I'm pretty sure Mossad spy satellites are scanning my brain waves - Upgoat

I'm pretty sure Mossad spy satellites are scanning my brain waves
submitted by Anus_Expander to whatever 5 monthsJan 3, 2024 08:26:03 ago (+9/-0) (whatever)

I just don't know why they would bother, I'm very low IQ.

[ - ] PearofAnguishJuniorManager 3 points 5 monthsJan 3, 2024 09:58:22 ago (+3/-0)

A few months ago, my ass was sparking. This is a rare event, I get the roids about once a decade. I did not mention it aloud. I turn on my iPad and up pops an ad for Tucks Medicated Pads! I had never seen such an ad before.

We’re in a simulation. My own ass…is a simulation. Yours too.

[ + ] Sector2

[ - ] Sector2 2 points 4 monthsJan 3, 2024 11:15:44 ago (+2/-0)

Did your phone spend more time in the bathroom? Maybe you hesitated a bit when scrolling past a related ad. You can start to worry if you start getting ads for cancer or pregnancy products.

[ + ] PearofAnguishJuniorManager

[ - ] PearofAnguishJuniorManager 1 point 4 monthsJan 3, 2024 15:36:50 ago (+1/-0)

No, I’ve never owned a cell phone, or Nordstar, or any faggot assed Alexia type devices. I ignore ads completely. The most logical explanation is that my ass is simulated and when I sleep, it ceases to exist until my consciousness reboots.

I need one of you fellas to stay up all night and watch my ass while I sleep. Just watch, that’s all. For science.

[ + ] Anus_Expander

[ - ] Anus_Expander [op] 0 points 4 monthsJan 3, 2024 21:09:09 ago (+0/-0)

I'm sure Queeri would even pay you for the privilege

[ + ] Anus_Expander

[ - ] Anus_Expander [op] 1 point 4 monthsJan 3, 2024 14:53:16 ago (+1/-0)

How do I request a BootyPop9000 upgrade?

[ + ] Dirtydyno

[ - ] Dirtydyno 0 points 4 monthsJan 3, 2024 13:04:15 ago (+0/-0)

I thought you meant Tren, Test, or Anababol, for a second

[ - ] PrincessRobotBubblegum 2 points 5 monthsJan 3, 2024 08:48:53 ago (+2/-0)

They’ve been scanning m’brain since 1990; but they still ain’t gotta clue!

Black Sabbath -
Fairies Wear Boots
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXqMkqeFQwA&pp

[ - ] AngryWhiteKeyboardWarrior 1 point 4 monthsJan 3, 2024 22:31:03 ago (+1/-0)

Bro, you know they make tinfoil hats specifically for that reason.

[ + ] Anus_Expander

[ - ] Anus_Expander [op] 0 points 4 monthsJan 3, 2024 22:47:25 ago (+0/-0)

Doesn't work for Ka-band freqs

[ - ] NaturalSelectionistWorker 1 point 4 monthsJan 3, 2024 13:28:00 ago (+1/-0)

Satellites or kabbala mystics? The world may never know....

[ - ] deleted 1 point 4 monthsJan 3, 2024 11:03:11 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Weredawg 1 point 5 monthsJan 3, 2024 08:48:39 ago (+1/-0)

I always have a holocaust simulation/denial running in the back of my mind as a defense against psychic attacks by jews. Bet it works on brainwave scanners too.

[ - ] Conspirologist -2 points 5 monthsJan 3, 2024 08:38:10 ago (+3/-5)

Here is an idea, quit alcohol and drugs. And start focusing on what's going on around you in real life.

[ + ] ruck_feddit

[ - ] ruck_feddit 6 points 5 monthsJan 3, 2024 09:53:11 ago (+6/-0)

Here's a better idea: kill yourself so we can stop downvoting all your spamfaggotry, nigger.

[ + ] Anus_Expander

[ - ] Anus_Expander [op] 0 points 4 monthsJan 3, 2024 14:57:01 ago (+0/-0)

In the last 6 months I may have had 4 beers but YES

Sign into an existing account

I'm pretty sure Mossad spy satellites are scanning my brain waves submitted by Anus_Expander to whatever 5 monthsJan 3, 2024 08:26:03 ago (+9/-0) (whatever)

I'm pretty sure Mossad spy satellites are scanning my brain waves
submitted by Anus_Expander to whatever 5 monthsJan 3, 2024 08:26:03 ago (+9/-0) (whatever)