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18

Naked man nabbed by police after ‘cannonball' plunge into giant aquarium at Bass Pro Shop in Alabama

submitted by Steelerfish to whatever 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2024 14:40:53 ago (+19/-1)     (www.nbcdfw.com)

https://www.nbcdfw.com/news/national-international/naked-man-nabbed-by-police-after-cannonball-plunge-into-giant-aquarium-at-bass-pro-shop-in-alabama/3426711/

I’m shocked this didn’t happen in Florida….


17 comments block

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[ - ] H8Texpress 5 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2024 14:42:43 ago (+5/-0)

The Bass Pro aquariums are usually pretty cold but the public nudity involved leads me to think he was probably high as fuck.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 3 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2024 14:53:14 ago (+3/-0)

It was Alabama, he was probably twisted on white lightning. Moonshine can do funny things to a man's judgement. I know it's just booze, but there's definitely something about the way it metabolizes that sets it a part from bourbon or vodka.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 2 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2024 20:16:39 ago (+2/-0)

I got drunk on moonshine wun time and woke up on the inside of a waterbed. Another time I woke up in jail. Another time I woke up and my Jeep was totaled and the battery shorted out against the hood on a back mountain trail and all the animals were looking at me like wtf are you doing here. Another time I was at a party down at the river and met this fine woman and took her into the woods to bang. She was lying o na rock and I was standing and going at a high rate of speed long stroking that big daddy and it came out and plowed right into the side of the rock and went immediately limp and I lied on the ground in the fetal position whimpering. It didn't hurt the rock, though, but my whacker was tko'd! No permanent injury.

[ - ] Dingo 2 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2024 20:47:11 ago (+2/-0)

I got drunk on moonshine wun time and woke up on the inside of a waterbed.

Hahaha. Someone on here said their relative was fed human meat in ww2 prison camp so I thought "Holy fuck!" ... but, actually this story I believe.

[ - ] Fascinus 4 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2024 14:49:11 ago (+4/-0)

[ - ] Looneyskiproony 2 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2024 15:12:22 ago (+2/-0)

No pic mmmmm

[ - ] Empire_of_the_Mind 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 7, 2024 00:29:07 ago (+1/-0)

there's a video on X, everyone is making fun of his tiny dick

[ - ] GrayDragon 6 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2024 16:34:12 ago (+6/-0)

[ - ] Steelerfish [op] 2 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2024 16:56:08 ago (+2/-0)

Perfect!

[ - ] Dingo -1 points 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2024 20:50:41 ago (+0/-1)

https://files.catbox.moe/u1sq6f.mp4

That commercial is a way to say "this store is owned by jews" without actually saying "this store is owned by jews".

[ - ] RabbiKinderschtupper 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2024 16:43:33 ago (+1/-0)

Oh hey, I've been to that location. There's a Buc-ee's across the street.

[ - ] Indoctrinated_USA 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2024 17:26:15 ago (+1/-0)

"A 42 year old Alabama man"
So... Not White.

[ - ] SirNiggsalot 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2024 17:53:37 ago (+1/-0)

Sounds like Florida Man went on a road trip

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2024 17:56:43 ago (+1/-0)

I’m shocked this didn’t happen in Florida….

That's just a myth brought about by lazy journalists and Floridian laws. Everywhere is like Florida, you just don't hear as much about it.

[ - ] AtomicForeskin 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2024 23:40:07 ago (+1/-0)

It started with the bath salt zombie face eating and then it just became fashionable to prove Florida is insane. But if Florida was any crazier than anywhere else it was just because of the diversity and climate.

[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2024 20:21:47 ago (+1/-0)

He's just ringin in the new year.

[ - ] BulletStopper 1 point 1.3 yearsJan 6, 2024 23:48:30 ago (+1/-0)

Florida Man: "Pffft! Noob."