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Just smoked my first home-grown, home-made cigar.

submitted by KeepPoal4fags to whatever 11 monthsJun 7, 2023 00:48:59 ago (+6/-0)     (whatever)

Not to set you smoke-free fags on an expedition, but if you already smoke you really should try growing and processing your own.
Just had my first home-made cigar and it was glorious. Only aged 2 months or so.
Wish I could show you all the A-Z photos, but the kikes will get me if I do.

Instead i will leave you with some treasured words by Kipling.

The Betrothed, by Kipling.
(Spoken in a rusty soldier's voice)-

Open the old cigar-box, get me a Cuba stout,
For things are running crossways, and Maggie and I are out.

We quarrelled about Havanas -- we fought o'er a good cheroot,
And I knew she is exacting, and she says I am a brute.

Open the old cigar-box -- let me consider a space;
In the soft blue veil of the vapour musing on Maggie's face.

Maggie is pretty to look at -- Maggie's a loving lass,
But the prettiest cheeks must wrinkle, the truest of loves must pass.

There's peace in a Larranaga, there's calm in a Henry Clay;
But the best cigar in an hour is finished and thrown away --

Thrown away for another as perfect and ripe and brown --
But I could not throw away Maggie for fear o' the talk o' the town!

Maggie, my wife at fifty -- grey and dour and old --
With never another Maggie to purchase for love or gold!

And the light of Days that have Been the dark of the Days that Are,
And Love's torch stinking and stale, like the butt of a dead cigar --

The butt of a dead cigar you are bound to keep in your pocket --
With never a new one to light tho' it's charred and black to the socket!

Open the old cigar-box -- let me consider a while.
Here is a mild Manila -- there is a wifely smile.

Which is the better portion -- bondage bought with a ring,
Or a harem of dusky beauties, fifty tied in a string?

Counsellors cunning and silent -- comforters true and tried,
And never a one of the fifty to sneer at a rival bride?

Thought in the early morning, solace in time of woes,
Peace in the hush of the twilight, balm ere my eyelids close,

This will the fifty give me, asking nought in return,
With only a Suttee's passion -- to do their duty and burn.

This will the fifty give me. When they are spent and dead,
Five times other fifties shall be my servants instead.

The furrows of far-off Java, the isles of the Spanish Main,
When they hear my harem is empty will send me my brides again.

I will take no heed to their raiment, nor food for their mouths withal,
So long as the gulls are nesting, so long as the showers fall.

I will scent 'em with best vanilla, with tea will I temper their hides,
And the Moor and the Mormon shall envy who read of the tale of my brides.

For Maggie has written a letter to give me my choice between
The wee little whimpering Love and the great god Nick o' Teen.

And I have been servant of Love for barely a twelvemonth clear,
But I have been Priest of Cabanas a matter of seven year;

And the gloom of my bachelor days is flecked with the cheery light
Of stumps that I burned to Friendship and Pleasure and Work and Fight.

And I turn my eyes to the future that Maggie and I must prove,
But the only light on the marshes is the Will-o'-the-Wisp of Love.

Will it see me safe through my journey or leave me bogged in the mire?
Since a puff of tobacco can cloud it, shall I follow the fitful fire?

Open the old cigar-box -- let me consider anew --
Old friends, and who is Maggie that I should abandon you?

A million surplus Maggies are willing to bear the yoke;
And a woman is only a woman, but a good Cigar is a Smoke.

Light me another Cuba -- I hold to my first-sworn vows.
If Maggie will have no rival, I'll have no Maggie for Spouse!


9 comments block


[ - ] Peleg 1 point 11 monthsJun 7, 2023 13:15:39 ago (+1/-0)

I heard of a fella who grew his own tobacco and made his own chew. He had his mix that he added to the tobacco. He had a double wide trailer on his property. He made a tray that went under a corner of the trailer. He would jack the trailer up, fill the tray full of his tobacco, let the trailer back down and press the tobacco into a huge plug that he would later cut down to more manageable size.
Pretty cool setup.

[ - ] KeepPoal4fags [op] 0 points 11 monthsJun 7, 2023 18:40:18 ago (+0/-0)

Ha! Thats awesome. I really want to figure out pressure-fermentation, both for chew and "perique" pipe tobacco. Seems pretty simple, just need patience I reckon. I'll be planting out at least an acre next spring, so hopefully will have enough to experiment with and set aside for ageing.

[ - ] Sector7 0 points 11 monthsJun 7, 2023 02:42:57 ago (+0/-0)

You can buy speciality tobacco leaf online.

https://totalleafsupply.com/shop/

[ - ] KeepPoal4fags [op] 0 points 11 monthsJun 7, 2023 01:04:11 ago (+0/-0)

There exist better readings, but here is one.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rWiCloHGjgg

Post the others you find, I remember better ones.

[ - ] bonghits4jeebus 0 points 11 monthsJun 7, 2023 00:58:25 ago (+0/-0)

basado.

I quit 3 years ago.

[ - ] KeepPoal4fags [op] 0 points 11 monthsJun 7, 2023 01:05:15 ago (+0/-0)

Good, stay that way.

[ - ] Crackinjokes -2 points 11 monthsJun 7, 2023 06:40:50 ago (+0/-2)

Enjoy the throat cancer in 20 years

[ - ] TheOriginal1Icemonkey -2 points 11 monthsJun 7, 2023 01:56:47 ago (+0/-2)

I have a job, like a business that I run, with employees, as well as land to maintain. I haven’t time for such things as growing tobacco. However, I could find time to distill my own spirits.

[ - ] KeepPoal4fags [op] 2 points 11 monthsJun 7, 2023 18:31:34 ago (+2/-0)

I also own and run a business, but tbh my tobacco crop probably paid me more per hour of work put into it. Its a ridiculously easy plant to grow and process. Tobacco prices in NZ have skyrocketed with the govts plan to make the country "smoke free" by 2025 lmao. So I've been on a mission to get the process figured out, turns out its insanely simple, and potentially very profitable. The stuff can be stored for decades as well.