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Idiots release 100 goats into San Francisco because lawnmowers are bad... Want to guess how it went?

submitted by Glowbright to funny 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 13:26:33 ago (+45/-0)     (files.catbox.moe)

https://files.catbox.moe/ezvfni.mp4



42 comments block

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[ - ] Ozark 5 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 13:33:41 ago (+5/-0)

I'm not an expert goat roaper but I know chasing them doesn't work. You need to pretend like you have some food and dive on them when they get close enough.

[ - ] deleted 5 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 14:03:54 ago (+5/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Ozark 5 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 14:07:21 ago (+5/-0)*

I think it's easiest to grab a billy goat by it's hind legs and drag him backwards in the direction that you need him to go but like I said, I'm no expert.

Edit: Don't ever try this technique with a squirrel, they get really pissy about being grabbed.

Edit 2: You could possibly get away with the squirrel grab if first you have a little bit of training and professional support.

[ - ] bobdole9 2 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 15:38:45 ago (+2/-0)

Grabbing a squirrel by the hind legs sounds best while tweaking on substances.

I'm good.

[ - ] oursenilepresident 2 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 16:33:38 ago (+3/-1)

Sticking one small finger knuckle deep into the anus of a large angry Grizzly Bear will make it stop trying to eat you and go docile and roll on its back looking for belly rubs.... I think I heard it in a nature survival documentary!

[ - ] bobdole9 2 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 16:36:07 ago (+2/-0)

Sticking one small finger knuckle deep into the anus of a large angry Grizzly Bear will make it stop trying to eat you and go docile and roll on its back looking for belly rubs....
Meth: It's What's For Dinner

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 1 point 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 16:57:05 ago (+1/-0)

I heard punching a donkey In the back of the head makes it jizz

[ - ] TheBigGuyFromQueens 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 19:37:03 ago (+0/-0)

One finger? What are you? A city boy? We go three up to the third knuckle ‘round these here parts….

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 4 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 13:44:32 ago (+4/-0)

That's how you get a dog. If you chase him, he thinks it's a game and dogs love to run around. If you pretend to chase him and then run away, he'll come within reach. Then pretend to have a treat, or actually have a treat, and collar him.

[ - ] Had 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 19:43:37 ago (+0/-0)

Just shake a plastic bag. All domesticated animals know the sound of treat or feed bags.

[ - ] Sector7 15 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 13:41:49 ago (+15/-0)

Free goats.

[ - ] InYourFaceNancyGrace 7 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 14:57:01 ago (+7/-0)

This is some vintage voat material.

[ - ] deleted 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 16:11:50 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ - ] oursenilepresident 5 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 16:13:36 ago (+6/-1)*

Almost no creeks or ponds in SF for them to drink, and few puddles ever, and limited rainfall, and nutrients from lawn grass are inadequate vs meadow wild grasses.

Also homo bums might ass rape the poor goats in San Francisco.

Goats also CANNOT READ SIGNS! : https://files.catbox.moe/fiwi4l.jpg

This weird goat spends hours outside my door ( https://files.catbox.moe/cjo9dp.jpg )

...whispering something about :
• "invite me in"
• "the fourth seal is ready to open, to usher in the New Age"
• "blah blah blah ~~something in latin~~ blah blah"
and...

"The third seal is open! You must come with me to the Chamber of Regrets. There you will be cleansed and reborn anew. Your reborn form will be beautiful and terrifying to behold. You will open one of 7 maws and sing the song of Oblivion, unlocking the fourth seal and making way to the elder ones. You will be as their priest, heralding their return to this mortal plane."

That loitering goat at night says all kinds of dumb shit like that.


goats are quirky : https://files.catbox.moe/cjo9dp.jpg

[ - ] TheNoticing 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 23:15:35 ago (+0/-0)

The shit skin a-rabs are the ones that fuck goats.

[ - ] oursenilepresident 1 point 2.2 yearsMar 11, 2023 00:18:05 ago (+1/-0)

[ - ] Belfuro 2 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 16:54:02 ago (+2/-0)

Goats don't even prefer fucking grass. Shrubs. Bushes. Hedges. Grass is a last resort for them.

Unleash in an orchard and you'll end up with no fruit or leaves to the height of goats on back. Legs and long grass

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 3 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 16:55:25 ago (+3/-0)

Table cloths, drying laundry bits of cars, you name it those motherfuckers will eat it and prefer it over the patch off grass you want them to eat.

[ - ] deleted 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 16:07:21 ago (+0/-0)*

deleted

[ - ] BulletStopper 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 11, 2023 12:57:20 ago (+0/-0)

This will last right up until the homeless barbecue them.

[ - ] Ex_hack 4 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 13:45:43 ago (+4/-0)

Sounds like Goat stew is on the menu

[ - ] con77 2 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 13:50:33 ago (+2/-0)

City of imbeciles

[ - ] Roy_Batty 6 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 14:01:54 ago (+6/-0)

This is perfect! Now just send in some mountain lions to take care of the goats.

