It's been 20 some years. The disappearance of other humans during the covid hoax was a great reminder of how wonderful being alone is. Consider feeling that way a danger of stepping back too far from society to an objective perspective.
I’m very sorry. I think about this sometimes and what I would do if I became a widow. I am an introvert, have extreme political views obviously, and am not interested in casual sex. The thought of trying to date again in this current environment gives me chills. I can see myself just turning into a complete hermit.
I’m not sure what your religious views are but have you tried to meet people in a church or social setting like that? Maybe a support group for grieving people? Even us introverts need that human companionship and communication.
It was a divorce I ended up surviving, although it was close.
Men's value increases with age. For every older widower there are 30 widows.
Have to be careful to only talk with females more than a thousand or few miles away. They literally want to meet if they're within range. Helps to have major red flags too, as a good deal-killer can help prevent a relapse.
I'm still single because no level of happiness is worth that level of risk. Same reason I don't buy lottery tickets. The idea is nice though, and I'm happy that it works for some people.
[ - ] Sector2 1 point 4 monthsDec 3, 2023 10:41:32 ago (+1/-0)
It would be hard to turn me into a peninsula.
Seriously though, I never grew out of wanting physical attractiveness in a potential mate, but they're all kids to me now. That would have to be some amazing woman.
try finding one that isn't jewed totally up and is traditional
Ever heard of the NIFB churches?
They are basically traditional independent baptists but they don't fall for the Zionist bullcrap or other major fake doctrines the synagogue have tricked most churches into accepting.
Depends on people, some tolerate loneliness better than others but it will take a toll eventually, no matter the reasons behind it.
Did you decide to remain celibate for other reasons besides taking the time to mourn?
Are you afraid to get close again and wish to avoid the experience a another traumatic loss?
Whatever the reasons are for a relationship to cease, it comes with emotional trauma that must be managed & eventually put behind you or it will simply become a negative state of mind that binds you to the past... the sad reality is that the older we get, the harder it is to meet people who don't carry a ton of baggage and developing strong bonds also becomes more challenging.
Are you holding on to nostalgia because it's the happiest you've ever been? Life is both beautiful & full of curveballs, be thankful for everything you have and open yourself to new horizons. It's ok to dream of a happy life with someone else, just don't rush into anything, build up relationships slowly.
Seems as if she's had good people around her that havent taken advantage. Thats a huge head start. I've known women who lost their husbands and have a new man before the first year. Then later say how they regret moving on so quickly. They werent ready.
Other widows gang up and encourage the rushing but thats been chalked up to "misey loves company".
That's a positive outlook I can't disagree with, I do hope she's well surrounded.
It's the same with lots of guys "Just go get laid, get over it" or "Just go out and have fun, you'll forget about her pretty quick." Worst possible advice...
The Harley is coming back this week. The walking boot/cast goes on this week. Ive been working out. I do occasionally feel lonely. But only momentarily. It passes quickly. maybe I'll start looking around. It would be nice to be with a woman again. as long as I still live alone. with my cat.
Took me about 7 years to truly get over the cancer loss of a girl I loved.
Just remind yourself that if they were a good person they would want you to find another and also if you aren't living life to the fullest then you are betraying all those who have died and can't.
So stop betraying the dead and wallowing and get back to living life to the fullest.
It's hard but look at it that way.
Your pining away is an insult to the dead who can't live.
So take that as your mantra and your reason to leave the dead behind. You aren't betraying them by moving on. You are honoring them.
You have my condolences. I don't think your late wife would want you to live the rest of your life in mourning. If she truly loved you, then she would definitely want you to be happy. I know I am speaking from ignorance, as I have not experienced what you have gone through, but you need to get up and find life again. Join a gym and take classes and make friends and get out and do things with others. Hanging out at the fire with a beer is ok, but not if you are going to wallow in guilt or unhappiness. You just need to start doing things and interacting with people.
[ - ] Panic 1 point 4 monthsDec 3, 2023 04:10:45 ago (+1/-0)
I'm a senior and remarried once. Second wife was the Denny's restaurant manager when I got snowed in at Chicago as a trucker. She made me the offer I can't refuse, so I quit trucking and moved in. Been married now for 26 years.
Here's where it gets good. Five years ago, I had the massive heart attack everybody does in my family. We all know it's coming and we always do the sensible thing: We go home, settle our affairs and wait for the second, final heart attack. But being married to a Chicago Pollack, they have funny ideas, like: Go have surgery and stick around. Hmmm, never occurred to me. So quadruple surgery and slow recovery, but here I am. She was right there doing all the needful things the whole time. Without my wonderful wife, I'd be done and gone.
