Every man alive needs to have a “fuck you” fund. Even if it means a firing or a divorce. A man needs the ability to say fuck you and walk off. That takes money. Even if you are gainfully employed or happily married, you need funds to stay free. If you have an escape plan, you will function better in a marriage or at a job. If you have an out a real man will work harder to make it work. You’re there because you want to be there. When your employer knows you can just leave, or your wife knows you’ll just bounce, they will treat you with respect. And you’ll stay and work harder at it. Gentleman have a “fuck you” fund. Work hard at not needing it.
If you believe OP, that seems beyond her capability. Kids can be damaged beyond repair by horrible parents. To be fair though, OP also got wrecked, according to his last/other post. If they do stay together, they should probably never bring children into that situation.
I second this. It’s a bit childish and bitchy to say, “I refuse your gift if you’re going to manipulate and extort me.” You should’ve just taken the gift and not used it. It sounds to me like you’re just at her level, leveraging drama with drama. You didn’t bring the shit up to your wife, as everyone suggested in your last “rant” post, but instead acted like a petulant child.
Fair enough. Upvoat for you. I sincerely apologize for being offensive. My advice came from a bad place and I hope you decide to keep trying with your wife.
How long have they been your inlaws? It took 20 years for the husband to see everything bitched about all of his family from the beginning was true. As @Dock suggested you bite the bullet, play professional and you win ~ish in the end.
This year everyone pissed me off because niggers so when asked what do you want my answer was for all of them to fix their shit. Glorious. I didnt get it of course but the faces they made were gift enough. You should ask for that next year.
Women follow power. Youd have to out-domineer your mother-in-law for your wife which would probably mean violence at this point. Just abandon everyone involved
That's a tough one. Your wife is obviously unduly attached to her mother and she's been behavioralized to listen to her and do what she says. That kind of childhood conditioning is very difficult get through, even if she wants to change it. If you have children, I'd say stay together and try to minimize the damage because I don't think this will ever change. If you don't have children, your life will not get better, so you should discuss this with an attorney before you do anything else.
Hate to say it bro, but you need to have a respectful relation. Ignore it as much as you like. But once you meet the bitch, you'll have to deal with her. And gift her stuff. And talk to her. Because she raised your wife. If you do not even respect that, your inlaws wont respect you neither.
I feel like even if you recorded what was said, with context, your wife still wouldn't understand or believe you. That's the result of narcissist brainwashing. They'll believe that person and nobody else.
My MIL pissed me off a few months ago by saying some snide shit to me for no reason(she's a trouble maker) and I've ignored her ever since. Every time she comes here and tries to talk to me I act like she doesn't exist and she starts crying. When I shut a door on someone its forever. She knew better. She keeps trying to smooth shit over but it won't work. In order to be in my circle all I ask is for people to be decent and no drama.
Sounds like a mess. I've been fortunate to be financially independent my adult life and my parents were never the type to show love through consumerism (besides small stuff like eating out.)
Rejecting gifts with strings attached is a wise move. Perhaps do so a bit more delicately with tact in the future if your marriage matters to you. Women enjoy being tricked with finesse into doing what you want them to do. They rarely respond well to social force.
If I'm being nosey you can tell me to fuckoff, but can I get some clarification on the gift thing? I'm really just sort of curious, how was she trying to manipulate you?
Idk about his case but with mine its used as a peace token or black mail. Everything said or done over the past year is supposed to be forgiven if accepted. As if you're a whore who'll accept the abuse for a fucking trinket.
I told the mother in law that i didn't want gifts from her for Christmas if she was going to use them to manipulate and extort me.
I understand your sentiment, but this was your major mistake. If a woman sees you as a negative influence, she will do ANYTHING to make things worse, so she can rationalize her emotion. You should have told nothing. You can't win with arguments with this woman. An argument is a fuel and she WILL find a way to make it as a fuel for further conflict. Everything is also your fault, always. You can't even tell such things like "I can't say anything, because everything i say will be used against me". Even this sentence will be used against you. Yes, women are that malicious.
Why don't you have a serious talk with your wife about how fucked in the head her mother is and you guys need to move away from her before she destroys your marriage?
