She's like the worst of both worlds: she penny pinches, uses misdirection, never takes any accountability and debates by nitpicking. And then she acts belligerent, yells and acts like a nigger when she's losing an argument. Going for the stay far far away school of thought on this one
The first girl I ever loved, when I was 26, was like this. Her family was a fucking mess, that should have triggered me. She was normal for a long time, until she wasn’t. She hid her true nature because it was undesirable. That was thirty years ago. I occasionally stalk her on the internet. She has been married twice, and both men killed themselves. One jumped off a high overpass in San Antonio, the other gassed himself in his car.
There is no fixing her. She was broken when you got her and she hid it. Get out while you can.
Thank you. I still loved her, but I had to cut loose. It was hard. I bought her a plane ticket from Texas to New York and drove her to the airport. What a scene that was. Ever tried to get a bitch on a plane that didn’t want to go?
The moment of clarity came when we were lying in bed, and I revealed that a horrible yum yum orange shirt. Life jacket colored. Was a gift from an ex. I only wore it to paint, or change my oil. It was a shit mop. Well, she jumped out of bed, grabbed it from the closet and ran out of the room. I could hear it ripping. I laid in silence. The shirt meant nothing. After awhile, I went to see what was going on and she was sitting naked on the floor, carving herself up like a Christmas ham with a knife. I protested. She attacked, with the knife, I disarmed her. It was so sudden. 5 minutes earlier, we were just chatting in bed about astronomy. I decided, this can’t be the mother of my children. I stayed up all night because I thought she might stab me in my sleep.
Edit* she’s a nurse now. Every nurse I’ve ever known was nuts. Don’t marry a nurse.
The girl after her, I’ve been married to for 22 years. We’ve never had an argument about anything. I needed to see stealth crazy up close so I would know what to watch out for.
My biggest concern would be it somehow passing on to my kids, since the behavior may be entirely internalized by the girlfriend by that point and only expressed after they're born.
It's been 20 hours since you posted this. By now you should have broken up with her. If you haven't then what comes to your future is your own damn fault! Everyone here has told you. What you really need to understand is You Will Not Change Her! The only thing you can do is LEAVE HER. The sooner the better!
My theory is because theirs was the first generation to be raised by the television, so to speak. Let me guess: she spends at least 6 hours a day in front of the idiot box? Because I know people in that age group who are exactly as you describe and that is the biggest commonality between them.
Going for the stay far far away school of thought on this one
Smart move. Does your gf understand the situation and, if so, is she supportive? That's really all that matters.
My gf is very quickly realizing her mom is not her friend, its hard on her, but she's realizing it. However, there's still a lot of fleas and compromises being done which unerve me. She's agreed she needs to move very far away.
A great example, and will use an analogy on this. Imagine you and your family member are buying a car. The family member looks over the contract, reads over it, outlines the relevant points, reviews the charges, etc. You, the buyer of the car, sign the paperwork and proceed to purchase the vehicle. However, the family member now claims she never purchased the car because "technically", she's not the one who signed for the contract. That's the level of nitpicking bullshit the mom uses to (((win))) arguments
[ - ] Sector7 1 point 1.9 yearsJun 18, 2023 03:29:11 ago (+1/-0)
My gf is very quickly realizing her mom is not her friend, its hard on her, but she's realizing it. However, there's still a lot of fleas and compromises being done which unerve me. She's agreed she needs to move very far away.
YOU need to move very far away. But you think you know what you're doing, just as many of us did. Oh well, you'll have stories if it doesn't kill you. Be sure to have kids with her too, for bonus drama.
Your girlfriend's mother sounds an awful lot like my own. She'll ask my opinion on a decision just so she can blame me if it proves incorrect (for instance, should she buy that oh-so-cute car that's an obvious lemon, only to get angry at my "incorrect" advice and buy it anyway, when what she really wanted was a scapegoat to take the blame for the bad decision (this actually happened.)) And I'm told she does this with everyone she knows who she feels comfortable enough in the relationship to try (family and long-time friends who are still on speaking terms with her. (Understandably, those are running out.))
The reason i know this so well is cause my own mom is a massive cunt of the tallest degree. So when I see a look alike in the wild, their bullshit simply no longer phases me. A lot of the reason the mom is so upset with me is because i repeatedly call her out on her bullshit and she hates it. Instead of agreeing and joining the pity party, i ask questions, and grill her to the same standard i would anyone in my own family. Turns out she despises me for that, who woulda thunk?
[ + ] Steelerfish
[ - ] Steelerfish 10 points 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 17:42:36 ago (+10/-0)
Run. Run now- while you can.
[ + ] totes_magotes
[ - ] totes_magotes 1 point 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 20:27:19 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] PearofAnguishJuniorManager
[ - ] PearofAnguishJuniorManager 6 points 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 17:26:46 ago (+6/-0)
There is no fixing her. She was broken when you got her and she hid it. Get out while you can.
