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33

I've got to stop feeding this fat fuck.

submitted by gaperglory to Nature 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 15:38:58 ago (+34/-1)     (files.catbox.moe)

https://files.catbox.moe/hu8fxt.jpg

This Is after his mantis meal and he's got a grasshopper on deck...
I can't help but wonder how much longer I'll feed her before I shoot her with a bb gun (I'd never actually do that, but my instinct is to kill spiders). Been feeding Freddy for almost a month now and now there's a giant eggsack. I guess that's good?


38 comments block

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[ - ] dulcima 5 points 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 17:44:59 ago (+5/-0)

Where's the father? What a nigger.

[ - ] Peleg 4 points 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 18:32:09 ago (+4/-0)

She ATE Him!

[ - ] Fascinus 2 points 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 20:46:11 ago (+2/-0)

If only sheboons would do that.

[ - ] Hand_Of_Node 2 points 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 17:47:52 ago (+2/-0)*

Airsoft is excellent for unwanted spiders and horseflies. But these are good spiders, provided you're not walking into their webs in low light conditions and getting them on your neck.

[ - ] watts2db 4 points 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 18:43:16 ago (+4/-0)

a few years ago I kept walking into one 3 mornings in a row. Im pretty sure I could hear the faint sound of that little fucker cussing me out after repeatedly and mindlessly destroying its web.

[ - ] Clubberlang 0 points 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 20:43:17 ago (+0/-0)

[ - ] Hand_Of_Node 0 points 7 monthsSep 7, 2023 01:20:47 ago (+0/-0)

Had what felt like a half ouncer on my neck during a dusk walk. There's something about feeling a big spider on your neck that can really highlight how unwanted that experience can be.

[ - ] Hand_Of_Node 0 points 7 monthsSep 7, 2023 01:20:58 ago (+0/-0)

Had what felt like a half ouncer on my neck during a dusk walk. There's something about feeling a big spider on your neck that can really highlight how unwanted that experience can be.

[ - ] watts2db 1 point 7 monthsSep 14, 2023 16:46:21 ago (+1/-0)

I bet!

[ - ] Not_a_redfugee 2 points 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 16:21:36 ago (+2/-0)

Nice garden. Weeds overtook mine because im a shitty gardener..

[ - ] gaperglory [op] 1 point 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 16:46:37 ago (+1/-0)

Mulch...

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 2 points 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 15:55:14 ago (+2/-0)

Damn, that bitch got a dump truck.

[ - ] aldecal 1 point 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 19:35:21 ago (+1/-0)

This kind bite?

[ - ] gaperglory [op] 1 point 7 monthsSep 7, 2023 09:51:10 ago (+1/-0)

No

[ - ] watts2db 1 point 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 18:39:09 ago (+1/-0)

Do spiders get diabetes?

[ - ] Clubberlang 2 points 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 20:46:46 ago (+2/-0)

Only the wilfredbrimleyaraneae.

Most commonly known as the arachnophobeetus

[ - ] Inward 1 point 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 16:35:33 ago (+1/-0)

Freddie for a female? I told you a month ago it was a female.

[ - ] gaperglory [op] 1 point 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 16:40:19 ago (+1/-0)*

I know I named it before I knew. It just stuck...
But yes to your credit u did tell me. Freddy had already been used at that point. Her egg sack is the size of a golf ball
Do they need a male to make the egg sack? How does that work? God I hate spiders... I just love watching her monster ass jump anything that dangles her web.

[ - ] aldecal 1 point 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 19:34:23 ago (+1/-0)

I had a hamster like that when I was a kid. Named it Roger a month before I learned he was a chick.

[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 20:44:43 ago (+1/-0)

Fuckin troon hamsters

[ - ] Inward 1 point 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 19:39:11 ago (+1/-0)

I used to be terrified of spiders, the bigger the more paralyzed I would become. Something happened and I realized one day they don't bother me. There are a couple of exceptions, though.

I think the male finds a female and she lays multiple clutches from the one encounter. Yours should keep laying eggsacks until a frost. They will not hatch until Spring at which point they hunt and kill the nearest human male. Just kidding.

[ - ] BoozyB 1 point 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 23:08:29 ago (+1/-0)

Short for Frederika. Or Freda.

[ - ] Clubberlang 0 points 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 20:44:07 ago (+0/-0)

Fredreeshakeesah

[ - ] purityspiral 0 points 7 monthsSep 7, 2023 03:25:41 ago (+0/-0)

Dude when they find your body, it will be the stuff urban legends are made of.

[ - ] The_Reunto 0 points 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 22:04:45 ago (+0/-0)

This generation, I tell ya. All they do is hang around and surf the web.

[ - ] PhantomXLII 0 points 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 21:59:54 ago (+0/-0)

Hmmm...

1 story ranch style house that's about 1300 square feet with maybe a 2 car garage on an oversized lot.

And one bananer.

[ - ] bobdole9 0 points 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 19:55:16 ago (+0/-0)

I have a good 9-12 of these things on my new Georgia house. Hoping a leaf blower will provide adequate persuasion for them to fuck off elsewhere.

[ - ] MuricaPersonified 1 point 7 monthsSep 7, 2023 06:46:04 ago (+1/-0)

Dude, don't. These are beneficial and they are being displaced in our state by a nigger version from Asia colloquially called the "Joro Spider". Kill those.

[ - ] bobdole9 0 points 7 monthsSep 7, 2023 09:10:08 ago (+0/-0)

Is there an idiot's guide to identifying the local bugs? Hope the DNR (or whatever the equivalent is here) has something somewhere.

[ - ] Inward 1 point 7 monthsSep 7, 2023 17:40:07 ago (+1/-0)

If you have Garden Orb Weavers I can narrow down where you live to North America. They are everywhere, even Alaska.

[ - ] bobdole9 0 points 7 monthsSep 8, 2023 08:25:43 ago (+0/-0)

Can confirm I am a Burger, however I am no fan of spiders. Will need to spend some time taking pictures to figure out what exactly I have.

They're bigger bastards than the ones I usually see.

[ - ] MuricaPersonified 1 point 7 monthsSep 7, 2023 20:58:12 ago (+1/-0)*

The Peterson Field Guides are classics, but orb weaver genuses are pretty easy to identify.

Edit: The one I was thinking of wasn't the Peterson one; it was the National Audubon Society.

[ - ] bobdole9 0 points 7 monthsSep 8, 2023 08:27:41 ago (+0/-0)

Kids and I will have fun learning about these spiders. I hope there aren't any sneaky bastards where "these two look identical, but this one with this one extra dot is poisonous"...that's unfun.

[ - ] NukeAmerica 0 points 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 19:37:39 ago (+0/-0)

I fucking hate banana spiders!

[ - ] MuricaPersonified 0 points 7 monthsSep 7, 2023 06:53:57 ago (+0/-0)

"Banana spiders", or "Golden Orb Weaver" is different. Those are of the genus Nephila. They're huge, breed like fucking crazy, and like to attach themselves to the faces of unsuspecting trail joggers (ask how I know). Those indeed suck.

OP's orb weaver is from the genus Agriope. They are more delicate, less prolific, and you should be lucky to have them on your property.

[ - ] NukeAmerica 0 points 7 monthsSep 7, 2023 11:08:44 ago (+0/-0)

They look similar enough, so im going to destroy it if i see it! Wolf spiders are cool though.

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 0 points 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 17:22:01 ago (+0/-0)

You need to spray those weeds too.

[ - ] Clubberlang 0 points 7 monthsSep 6, 2023 20:48:50 ago (+0/-0)

Skeet skeet weeds!