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Satan arrives at the gates of hell to welcome a new damned soul: "Congratulations!", he says, "You wasted your entire pitiful life!"

submitted by Centaurus to religion 10 monthsJun 23, 2023 20:21:36 ago (+31/-0)     (religion)

"Well," the man replies, "at least I'm not an adult living in my father's basement."


16 comments block

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[ - ] GreenSaint 9 points 10 monthsJun 23, 2023 21:46:40 ago (+9/-0)

Iv known one guy my entire life who I would consider a full Christian. This guy was like the perfect person. So nice. So calm so respectful. Really lived it. I mean I got some family members but none of them were like this guy. He ended up marrying the smartest nicest blonde girl at our school and having a bunch of smart blonde babies

[ - ] Leveraction 3 points 10 monthsJun 23, 2023 22:28:20 ago (+3/-0)

Great story Greensaint! Thank you.
A good guy finally wins.

[ - ] VitaminSieg 1 point 10 monthsJun 23, 2023 22:53:14 ago (+3/-2)

And then everybody clapped

[ - ] GreenSaint 2 points 10 monthsJun 24, 2023 00:46:24 ago (+2/-0)*

I just always thought of this guy growing up that if there was such a thing as a Christian and it was something to be emulated, this guy was doing it. I also remember wrestling him in highschool and thinking wow push ups got this dude jacked. He was in the band and they did a lot of push ups. I was good friends with his cousin who was less Christian like. We were committing crimes and vetting high together. He’s dead now. Recently died in a car accident

[ - ] PrincessRobotBubblegum 3 points 10 monthsJun 23, 2023 23:36:20 ago (+3/-0)

Even Ophite Gnostics & Luciferians do not maintain that Satan is the Son of God; nor did Milton in originating Satan as a modern free-thinking hero.

Moreover, the Gates of Hell are not the greeting point between the damned and the Arch-Sodimite Satan, as within a comical mockery of the, already cartoonish Gates of Heaven, whereat those who go there are greeted by (SANTA = SATAN) Peter, employee of King Herod, and the first Antichrist.

Also, it is only Caucasians who have been culturally disallowed from having extended families, as well as dwelling in houses they should inherit, if not forced to move out owing to debt to Jewish bankers; which makes this joke particularly not only Anti-Christian but racist.

Apologies if overly edgy.

Watching baseball.

Peevish.

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens 1 point 10 monthsJun 24, 2023 02:46:26 ago (+1/-0)

Sick BURN

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens 1 point 10 monthsJun 24, 2023 02:41:28 ago (+1/-0)

Sick BURN

[ - ] IdlyDyiny 1 point 10 monthsJun 23, 2023 21:44:28 ago (+2/-1)

You're going to he'll for not being a good goyim sheep

[ - ] Centaurus [op] 5 points 10 monthsJun 23, 2023 21:48:11 ago (+5/-0)

He'll no.

[ - ] texasblood -2 points 10 monthsJun 23, 2023 21:02:57 ago (+1/-3)

Just "fucked off" twenty two faggott trolls on Voat.
Back stabbing Alt trolls and their down voting chop blocks.
Aint a jew
Aint a nigger
Aint a nazi
Cowards they are,nigger instinct strong as fuck in all of them as they struggle to be mentally white

[ - ] Ex_hack 6 points 10 monthsJun 23, 2023 22:02:32 ago (+6/-0)

Stop smoking meth you dumbfuck.

[ - ] Leveraction 3 points 10 monthsJun 23, 2023 22:29:09 ago (+3/-0)

Slow down on the crack, crackhead

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey 1 point 10 monthsJun 24, 2023 10:02:02 ago (+1/-0)

Get off the dicks, faggot.

[ - ] Joe_McCarthy -4 points 10 monthsJun 24, 2023 01:01:28 ago (+0/-4)

"I played it safe because I feared death. Because I was going to die anyway. I called someone a Jew on the internet to make myself feel superior. I never had kids but I posted harder. Right before coming here, Satan, I had long since become too old and feeble to do anything but post. I worked shit jobs but at least I didn't get hurt. Amen."

[ - ] MynxiMe 2 points 10 monthsJun 24, 2023 01:22:28 ago (+2/-0)

Tried to downvote this third grade tier troll but the mechanics are jacked.

[ - ] Joe_McCarthy -1 points 10 monthsJun 24, 2023 01:28:17 ago (+1/-2)

No need to bother. The bots have got you covered.

Whites in their comfortable bedroom communities are notably inferior to even jihadist sandniggers if our measure is heroic values. They even get 70 virgins. Guys here can't even get 1.