Finding a good person for a companion is a wonderful thing. And now in retirement, we're planning the big trip across and around the country. I've seen it all trucking but was always in a hurry. This will be a blast.
And FWIW, My life saving wife was married twice before and had grown kids (3) when we met. All the young fellows here demanding virginity over quality are missing out. Good people are just good people and I got lucky and married one. She saved my life and we are both healthy and happy.
Where to meet good people? Denny's restaurant works for me! I hit a Grand Slam.
Perhaps consider what he would tell you. The dark months tend to have an impact.
To lift your mood you may try taking walks in nature, the light is especially nice if the sun is low illuminating a hillside with dark skies behind. Chamomile is nice too.
It's helpful too if you find a repeated social context, a place you can repeatedly meet with the same people.
Although some really enjoy solitude, sometimes it's nice to enjoy solitude with someone close.
Is the plan to just look for a romantic interest, or do you have friends who can make some fun times happen?
Planning a big move can help...forcing yourself into social situations.
Uncertain if dating apps are of any interest, but I did meet my wife on Match about a decade ago. Can't attest to any of the modern apps and what sort of prizes are on there nowadays.
The best question: are you ok existing independently or do you really want to find another someone special?
[ - ] DoughGoy 1 point 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 13:49:49 ago (+1/-0)
What do you mean about being alone? Do you mean being single, or alone from family and friends?
I've been divorced and single for a few years now, and very happy. I already have kids though, so that makes it easier. If you don't have kids yet, I would say get out there and make some.
[ + ]deleted
[ - ] deleted 10 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 08:19:51 ago (+10/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 6 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 08:48:55 ago (+6/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 5 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 10:45:00 ago (+5/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 3 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 10:53:29 ago (+3/-0)
[ + ] bobdole9
[ - ] bobdole9 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 11:32:09 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] BoraxTheFungarian
[ - ] BoraxTheFungarian 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 15:24:20 ago (+2/-0)
Bad practice approaches imperfect.
[ + ] Indoctrinated_USA
[ - ] Indoctrinated_USA 1 point 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 17:04:28 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Sector2
[ - ] Sector2 4 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 10:48:08 ago (+4/-0)
It's been 20 some years. The disappearance of other humans during the covid hoax was a great reminder of how wonderful being alone is. Consider feeling that way a danger of stepping back too far from society to an objective perspective.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 5 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 10:51:31 ago (+5/-0)
[ + ] Sector2
[ - ] Sector2 6 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 11:15:33 ago (+6/-0)
[ + ] albatrosv15
[ - ] albatrosv15 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 11:36:20 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 4 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 12:22:05 ago (+4/-0)
[ + ] albatrosv15
[ - ] albatrosv15 0 points 4 monthsDec 4, 2023 16:29:42 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] PhantomXLII
[ - ] PhantomXLII 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 13:52:32 ago (+2/-0)
😶
Well...
[ + ] WNwoman
[ - ] WNwoman 9 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 09:36:00 ago (+9/-0)
I’m not sure what your religious views are but have you tried to meet people in a church or social setting like that? Maybe a support group for grieving people? Even us introverts need that human companionship and communication.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 7 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 10:42:26 ago (+7/-0)*
[ + ] Sector2
[ - ] Sector2 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 12:37:49 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 3 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 12:42:38 ago (+3/-0)
[ + ] Sector2
[ - ] Sector2 4 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 14:04:04 ago (+4/-0)
Have to be careful to only talk with females more than a thousand or few miles away. They literally want to meet if they're within range. Helps to have major red flags too, as a good deal-killer can help prevent a relapse.
I'm still single because no level of happiness is worth that level of risk. Same reason I don't buy lottery tickets. The idea is nice though, and I'm happy that it works for some people.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 15:25:38 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] Sector2
[ - ] Sector2 1 point 4 monthsDec 3, 2023 10:41:32 ago (+1/-0)
Seriously though, I never grew out of wanting physical attractiveness in a potential mate, but they're all kids to me now. That would have to be some amazing woman.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 1 point 4 monthsDec 3, 2023 11:07:15 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] 1point21jiggawatts
[ - ] 1point21jiggawatts 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 13:26:58 ago (+2/-0)
Ever heard of the NIFB churches?