[ - ] FreeinTX 1 point 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 15:01:31 ago (+1/-0)

Fucking animal cruelty. I was sure I was gonna see niggers slaughtering them on the streets and tryna eat 'em.

[ - ] GoatWarVet 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 11, 2023 22:41:00 ago (+0/-0)

Nah, that would be the mexicans.

[ - ] bobdole9 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 15:41:43 ago (+0/-0)

Need another few hundred and see how they treat the street people. Maybe the homeless population will head elsewhere.

[ - ] Irelandlost 2 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 15:46:33 ago (+2/-0)

Quite different, but it reminded of an incident in Dublin a few years back when a few lads after a night out broke into Dublin zoo and took a penguin. They brought it back into Dublin town with them (taxi driver said he thought it was a rabbit, he obviously thought it was funny too), and the best part was they released him outside a drug rehab centre. Imagine some poor reformed junkie coming out after his 6 weeks dry out to see a penguin waddling up Molesworth St - he’d be straight back in for round two of the drug treatment!

[ - ] GoatWarVet 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 11, 2023 22:39:16 ago (+0/-0)

Kek

[ - ] pickingrinninspittin 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 15:56:57 ago (+1/-1)

Yeah but they meant well, so it still counts. Well done all you imbecilic virtue signalling idiots. There's a spot set aside for you in heaven, right next to all the homeless that died of an overdose or from disease that's spread by human shit.

[ - ] NuckFiggers 2 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 16:19:55 ago (+2/-0)

People that haven't lived there have absolutely no idea how ridiculous SF is. It's such a shitty place it's comical.

[ - ] Master_Foo 2 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 16:24:56 ago (+2/-0)

FTFY:
Progressives that haven't lived there have absolutely no idea how ridiculous SF is.

Everyone else believes you.

[ - ] Scyber 1 point 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 16:25:32 ago (+1/-0)

I visited SF for a weekend about 15 years ago and couldn't believe how steep the hills were. Just walking around that city is exhausting, It's so impractical.

[ - ] NuckFiggers 1 point 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 16:28:46 ago (+1/-0)

I used to live in Boston and it's a pretty walkable city. If you've got the time you can easily walk from South Boston to Charleston no problem. SF is a little over half the size of Boston but you can't fucking walk around the city in SF, it's impossible.

[ - ] Scyber 2 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 19:33:20 ago (+2/-0)

Here's a quick funny story - When I was walking around I stopped in a deli and told a lady customer that walking the hills was exhausting and she said "It's an allegory for the ups & down that modern society experiences..."

Mind you that this was before the 2008 recession - I thought about it for a second and bursted laughing at how pretentious her comment was and realized how people who lived there are so full of themselves - like smelling their own farts pretentious.

[ - ] NuckFiggers 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 22:54:24 ago (+0/-0)

That might be the main reason I hate SF- the people there have that disgusting leftist smugness. Because of all the colleges a lot of students see themselves as going-to-be-famous and already treat people like they're a famous author but those faggots will be gone in a few years. There's also a lot of spoiled arab kids and dot niggers (surprisingly) that think the American culture is wrong and treat people like there's a caste system. That's my main gripe with Boston. Light years better than SF though.

[ - ] PygmyGoat 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 11, 2023 14:38:51 ago (+0/-0)

Literally shitty.

[ - ] Master_Foo 1 point 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 16:23:02 ago (+1/-0)

Usually, Progressive's stupidity backfires on them when they try to protest something.

What's the logical consequence of protesting on a freeway? Well, most people would say, "dumb idiot gets runover", and that's usually what happens.

Now, here's a idiotic plan that isn't going to do jack shit. But, I'll support it anyway.
Next time double the number, and make it rams.

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 3 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 16:54:10 ago (+3/-0)

Next they will release a bunch of Arabs to catch them.

[ - ] Bottled_Tears 1 point 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 17:14:19 ago (+1/-0)

I worked at a daycare when I was younger and the director was a former meth addict. She wanted to get 2 goats for the lawn instead of a lawn mower. She wanted those kicking animals around 0-10 year olds.

[ - ] Trickthegoyim 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 18:33:32 ago (+0/-0)

I bet u those idiots were government funded. Also wtf how dumh do u have to be to think goats can live downtown

[ - ] NaturalSelectionistWorker 3 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 18:47:44 ago (+3/-0)

Safer than the hispanics they release to cut their grass.

[ - ] recon_johnny 1 point 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 19:01:36 ago (+1/-0)

I never would have believed it, if I didn't see it.

[ - ] Crackinjokes 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 10, 2023 20:48:47 ago (+0/-0)

I was thinking it was going to be videos of the gays f****** them. Now I'm wondering if that's where monkeypox originally came from.

[ - ] shitface9000 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 11, 2023 03:17:30 ago (+0/-0)

That's a highly congested area with freeway and bridge onramps, pedestrian footpaths, and cross-town traffic all over the place.

[ - ] _Obrez 1 point 2.2 yearsMar 11, 2023 04:26:07 ago (+1/-0)

This is how monkeypox will become endemic in goats.