Women don't typically think for themselves like men do. They find a leader to think for them, sometimes it's the collective paradigm of a peer group, sometimes it's a mother or sister or best friend, it's SUPPOSED to be a husband with the support of a non-bullshit church that is lead by a man who isn't afraid to tell women what God demands of them. Which includes honoring and obeying her husband and not listening to dumb bitches trying to ruin her life.
If you'd had her in a good independent baptist church she'd have been taught by now to follow her husband and cut off ties with her old family if they created problems in your marriage.
If kids then.., well, try cooling things off for a bit while you develop your battle plan.., do not go into that situation unarmed,, lawyer can offer decent advice if you can afford it.
Again.., if no kids…., burn the relationship to the ground faster than she can whip out a tissue…, thank me later
[ + ] Anus_Expander
[ - ] Anus_Expander 20 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 13:49:46 ago (+20/-0)
[ + ] the_old_ones
[ - ] the_old_ones 10 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 15:38:32 ago (+10/-0)
[ + ] Portmanure
[ - ] Portmanure 0 points 4 monthsDec 30, 2023 15:00:41 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Nosferatjew
[ - ] Nosferatjew 18 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 14:05:41 ago (+18/-0)
[ + ] Clubberlang
[ - ] Clubberlang 2 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 19:47:24 ago (+2/-0)
You don't want to ring in the new year dead do you?
Make the booster her new years resolution.
We're all in this together apart.
[ + ]deleted
[ - ] deleted 8 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 13:33:51 ago (+8/-0)*
[ + ] Sector2
[ - ] Sector2 10 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 14:04:27 ago (+10/-0)
[ + ] Love240
[ - ] Love240 3 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 14:17:31 ago (+4/-1)
[ + ] Sector2
[ - ] Sector2 5 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 15:14:44 ago (+5/-0)
[ + ] Love240
[ - ] Love240 4 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 16:36:12 ago (+4/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 0 points 4 monthsDec 30, 2023 14:51:14 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Love240
[ - ] Love240 0 points 4 monthsDec 30, 2023 18:58:51 ago (+0/-0)
It really hurts to hear that, my condolences. May God be with you on this.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 3 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 18:27:11 ago (+3/-0)
[ + ] Love240
[ - ] Love240 3 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 18:51:13 ago (+3/-0)
[ + ] dingbat
[ - ] dingbat 4 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 16:28:00 ago (+8/-4)*
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 6 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 19:25:55 ago (+6/-0)
[ + ] dingbat
[ - ] dingbat 5 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 20:16:14 ago (+5/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 0 points 4 monthsDec 30, 2023 14:52:45 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] TheNoticing
[ - ] TheNoticing 1 point 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 19:17:42 ago (+1/-0)
My father was a narcissist, he died almost 4 years ago. I don't miss him anymore. I see it as my primary abuser can't hurt me anymore.
Narcissists are fucking evil.
[ + ] TheNoticing
[ - ] TheNoticing 0 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 19:14:58 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 1 point 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 19:18:52 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] TheNoticing
[ - ] TheNoticing 0 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 19:21:06 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 0 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 19:21:20 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Looneyskiproony
[ - ] Looneyskiproony 1 point 4 monthsDec 28, 2023 04:44:58 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 0 points 4 monthsDec 30, 2023 14:55:18 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Gowithit
[ - ] Gowithit 7 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 13:43:35 ago (+7/-0)
This year everyone pissed me off because niggers so when asked what do you want my answer was for all of them to fix their shit. Glorious. I didnt get it of course but the faces they made were gift enough. You should ask for that next year.
Do you guys have kids?
[ + ] iSnark
[ - ] iSnark 3 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 13:50:05 ago (+3/-0)
Wondered where you were hiding...
