring for someone/thing. Farmers, ranchers, parents, etc.
[ - ] Panic 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 12, 2024 10:02:04 ago (+1/-0)
Had my first colonoscopy last year, and they found one polyp, which they cut out. I'm over 60 years old and see no need for a second one for the next sixty years. We all gotta die of something eventually, so why bother with stupid annual check-ups on this? Nope.
Yeah the s* in the box is just as effective as a colonoscopy at detecting colon cancer. And it does not have the risk of a colonoscopy which is much greater than most people realize. Your risk of dying of a colon perforation or having severe side effects from a colon perforation due to a colonoscopy is much greater than you dying of colon cancer.
Now the one difference that some insurance is say is that they will pay for the colonoscopy if it's an inspection because it's not diagnostic but if you have a positive result from your DNA pooping the box then suddenly the colonoscopy that they're going to ask for afterward becomes diagnostic and then you sometimes have to pay $7,000 for the colonoscopy
Personally I would go for the poop in the box because you don't know the quality of the random street s** who will be responsible for sticking the used colonoscopy scope up your a** and not f**** up your otherwise functioning colon. And remember that colonoscopy has been up other people's assholes and you're going to be relying on someone who doesn't make a lot of money to have sterilized that thing between putting it up the other person's ass and putting it up yours and it can transmit all kinds of viruses and diseases straight up your ass.
Colonoscopies are the latest in revenue generating tests created to instill fear in people and make them submit to having a probe stuck up their anuses. My local VA was badgering me to do it, but I told them firmly that I would NOT do that. That was two years ago. They haven't badgered me for a while so I can assume either colon cancer has dropped significantly, or the bonus for doctors recommending the test is no longer valid. Either way, I'm justified in thinking that it was a needless test that would have caused me a considerable amount of stress and discomfort. So fuck those people.
Yeah, you’re right. I grew up in the suburbs. My father grew up on a farm, but I got stuck hanging out in the bowling alley and the park. Yeah, I have kids, was in the room for both their births. I do clean my chickens butts when they get all poopy. I’m not afraid of poop. I’m just afraid of my poop.
Maybe I’ll get really drunk, shitfaced drunk, in order to move forward with this.
"Sir, we found Goldschlager in your shit. It ruined our highly precise analysis machine, and, of course, we checked with your insurance, and it turns out your silver plan does not cover this. Ironically, the gold plan would, but you don't have that. You owe us $75 thousand dollars....
...oh, and you have anal cancer. Would you like to schedule a follow up?"
[ + ] PotatoWhisperer2
[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 12, 2024 02:33:27 ago (+1/-0)
A family member of mine is a nurse for a home full of retards. Like, literally missing half a brain-retards. She has to deal with that sort of thing on the daily. It's normal for her.
Which makes me think, while I pick up dog poop, how normal it is to deal with literal shit. It's the price you pay for caring for someone/thing. Farmers, ranchers, parents, etc.
So take care of yourself for once, niggerfaggot.
[ + ] SmartArseWhiteBoy
[ - ] SmartArseWhiteBoy 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 12, 2024 02:40:13 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Panic
[ - ] Panic 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 12, 2024 10:02:04 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] iSnark
[ - ] iSnark 2 points 1.3 yearsJan 11, 2024 21:27:12 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] Crackinjokes
[ - ] Crackinjokes 2 points 1.3 yearsJan 11, 2024 22:34:17 ago (+2/-0)
Now the one difference that some insurance is say is that they will pay for the colonoscopy if it's an inspection because it's not diagnostic but if you have a positive result from your DNA pooping the box then suddenly the colonoscopy that they're going to ask for afterward becomes diagnostic and then you sometimes have to pay $7,000 for the colonoscopy
Personally I would go for the poop in the box because you don't know the quality of the random street s** who will be responsible for sticking the used colonoscopy scope up your a** and not f**** up your otherwise functioning colon. And remember that colonoscopy has been up other people's assholes and you're going to be relying on someone who doesn't make a lot of money to have sterilized that thing between putting it up the other person's ass and putting it up yours and it can transmit all kinds of viruses and diseases straight up your ass.
[ + ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey
[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey [op] 2 points 1.3 yearsJan 11, 2024 22:54:01 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] TheYiddler
[ - ] TheYiddler 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 12, 2024 06:44:22 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Lost_In_The_Thinking
[ - ] Lost_In_The_Thinking 2 points 1.3 yearsJan 11, 2024 23:48:13 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic
[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 2 points 1.3 yearsJan 12, 2024 00:31:26 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] Anus_Expander
[ - ] Anus_Expander 2 points 1.3 yearsJan 12, 2024 00:34:59 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] UncleDoug
[ - ] UncleDoug 2 points 1.3 yearsJan 12, 2024 01:51:05 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] bobdole9
[ - ] bobdole9 3 points 1.3 yearsJan 11, 2024 21:57:07 ago (+3/-0)
Guess you've never mucked stalls?
[ + ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey
[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey [op] 2 points 1.3 yearsJan 11, 2024 22:54:34 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] bobdole9
[ - ] bobdole9 2 points 1.3 yearsJan 12, 2024 09:02:39 ago (+2/-0)
Have kids? Were you with your wife when she was in labor?
[ + ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey
[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey [op] 2 points 1.3 yearsJan 13, 2024 00:54:19 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] Fascinus
[ - ] Fascinus 6 points 1.3 yearsJan 11, 2024 21:21:17 ago (+6/-0)
Make them sign for it.
[ + ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey
[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey [op] 3 points 1.3 yearsJan 11, 2024 21:33:57 ago (+3/-0)
[ + ] we_kill_creativity
[ - ] we_kill_creativity 7 points 1.3 yearsJan 11, 2024 21:41:13 ago (+7/-0)
"Sir, we found Goldschlager in your shit. It ruined our highly precise analysis machine, and, of course, we checked with your insurance, and it turns out your silver plan does not cover this. Ironically, the gold plan would, but you don't have that. You owe us $75 thousand dollars....
...oh, and you have anal cancer. Would you like to schedule a follow up?"
[ + ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey
[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey [op] 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 11, 2024 22:55:16 ago (+1/-0)