[ + ] bobdole9
[ - ] bobdole9 3 points 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 17:58:25 ago (+3/-0)
Congrats avoiding potential death.
[ + ] PearofAnguishJuniorManager
[ - ] PearofAnguishJuniorManager 5 points 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 18:13:07 ago (+5/-0)*
The moment of clarity came when we were lying in bed, and I revealed that a horrible yum yum orange shirt. Life jacket colored. Was a gift from an ex. I only wore it to paint, or change my oil. It was a shit mop. Well, she jumped out of bed, grabbed it from the closet and ran out of the room. I could hear it ripping. I laid in silence. The shirt meant nothing. After awhile, I went to see what was going on and she was sitting naked on the floor, carving herself up like a Christmas ham with a knife. I protested. She attacked, with the knife, I disarmed her. It was so sudden. 5 minutes earlier, we were just chatting in bed about astronomy. I decided, this can’t be the mother of my children. I stayed up all night because I thought she might stab me in my sleep.
Edit* she’s a nurse now. Every nurse I’ve ever known was nuts. Don’t marry a nurse.
[ + ] Deleted
[ - ] deleted 4 points 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 18:54:15 ago (+4/-0)
[ + ] Ragnar
[ - ] Ragnar 1 point 1.9 yearsJun 18, 2023 00:02:48 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] bobdole9
[ - ] bobdole9 1 point 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 18:18:51 ago (+1/-0)
Yeah, zero to looney bin within a couple minutes...smart move.
Guess I truly never experienced "crazy" before.
[ + ] PearofAnguishJuniorManager
[ - ] PearofAnguishJuniorManager 1 point 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 18:35:24 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Deleted
[ - ] deleted 0 points 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 21:11:06 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] PearofAnguishJuniorManager
[ - ] PearofAnguishJuniorManager 1 point 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 23:30:16 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Peleg
[ - ] Peleg 1 point 1.9 yearsJun 18, 2023 13:27:57 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Deleted
[ - ] deleted 1 point 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 19:30:16 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Ragnar
[ - ] Ragnar 0 points 1.9 yearsJun 18, 2023 00:01:28 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Deleted
[ - ] deleted 2 points 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 17:27:21 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] La_Chalupacabra
[ - ] La_Chalupacabra 2 points 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 17:32:10 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] bonghits4jeebus
[ - ] bonghits4jeebus 1 point 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 20:21:44 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] xmasskull
[ - ] xmasskull 1 point 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 19:34:58 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] 2Drunk
[ - ] 2Drunk 1 point 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 17:21:24 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Peleg
[ - ] Peleg 0 points 1.9 yearsJun 18, 2023 13:43:38 ago (+0/-0)
Everyone here has told you. What you really need to understand is You Will Not Change Her! The only thing you can do is LEAVE HER.
The sooner the better!
[ + ] La_Chalupacabra
[ - ] La_Chalupacabra 0 points 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 17:28:29 ago (+0/-0)
Let me guess: she spends at least 6 hours a day in front of the idiot box?
Because I know people in that age group who are exactly as you describe and that is the biggest commonality between them.
Smart move.
Does your gf understand the situation and, if so, is she supportive?
That's really all that matters.
[ + ] Acrophonic
[ - ] Acrophonic [op] 0 points 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 23:45:28 ago (+0/-0)
A great example, and will use an analogy on this. Imagine you and your family member are buying a car. The family member looks over the contract, reads over it, outlines the relevant points, reviews the charges, etc. You, the buyer of the car, sign the paperwork and proceed to purchase the vehicle. However, the family member now claims she never purchased the car because "technically", she's not the one who signed for the contract. That's the level of nitpicking bullshit the mom uses to (((win))) arguments
[ + ] Sector7
[ - ] Sector7 1 point 1.9 yearsJun 18, 2023 03:29:11 ago (+1/-0)
YOU need to move very far away. But you think you know what you're doing, just as many of us did. Oh well, you'll have stories if it doesn't kill you. Be sure to have kids with her too, for bonus drama.
[ + ] La_Chalupacabra
[ - ] La_Chalupacabra 0 points 1.9 yearsJun 17, 2023 23:58:04 ago (+0/-0)
She'll ask my opinion on a decision just so she can blame me if it proves incorrect (for instance, should she buy that oh-so-cute car that's an obvious lemon, only to get angry at my "incorrect" advice and buy it anyway, when what she really wanted was a scapegoat to take the blame for the bad decision (this actually happened.))
And I'm told she does this with everyone she knows who she feels comfortable enough in the relationship to try (family and long-time friends who are still on speaking terms with her. (Understandably, those are running out.))
[ + ] Acrophonic
[ - ] Acrophonic [op] 0 points 1.9 yearsJun 18, 2023 00:02:48 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] La_Chalupacabra
[ - ] La_Chalupacabra 1 point 1.9 yearsJun 18, 2023 00:10:35 ago (+1/-0)
Too many like us grow up to marry/entangle themselves with carbon-copies of their mothers.