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 0 points 4 monthsDec 29, 2023 23:41:51 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] ModernGuilt
[ - ] ModernGuilt 6 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 15:29:34 ago (+7/-1)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 2 points 4 monthsDec 29, 2023 23:44:17 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] TheNoticing
[ - ] TheNoticing 1 point 4 monthsDec 30, 2023 13:14:05 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] ModernGuilt
[ - ] ModernGuilt 0 points 4 monthsDec 30, 2023 16:24:03 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ]deleted
[ - ] deleted 4 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 16:59:08 ago (+4/-0)
[ + ] Clubberlang
[ - ] Clubberlang 2 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 19:51:34 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] Lost_In_The_Thinking
[ - ] Lost_In_The_Thinking 4 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 14:10:47 ago (+4/-0)
[ + ] Cantaloupe
[ - ] Cantaloupe 3 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 16:41:24 ago (+3/-0)
[ + ] Thyhorrorcosmic103
[ - ] Thyhorrorcosmic103 3 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 16:33:45 ago (+4/-1)
[ + ] Razzoriel
[ - ] Razzoriel 3 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 15:46:29 ago (+4/-1)
[ + ] TheNoticing
[ - ] TheNoticing 0 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 19:19:17 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 1 point 4 monthsDec 29, 2023 23:47:52 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] TheNoticing
[ - ] TheNoticing 0 points 4 monthsDec 30, 2023 13:09:37 ago (+0/-0)
I fear your marriage might be over at this point.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 0 points 4 monthsDec 30, 2023 14:59:32 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Sector2
[ - ] Sector2 3 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 14:03:02 ago (+3/-0)
[ + ] FacelessOne
[ - ] FacelessOne 3 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 13:30:40 ago (+3/-0)
[ + ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic
[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 2 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 20:44:28 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] Peleg
[ - ] Peleg 2 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 17:43:02 ago (+2/-0)
Between now and when you get divorced see if you can figure out who it is.
[ + ] HeyJames
[ - ] HeyJames 2 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 17:05:52 ago (+2/-0)
Rejecting gifts with strings attached is a wise move. Perhaps do so a bit more delicately with tact in the future if your marriage matters to you. Women enjoy being tricked with finesse into doing what you want them to do. They rarely respond well to social force.
[ + ]deleted
[ - ] deleted 2 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 16:53:10 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] H8Texpress
[ - ] H8Texpress 2 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 15:03:18 ago (+4/-2)
[ + ] TheViciousMrPim
[ - ] TheViciousMrPim 2 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 13:47:53 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] Gowithit
[ - ] Gowithit 8 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 14:28:40 ago (+8/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 1 point 4 monthsDec 29, 2023 23:54:29 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] albatrosv15
[ - ] albatrosv15 1 point 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 18:05:19 ago (+1/-0)
You can't even tell such things like "I can't say anything, because everything i say will be used against me". Even this sentence will be used against you.
Yes, women are that malicious.
[ + ] CoronaHoax
[ - ] CoronaHoax 1 point 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 16:06:00 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] 1point21jiggawatts
[ - ] 1point21jiggawatts 0 points 4 monthsDec 28, 2023 02:15:06 ago (+0/-0)*
Women don't typically think for themselves like men do. They find a leader to think for them, sometimes it's the collective paradigm of a peer group, sometimes it's a mother or sister or best friend, it's SUPPOSED to be a husband with the support of a non-bullshit church that is lead by a man who isn't afraid to tell women what God demands of them. Which includes honoring and obeying her husband and not listening to dumb bitches trying to ruin her life.
If you'd had her in a good independent baptist church she'd have been taught by now to follow her husband and cut off ties with her old family if they created problems in your marriage.
Get your shit together bro.
[ + ]deleted
[ - ] deleted 0 points 4 monthsDec 28, 2023 02:11:58 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] SumerBreeze
[ - ] SumerBreeze 0 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 21:49:56 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 0 points 4 monthsDec 30, 2023 15:01:02 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] TheNoticing
[ - ] TheNoticing 0 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 19:11:46 ago (+0/-0)
Always recon the mother: https://youtu.be/HqsHKFZ4t8s
[ + ] Deplorablepoetry
[ - ] Deplorablepoetry 0 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 18:05:42 ago (+1/-1)
If no kids fuck them both
If kids then.., well, try cooling things off for a bit while you develop your battle plan.., do not go into that situation unarmed,, lawyer can offer decent advice if you can afford it.
Again.., if no kids…., burn the relationship to the ground faster than she can whip out a tissue…, thank me later
[ + ] John_doe
[ - ] John_doe 0 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 16:46:24 ago (+1/-1)
[ + ] Laputois
[ - ] Laputois -2 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 19:09:27 ago (+0/-2)
[ + ] TheNoticing
[ - ] TheNoticing 0 points 4 monthsDec 27, 2023 19:22:57 ago (+0/-0)