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Slack is terrible. It was not designed with actually getting work done in mind. It is a cheesy knockoff of AOL Instant Messenger combined with some email and conference features. It is designed to try to keep these young kids engaged and make work "fun." As far as getting things done goes, unless the window is constantly open, with no alerting sounds/banners/alarms, it cripples our ability to be effective because we’re not getting info immediately. CALL FOR SERIOUS SHIT THAT NEEDS IMMEDIATE ATTENTION. FUCK SLACK.

This very much reminds me of a situation I had in the Summer of 1991, when me and some pals were in a synth-punk band called "The Wild Ass Hairs."

Our keyboardist, Stinky Liebowitz, would show up to rehearsal with 8-9 keyboards from all different eras. 1/2 hour of practice time would be spent with him offloading his equipment, swapping out tubes from organs, adjusting the Mackie board repeatedly and just generally fussing over things. We had to kick him out of the band. It became apparent that the very technology that was supposed to help us was ironically hindering us. I told him: "What's the purpose of having all of this equipment if we never even make one song?"

Seriously, though: Everything with these kids is an app. “Oh we have an app for this, an app for that, and app for this.” Pretty soon, to wipe your own fucking ass you’ll be encouraged to have an app. It’s ridiculous.

These apps are the biggest scam of the 2010’s—particularly ones like Slack that are allegedly for productivity. It’s just a bunch of niggers and morons playing texting grabass with each other and trying to sound authoritative and professional:

“John, could you please be more responsive on the Slack App? A woman in room 1001 was being raped repeatedly and we assigned you the task, but didn’t see that you had contacted her.

John: “Oh, I’m sorry. I was busy looking for the most expressive Pikachu emoji to congratulate Jen on finding that toothbrush for the guest of 808.”