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57

Fuck, I hate interviewing

submitted by lord_nougat to TellUpgoat 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 13:32:28 ago (+61/-4)     (files.catbox.moe)

https://files.catbox.moe/1y19rc.jpg



32 comments block


[ - ] Clubberlang 0 points 1.3 yearsMar 3, 2024 18:05:16 ago (+0/-0)

[ - ] deleted 7 points 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 16:38:55 ago (+7/-0)*

deleted

[ - ] lord_nougat [op] 4 points 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 16:43:35 ago (+4/-0)

Dang, man; I guess such is life for us these days. You're dev and I'm ops; together we could do a thing.

I wish any of my investments panned out as I'd hoped. The only one remaining that I have any faith left in is this stupid house, and we really need to sell it while it is still worth something and move to some hypothetical civilized place.

[ - ] FacelessOne 1 point 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 17:34:38 ago (+1/-0)

Wow did you just propose gay sex?

[ - ] lord_nougat [op] 2 points 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 17:35:43 ago (+2/-0)

You sound jealous.

[ - ] FacelessOne 1 point 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 17:38:49 ago (+1/-0)

Im not into Office Roleplay

[ - ] lord_nougat [op] 0 points 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 17:40:21 ago (+0/-0)

Fuck.

I guess that means I have to make the cover letters for these TPS reports all by myself now.

Damn it.

[ - ] Clubberlang 2 points 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 20:12:59 ago (+2/-0)

Manager 1: you did it wrong

Manager 2: did Manager 1 tell you you did it wrong?

Manager 3: Manager 1 and 2 told me you're doing it wrong is something wrong?

Manager 4: Manager 1 2 and 3 alerted me to the fact you're doing it wrong please be in meeting room 1 at 4pm.

HR: 4pm meeting room 1. It's come to our attention that you haven't included pronouns in your tps reports is there any reason for this?

Me: no one told me this was even a thing other than I was doing it "wrong".

HR: meeting room 1 4:15 Starts talking over you as soon as you start to explain you were never told about the jewining of the office, unfortunately it seems that the company is going in a different direction and with that has made your position in the company redundant. We are looking for other pipelines to explore for a better KPI outcome and current restructuring.

Me: ? Did you say all that to indirectly say I'm fired?

HR: meeting room 1 4:30 you can continue to work until your services are no longer required on Friday.

Me: ? So I'm fired.

HR: meeting room 1 4:35pm diversity hire starts munching on donut says nothing and walks out of meeting room.

[ - ] FacelessOne 1 point 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 17:43:37 ago (+1/-0)

One incident playing Copy Repair Man and I am scarred for life

[ - ] deleted 1 point 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 17:24:08 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Clubberlang 0 points 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 20:03:09 ago (+0/-0)

hating it and then having to play it over and over because people like it.

Smells like teen spirit.

I think that's why I never got my shot gun back from kirk.

[ - ] Master_Foo 6 points 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 14:49:12 ago (+7/-1)

I don't even need a job. I just sign up for interviews so I can make jokes about fucking the interviewer's mom.

[ - ] Clubberlang 0 points 1.3 yearsMar 3, 2024 18:06:16 ago (+0/-0)

Does the interviewer go on an hour long tirade about you being a christcuck?

[ - ] oyy_veyy_goyy 3 points 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 13:57:37 ago (+3/-0)

Reminds me of this joke from family guy: https://yewtu.be/watch?v=2q6rndPvFcI

[ - ] lord_nougat [op] 1 point 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 14:29:28 ago (+1/-0)

If he were interviewing at disney he'd be hired on the spot!

Or any major esg scored corporation at this point, I guess...

[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 20:19:09 ago (+1/-0)

Oyyyyyy Veyyyy we've been looking for a semetic such as yourself!!

What position do you want?

Top or bottom?!

[ - ] TheViciousMrPim 2 points 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 15:04:14 ago (+3/-1)

You should answer "your mom" as a way to vet employers. If they get russled, you didn't want to work there anyway.

[ - ] Jinglebanger 2 points 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 15:00:01 ago (+2/-0)

Work for yourself. Problem, among others, solved.

[ - ] lord_nougat [op] 3 points 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 15:11:59 ago (+3/-0)

That's what those 87000 new irs agents are for.

[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 20:16:49 ago (+1/-0)

Lock and load!

[ - ] Not_a_redfugee 1 point 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 21:08:09 ago (+1/-0)

Dammit I forgot how to unlock my doors and I also keep impulsively cleaning my shotgun. Darn it. Sorry IRS xir you're gonna have to kick down my door. DAMMIT I JUST DID A N.D. AND SHOT HIM IN THE CHEST WHEN HE PEACEFULLY KICKED MY DOOR OPEN. FUCK NOW MY OCD IS KICKING IN AND I NEED TO FILL IN THIS BIG HOLE I DUG IN THE WOODS.

[ - ] lord_nougat [op] 0 points 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 21:18:08 ago (+0/-0)

Hey, with that differently abled perspective, we must acquit!

...be sure to also identify as a nigger, and you can't be prosecuted.

[ - ] kammmmak 1 point 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 16:12:01 ago (+1/-0)

But you won't do moms.

[ - ] deleted 1 point 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 16:40:14 ago (+1/-0)*

deleted

[ - ] Jinglebanger 0 points 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 21:16:34 ago (+0/-0)*

My customers are usually pleasant and happy to see me.

And not a one of them is my boss, I can assure you. I swapped out of the labor pool specifically because I don't like motherfuckers telling me I need to bust ass more than I already am so they can meet some arbitrary deadline or whatever. Those days of working three 14s in a row and being "rewarded" by being told not to come in for my OT are loooonnggg over.

Unlike working for someone else, if a client is a pain in the ass, I can just tell them to fuck off and go about my day. I'm way too in demand and have way too little patience to deal with entitled niggers.

And bonus, I'm taking tomorrow and Friday off. Just because I feel like it. The day you make like $400 doing a couple hours of work is the day you'll understand.

[ - ] HeavyBrain 0 points 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 16:49:46 ago (+0/-0)

Bonus; you also can finish your 10 year plan.

[ - ] bobdole9 2 points 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 14:15:08 ago (+2/-0)

So, what did you tell them?

[ - ] lord_nougat [op] 5 points 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 14:31:24 ago (+5/-0)

"Driving my enemies before me and hearing the lamentations of their women."

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 1 point 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 14:33:22 ago (+1/-0)

Ok, Conan.

[ - ] big_fat_dangus 1 point 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 17:27:54 ago (+1/-0)

At least you did better than graydrag at his job interview

[ - ] DARTH_VARIANT 0 points 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 17:22:40 ago (+0/-0)

Instead it slipped out as “your dad”….
BTW
Did you find your gun?

[ - ] lord_nougat [op] 0 points 2 yearsMay 31, 2023 17:32:46 ago (+0/-0)

Oh man, it would be illegal not to hire a father fucker! DISCRIMINATION!!!!

I lost that gun in that tragic deepseadiving accident.