They are basically traditional independent baptists but they don't fall for the Zionist bullcrap or other major fake doctrines the synagogue have tricked most churches into accepting.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 1 point 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 13:33:11 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] PhantomXLII
[ - ] PhantomXLII 0 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 13:55:04 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Belfuro
[ - ] Belfuro 1 point 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 16:43:01 ago (+1/-0)
If I lose my wife, I'll be alone for the rest of my life.
What scares me even more is that my relationship with my daughters is through my wife.
She is the social one
[ + ] beece
[ - ] beece 6 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 09:45:58 ago (+6/-0)
[ + ] Rotteuxx
[ - ] Rotteuxx 5 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 08:45:58 ago (+5/-0)
Did you decide to remain celibate for other reasons besides taking the time to mourn?
Are you afraid to get close again and wish to avoid the experience a another traumatic loss?
Whatever the reasons are for a relationship to cease, it comes with emotional trauma that must be managed & eventually put behind you or it will simply become a negative state of mind that binds you to the past... the sad reality is that the older we get, the harder it is to meet people who don't carry a ton of baggage and developing strong bonds also becomes more challenging.
Are you holding on to nostalgia because it's the happiest you've ever been? Life is both beautiful & full of curveballs, be thankful for everything you have and open yourself to new horizons. It's ok to dream of a happy life with someone else, just don't rush into anything, build up relationships slowly.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 6 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 08:50:02 ago (+6/-0)
[ + ] Rotteuxx
[ - ] Rotteuxx 3 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 09:05:47 ago (+3/-0)
DO NOT LIVE IN THE PAST
Cherish good memories and work on making new ones... none of that is supposed to be easy but you got this! Baby steps.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 10:48:32 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] Gowithit
[ - ] Gowithit 4 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 09:08:40 ago (+4/-0)
Other widows gang up and encourage the rushing but thats been chalked up to "misey loves company".
[ + ] Rotteuxx
[ - ] Rotteuxx 6 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 09:42:05 ago (+6/-0)
It's the same with lots of guys "Just go get laid, get over it" or "Just go out and have fun, you'll forget about her pretty quick." Worst possible advice...
[ + ] con77
[ - ] con77 4 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 11:40:52 ago (+4/-0)
The worst part is the occasional dream
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 3 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 11:58:42 ago (+3/-0)
[ + ] Clubberlang
[ - ] Clubberlang 3 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 19:50:12 ago (+3/-0)
That rules me out.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 21:43:19 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] con77
[ - ] con77 1 point 4 monthsDec 3, 2023 16:05:08 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 0 points 4 monthsDec 3, 2023 16:12:42 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Clubberlang
[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 4 monthsDec 3, 2023 21:11:23 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 0 points 4 monthsDec 4, 2023 09:52:02 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] con77
[ - ] con77 2 points 4 monthsDec 3, 2023 16:01:38 ago (+2/-0)
BTW I only wear expensive cologne.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 1 point 4 monthsDec 4, 2023 02:21:21 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] herbert_west
[ - ] herbert_west 4 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 08:38:20 ago (+4/-0)
[ + ] GrayDragon
[ - ] GrayDragon 4 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 08:36:58 ago (+4/-0)
I don't think he liked his results initially.
E: Heh, me and my sister didn't like his initial results.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 4 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 08:56:47 ago (+4/-0)
[ + ] Crackinjokes
[ - ] Crackinjokes 3 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 10:56:03 ago (+3/-0)
Just remind yourself that if they were a good person they would want you to find another and also if you aren't living life to the fullest then you are betraying all those who have died and can't.
So stop betraying the dead and wallowing and get back to living life to the fullest.
It's hard but look at it that way.
Your pining away is an insult to the dead who can't live.
So take that as your mantra and your reason to leave the dead behind. You aren't betraying them by moving on. You are honoring them.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 11:06:06 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] AugustineOfHippo2
[ - ] AugustineOfHippo2 3 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 08:35:22 ago (+3/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 6 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 08:47:58 ago (+6/-0)
[ + ] Gowithit
[ - ] Gowithit 4 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 09:16:58 ago (+4/-0)
Always assume its a come on. Always. men have no reason to talk to a woman unless its to come on to them.
Im sorry you have been going through this for so long and even at all. I hope you find someone who allows you to be vulnerable.
[ + ] Sector2
[ - ] Sector2 6 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 11:00:25 ago (+6/-0)
"Yes, I do want it to go. Thanks."
