Mayonnaise Water - Upgoat - "what's upgoat?"

Mayonnaise Water
submitted by shitface9000 to TellUpgoat 1 yearApr 24, 2023 01:47:01 ago (+9/-0) (TellUpgoat)

Today I saw this kid pore a cup of water, then drop a dollop of mayonnaise into it.

In disbelief I gasped: "What the hell is that?" ... he blithely replied "it's mayonnaise water. it's great!"

I was speechless because there are no words. Nearby a woman retorted "that's disgusting". I said "he likes it" followed by another bystander "do not yuck another person's yum".

The whole encounter left me wondering ... is "mayonnaise water" an undiscovered delicious concoction, or some kid's palette gone rogue.

Which is it, my fellow voater?

I'm going to try it

Hell no

I might try it if challenged

I'll try it and not tell anyone

Fuck you

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38 comments block

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[ - ] Fascinus 11 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 02:10:31 ago (+11/-0)

Upvoated for including "Fuck you" as an option.

[ + ] Her0n

[ - ] Her0n 3 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 09:18:53 ago (+3/-0)

Always a good option

[ - ] IfuckedYerMum 11 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 02:00:52 ago (+11/-0)

"do not yuck another person's yum".

People who say this should be shot. Especially the gook who popularized it.

[ + ] TheGreatWar

[ - ] TheGreatWar 4 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 04:55:38 ago (+4/-0)

WE GOT ZIPS INSIDE THE PERIMETER YELLING GOOK!!! GET DOWN TAKE COVER!!!!!!!

[ + ] bobdole9

[ - ] bobdole9 0 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 09:15:12 ago (+0/-0)

Your ounces talk to you? Damn...may want to lay off the green.

[ + ] shitface9000

[ - ] shitface9000 [op] 1 point 1 yearApr 24, 2023 02:11:45 ago (+1/-0)

the guy who said it claimed it was his kid's quote or something

[ + ] IfuckedYerMum

[ - ] IfuckedYerMum 2 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 02:15:00 ago (+2/-0)

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/YBne-rBxXAY

[ + ] shitface9000

[ - ] shitface9000 [op] 1 point 1 yearApr 24, 2023 02:33:54 ago (+1/-0)

TIL
i thought it was something a kid would say so yeah just shoot them all amirite

[ + ] SilentByAssociation

[ - ] SilentByAssociation 0 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 06:27:24 ago (+0/-0)

I did not need to see the whites of her eyes when she took that first bite...

[ + ] KyleIsThisTall

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 0 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 07:39:12 ago (+0/-0)

Yeah but you gonna judge me for eating pork skins?

[ - ] bobdole9 6 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 09:14:04 ago (+6/-0)

Was this child as wide as they were tall? Pretty sure mayonnaise water is a gateway substance to a life as a Walmart scootypuff.

[ + ] lastlist

[ - ] lastlist 0 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 10:39:33 ago (+0/-0)

Depends on sugar content. Drinking tomato ketchup is a guarantee.

[ - ] Crackinjokes 2 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 07:34:38 ago (+2/-0)

A bit like butter in your coffee?

[ + ] deleted

[ - ] deleted 1 point 1 yearApr 24, 2023 10:20:35 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ + ] Mopar_or_nocar24

[ - ] Mopar_or_nocar24 1 point 1 yearApr 24, 2023 13:53:14 ago (+1/-0)

That's actually good though.

[ + ] KyleIsThisTall

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 0 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 07:47:37 ago (+0/-0)

my man.

[ - ] TheViciousMrPim 1 point 1 yearApr 24, 2023 04:55:29 ago (+1/-0)

This sounds like something a kid decided to do to gross out adults. He doesn't actually like it either. He's just being a weird kid.

[ - ] drhitler 1 point 1 yearApr 24, 2023 04:10:22 ago (+1/-0)

kids these days also think having a jewfro is fashionable

[ + ] KyleIsThisTall

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 0 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 07:40:33 ago (+0/-0)

The Broccoli Bouffant?

