☰
×
Login Register an account
Top Submissions Explore Upgoat Search Random Subverse Random Post Colorize! Site Rules Donate
13

Whichever you glowwies arranged the recent meetup with that one women, thanks.

submitted by prototype to random 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 22:25:20 ago (+15/-2)     (random)

I know you know I frequently give randos rides.

A statie conveniently pulled over on the off ramp so I have to take the back way home?

20 miles out my way, and shes walking because she just got in an argument with family?

Offered me cash for the ride. Offered me cash for anything else as a thank you.

Immediately establishes 'star sign', and birth date. Finds out my last name as we're talking. Starts talking cars, confirms the make and model, and likes it because its similar to hers? Yeah sure.

Goes in for a hug when I drop her off, and transitions into a kiss and then making out?

Says shes staying separate from her family, and has to work tomorrow, and I'm like "yeah that sucks", and shes like "yeah what really sucks is i'm gonna be up all night alone."

Ignored. We finish up talking, and she heads back. I drive home kicking myself.

Goats, I'm probably just the dumbest motherfucker on gods green earth, but it was definitely fucking weird.
I am not that lucky.

So which of you glow in the dark motherfuckers took my shitposts serious?

Also, how did you know my one weakness was women?

Either I'm fucking retarded from all the head trauma from years of fighting, it was a setup, or I really am living in the fucking matrix.


75 comments block

sort by: hot new top old low

[ - ] SkullFuckerSupreme 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 22:27:45 ago (+1/-1)

This is called picking up a prostitute that wants to case your house for her pimp to break into later.

She owes that nigger money so she has to work it extra hard or else.

[ - ] prototype [op] 3 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 22:29:18 ago (+3/-0)

So I kissed the mouth that sucked a niggers dick.

God dammit.

edit: Thats the thing, she didn't want my address at all. She never once mentioned going to my place. Where I picked her up, I was about the only person that could have been guaranteed to pass by, owing to the state cop who blocked the previous on ramp. She was literally walking in the dark in the middle of nowhere. Which just happened to be the only other route for me to get home. It's fucking weird, I'm telling you.

[ - ] SkullFuckerSupreme 3 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 22:39:05 ago (+3/-0)

From a prostitutes perspective if you wanted it you would have taken it home and that would have served you right for whatever came next.

Cops run prostitutes as well.

Not trusting an American girl any farther than you can throw her is never going to let you down as a general policy. Their behavior demands it.

Now you have to sweep your car for bugs and tracking devices.

[ - ] Ragnar 1 point 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:07:40 ago (+1/-0)

Not trusting an American girl any farther than you can throw her
Wait till you meet Ukrainian or Russian girls. Or asian girls. Fucking psychos

[ - ] prototype [op] 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:20:46 ago (+0/-0)

Yes but I can throw a 108 pound girl at least five feet.
Anyone I don't trust I keep arms length.

Naturally, I don't associate with a lot of people, and like a vietnam vet, I live in a rathole. Better to secure against trees speaking Vietnamese, and spies whispering lies.

[ - ] prototype [op] 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 22:55:46 ago (+0/-0)

See thats the thing, I offered to take her anywhere else, multiple times, because her apartment looked kinda small and shit even though it was a nice area, and I thought maybe because she'd just got in an argument with her family, she was actually just bullshiting that it was her place and had just wanted a ride away from them.

So I'm like "I really don't feel comfortable leaving you here." but she insisted, so whatever, but its fucking weird that she didn't have me pull up front, and instead pulled into an adjoining parking lot of the commercial property next door.

I don't give a shit about bugs or anything like that because a cellphone is one by default, and I always have at least one on me.

I did check after I left to make sure she hadn't dropped any drugs or anything, though I don't think she had any on her and I didn't find anything afterward--but thats standard policy when giving peoples rides. Make sure they aren't fiends. You can usually just tell by looking at them.

[ - ] Joe_McCarthy 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 22:34:51 ago (+2/-2)

Yeah. Has happened to me. Had a female solo traveler with backpack walking through a Mexican neighborhood last year for example. NEVER see a girl like that walking in a barrio. She tried to start a convo with me.