[ + ] Gowithit
[ - ] Gowithit 3 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 11:04:49 ago (+3/-0)
Thats a lot of words. mmhmm, yep, or a nod. Oh and dont smile. A smile is equivalent to a marriage proposal.
[ + ] Sector2
[ - ] Sector2 4 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 11:39:12 ago (+4/-0)
[ + ] Gowithit
[ - ] Gowithit 3 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 12:08:55 ago (+3/-0)
[ + ] Sector2
[ - ] Sector2 4 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 12:24:54 ago (+4/-0)
[ + ] Sector2
[ - ] Sector2 4 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 10:57:20 ago (+4/-0)
[ + ] BoraxTheFungarian
[ - ] BoraxTheFungarian 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 15:22:51 ago (+2/-0)
I’m on the fence of if we’re never alone or always alone in our subjective experience.
I guess we’re connected by something that we can scarcely put into words…
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 15:37:58 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] big_fat_dangus
[ - ] big_fat_dangus 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 14:04:27 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 0 points 4 monthsDec 4, 2023 02:25:01 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Panic
[ - ] Panic 1 point 4 monthsDec 3, 2023 04:10:45 ago (+1/-0)
Here's where it gets good. Five years ago, I had the massive heart attack everybody does in my family. We all know it's coming and we always do the sensible thing: We go home, settle our affairs and wait for the second, final heart attack. But being married to a Chicago Pollack, they have funny ideas, like: Go have surgery and stick around. Hmmm, never occurred to me. So quadruple surgery and slow recovery, but here I am. She was right there doing all the needful things the whole time. Without my wonderful wife, I'd be done and gone.
Finding a good person for a companion is a wonderful thing. And now in retirement, we're planning the big trip across and around the country. I've seen it all trucking but was always in a hurry. This will be a blast.
And FWIW, My life saving wife was married twice before and had grown kids (3) when we met. All the young fellows here demanding virginity over quality are missing out. Good people are just good people and I got lucky and married one. She saved my life and we are both healthy and happy.
Where to meet good people? Denny's restaurant works for me! I hit a Grand Slam.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 1 point 4 monthsDec 3, 2023 05:35:55 ago (+1/-0)*
[ + ] Cantaloupe
[ - ] Cantaloupe 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 12:52:28 ago (+2/-0)
To lift your mood you may try taking walks in nature, the light is especially nice if the sun is low illuminating a hillside with dark skies behind. Chamomile is nice too.
It's helpful too if you find a repeated social context, a place you can repeatedly meet with the same people.
Although some really enjoy solitude, sometimes it's nice to enjoy solitude with someone close.
Praying for you.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 13:27:02 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] KosherHiveKicker
[ - ] KosherHiveKicker 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 11:55:28 ago (+2/-0)
For example: Find a large public gun club, or shooting range. Work on both your aim, and breaking the rust of off your social skills at the same time.
Just put some thought into it, and you can do it.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 1 point 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 12:03:34 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Gowithit
[ - ] Gowithit 1 point 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 12:07:44 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 12:25:39 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] Gowithit
[ - ] Gowithit 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 12:39:41 ago (+2/-0)
I have learned the wall does not exist.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 12:44:53 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] bobdole9
[ - ] bobdole9 2 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 11:31:29 ago (+2/-0)
Planning a big move can help...forcing yourself into social situations.
Uncertain if dating apps are of any interest, but I did meet my wife on Match about a decade ago. Can't attest to any of the modern apps and what sort of prizes are on there nowadays.
The best question: are you ok existing independently or do you really want to find another someone special?
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 3 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 11:54:37 ago (+3/-0)
[ + ] bobdole9
[ - ] bobdole9 0 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 13:54:21 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 1 point 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 15:44:58 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Clubberlang
[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 19:48:33 ago (+1/-0)
Be around friends and family.
Get a hobby or hobbies.
Sometimes being on your own is better than being around people that don't share your interests.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 1 point 4 monthsDec 3, 2023 06:30:04 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] DoughGoy
[ - ] DoughGoy 1 point 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 13:49:49 ago (+1/-0)
I've been divorced and single for a few years now, and very happy. I already have kids though, so that makes it easier.
If you don't have kids yet, I would say get out there and make some.
[ + ] Sleazy
[ - ] Sleazy 1 point 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 10:35:18 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic
[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 0 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 12:02:12 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 3 points 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 12:06:57 ago (+3/-0)
[ + ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic
[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 1 point 4 monthsDec 2, 2023 18:42:37 ago (+1/-0)