[ + ] drhitler

[ - ] drhitler 2 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 07:50:23 ago (+2/-0)

yeah that thing, the kids call it a birds nest

[ + ] KyleIsThisTall

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 0 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 08:01:58 ago (+0/-0)

thats a good name as well

[ + ] bobdole9

[ - ] bobdole9 0 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 09:17:56 ago (+0/-0)

Thanks, jews!

[ - ] SumerBreeze 1 point 1 yearApr 24, 2023 02:47:45 ago (+1/-0)

You shouldn’t add extra oil to anything, let alone a glass of drinking water.

Retarded kids gonna die of heart failure.

[ + ] GloryBeckons

[ - ] GloryBeckons 3 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 04:51:12 ago (+3/-0)

Oils and fats are the best source of energy.

They have the highest energy density by both weight and volume of anything we can eat (which is why our bodies store energy in that form as well). They are too large to enter the bloodstream directly. They take a long time to digest. And they therefore keep you satiated and well-fueled for longer.

By contrast, simple carbohydrates like sugars and starches need little to no digestion, and slam into your bloodstream like a freight train, spiking your blood sugar to the point that it's toxic. This forces your body to dump insulin in a panicked attempt to remove the sugar to keep you from dying. Since there was too much, most of it ends up getting converted into fat. Ironic. Meanwhile, your blood sugar is now crashing and triggers renewed hunger. Rinse and repeat.

The only oils and fats to avoid (in large amounts) are saturated fats, since they raise LDL cholesterol in the blood. Even that is good (and necessary), in moderation. But when there's too much it clogs blood vessels.

The notion that eating fat makes you fat is naive and completely wrong. It is the driving force behind the obesity epidemic, and one of the most destructive mind viruses to plague modern society. And there's some stiff competition in that domain.

That said, putting Mayo in your water is still fucking retarded.

[ + ] herbert_west

[ - ] herbert_west 4 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 06:05:03 ago (+4/-0)

Most plant-based oils and fats aren't healthy at all. Just take a look at the chemical chain used for their production. Stick to butter, extra virgin olive oil and coconut oil.

[ + ] PotatoWhisperer2

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 2 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 13:18:22 ago (+2/-0)

Yeah, I've looked at every single mayo in my grocery store. All of them contained soy oil and canola oil.

Check your condiments folks, they have a lot more garbage in them than you think.

[ + ] herbert_west

[ - ] herbert_west 0 points 1 yearApr 25, 2023 05:40:03 ago (+0/-0)

It's pretty easy to make your own mayo. Stop consuming processed food.

[ + ] PotatoWhisperer2

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 0 points 1 yearApr 25, 2023 10:51:02 ago (+0/-0)

Fun too, there's all sorts of stuff you can add to it.

[ + ] KyleIsThisTall

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 1 point 1 yearApr 24, 2023 07:47:03 ago (+1/-0)

This is the way. Also lard and tallow.

[ + ] deleted

[ - ] deleted 0 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 13:51:31 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ + ] KyleIsThisTall

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 0 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 07:46:13 ago (+0/-0)

I eat irish and amish butter pats for lipids. When I drink coffee I add butter and brown sugar. This is very infrequent.

[ - ] Steelerfish 0 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 16:58:12 ago (+0/-0)

I was turned on to mixing a shitload of fresh black pepper and mayonnaise and dipping French fries into them.. where I got it from I have no idea, but add a little blackened seasoning to it too and it’s damned yummy.
Although I rarely do fried fries, I like my convection oven….

[ - ] con77 0 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 09:20:56 ago (+0/-0)

That happened

[ + ] shitface9000

[ - ] shitface9000 [op] 0 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 12:48:44 ago (+0/-0)

Glad you think I could make up something like that lol

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 0 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 07:44:47 ago (+0/-0)

I'll try it and not tell anyone

I haven't bought mayo in years. Make your own aioli.

[ + ] deleted

[ - ] deleted 0 points 1 yearApr 24, 2023 13:54:40 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ + ] KyleIsThisTall