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11

Fuck. What the fuck man.

submitted by PeckerwoodPerry to whatever 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 04:01:17 ago (+14/-3)     (whatever)

Fuckin cunt hair near fuckin four am and I wake up from having dreams about being at fuckin work and I go out to smoke a smoke and there's a god damn possum licking clean an empty can of fuckin catfood on my back porch. Cue me yelling "go on, go on git" at some poor fucker, while wearing naught but a fuckin blanket around my waist and I hear the fuckin elderly neighbor ask me if everything is ok. What the fuckin fuck man? I just wanted a got damn cigarette, for fucks sake. Shit god damn. Fuck.


26 comments block

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[ - ] Kozel 5 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 04:50:09 ago (+5/-0)

leave possum alone possum did nothing wrong

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 2 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 05:02:05 ago (+2/-0)

Well shit, I can't have the fucker eating off my back porch. I smoke cigarettes where it was munching and I ain't in the mood to make friends barefoot and functionally naked. I like possums, I really do. Those fuckers have softer fur than cats. I just need my smoke space clear but for anything larger than a toad.

[ - ] Peleg 3 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 14:43:53 ago (+3/-0)

Well for your information the possum was barefoot and functionally as naked as you were.

[ - ] SirNiggsalot 4 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 06:49:19 ago (+4/-0)

Always some fucking thing

[ - ] purityspiral 3 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 09:53:47 ago (+3/-0)

we live too close together.

worker bees get no rest and the drones use us for entertainment.
Adult males need space. NEED. It's not a want, it's a need.

I will save you a space in the mountains.
Not too fucking close though.

and If i hear one more fucking four wheeler in my front drive....

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 12:23:00 ago (+0/-0)

Been burning the candle at both ends. I'll take you up on that space in the mountains. I could use the rest.

[ - ] boekanier 3 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 04:16:50 ago (+3/-0)

yes, I would complain too if I were in your shoes

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 3 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 04:36:16 ago (+3/-0)

It's been a long week. I've worked the past six days. Last night was a fuckin banger. I'm just trying to rest and I can't even escape work sleeping. I'd think I was losing my mind if I was under the impression that there was any left to lose.

[ - ] ItsOk2bArian 1 point 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 12:51:05 ago (+1/-0)

If you can't piss off the patio, your neighbors are to close

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 0 points 6 monthsOct 31, 2023 12:36:17 ago (+0/-0)

She was concerned. Be nice.

[ - ] deleted 1 point 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 09:06:25 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 12:31:02 ago (+0/-0)

Yeah, you said it.

[ - ] GrayDragon 1 point 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 06:06:53 ago (+1/-0)

hic is fucking every fucking thing fucking okay?

[ - ] dulcima 1 point 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 05:38:51 ago (+1/-0)

Well, fuck it all.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 05:42:48 ago (+0/-0)

Yeah. I am frustrated and perturbed.

[ - ] Outlaw_Aryan 2 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 08:49:43 ago (+2/-0)

Quit the smokes man you'll get a much better night's sleep. Seriously.

[ - ] JudyStroyer 2 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 09:37:38 ago (+2/-0)

I never knew what a panic attack was until 3 months after quitting smoking. It’s been 15 years since I quit. Best decision I’ve ever made.

[ - ] Smedleys_Butler 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 22:16:43 ago (+0/-0)

At least you didn't bump your toe. Possum skull is pretty damn tough

[ - ] NamelessOne 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 13:51:51 ago (+0/-0)

I hope someone calls you repeatedly while you're having dinner and tells you to fuck off.

[ - ] bobdole9 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 11:00:09 ago (+0/-0)*

You didn't shoot it?

Edit: and wtf was old man doing up at 4am? Hope he's a night owl.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 2 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 12:19:51 ago (+2/-0)

Nope, I usually don't carry when I'm wearing a blanket. I don't know what that fuckin old timer was doing, but I hear him yelling at wildlife all the time. Maybe he thinks we're kindred.

[ - ] bobdole9 1 point 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 13:42:14 ago (+1/-0)

Sounds like you need a backdoor shotgun...it usually compliments the front door shotgun, but not always.

[ - ] cb1 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 06:20:55 ago (+1/-1)

Ought to switch to vaping so you at least don't have to go outside at 4am.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry [op] 2 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 12:21:28 ago (+2/-0)

Hard pass on the douche flute. Anyway, I like going outside at 4am. It's usually quiet.

[ - ] Gowithit 0 points 6 monthsOct 30, 2023 13:54:59 ago (+0/-0)

@GrayDragon

douche flute. ha.