This was when they were trying to get more face to face info about me with on the ground meet ups. And every guy's weakness is pretty brunettes traveling solo. Or going solo. Or whatever.

So I take it they need some more or less preliminary info on you with real life readings and conversation.

[ - ] lord_nougat 3 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 22:51:54 ago (+3/-0)

Female solo?! SHE'S JUST YOUR TYPE!

[ - ] prototype [op] 1 point 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:24:28 ago (+1/-0)

Female Solo

I don't get the reference. I really don't.

I'm still baffled how it happened.

This must be like brad pitts daily experience. Confusing, satisfying, and unfulfilling all at the same time.

Maybe I need meds for paranoia. Being a part time hobbyist analyst or "spy" has taken its toll.

[ - ] lord_nougat 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:30:34 ago (+0/-0)

That's cool. It is for the best to keep your youthful innocence.

[ - ] Joe_McCarthy 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 02:01:45 ago (+0/-0)

Definitely a solo girl that should.

[ - ] prototype [op] 2 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 22:38:52 ago (+2/-0)

It was you that set it up, wasn't it Joe?

You dog.

[ - ] Joe_McCarthy 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 22:43:36 ago (+0/-0)

Afraid not. But I am under investigation. And they have some interesting toys...

[ - ] mannerbund 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:25:11 ago (+0/-0)

You made the right choice. Random encounters are not worth shit.

[ - ] prototype [op] 1 point 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:29:08 ago (+1/-0)

You're either very experienced, or very skilled at sounding experienced. You sound like you have some stories to tell.

[ - ] mannerbund 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 10:16:12 ago (+0/-0)

I learn from the group wisdom, camped/biked a lot with a multi-generational group of friends growing up, and heard plenty of life stories from a varied crew, and how those stories turned out.

Learning from others is how you stand on the shoulders of giants, learning from your own mistakes is how you end up in an early grave, serving as the warning to those would would listen.

The most common themes: Women are dangerous, be careful who you pick to put your dick in, and don't let vices ruin your life.

[ - ] Artificial_Intelligentile 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 01:15:45 ago (+0/-0)

matrix it is.

[ - ] prototype [op] 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 01:22:06 ago (+0/-0)

"matrix it is."

Look I'm not saying I want to seduce a women with a lesbian haircut, but we must always aim for the impossible. You can only make and define reality by first defying it.

[ - ] deleted 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 12:33:34 ago (+1/-1)

deleted

[ - ] prototype [op] 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 8, 2023 01:41:54 ago (+0/-0)*

I think a lot of what is highly unlikely, nevertheless has a minute chance of being true. And all it takes is being wrong once.

[ - ] usedoilanalysis 1 point 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 23:46:14 ago (+1/-0)

She could have wanted to set you up.

[ - ] prototype [op] 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:08:47 ago (+0/-0)

" She could have wanted to set you up."

But would it have been worth it?

Would you have followed her to her apartment?

[ - ] Ragnar 3 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:10:26 ago (+3/-0)

I heard they steal your kidneys this way in Morocco

[ - ] prototype [op] 1 point 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:15:44 ago (+1/-0)

"wheres the heart, the PRECIOUS HEART?"

relevant:
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=Vmb1tqYqyII

[ - ] WanderingToast 1 point 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 03:59:03 ago (+1/-0)

Yo probably just gave a list to a hooker

[ - ] albatrosv15 1 point 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 05:29:37 ago (+1/-0)

I would have said that it was just an emotional woman, but...
Immediately establishes 'star sign', and birth date. Finds out my last name as we're talking. Starts talking cars, confirms the make and model, and likes it because its similar to hers? Yeah sure.
Is interesting. Who knows.

[ - ] solomonpapermaster 2 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 01:02:10 ago (+2/-0)*

I wouldn't have even given her the ride. There are crazy people out there. Where I'm from the I'm sure lucky easy girls usually drug you and rob you.

In any case, you never put your dick in crazy and if you want a happy life go find yourself a good woman and don't lay with whores.

She also probably had STDs.

[ - ] prototype [op] 2 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 01:05:46 ago (+2/-0)

I wouldn't have even given her the ride.

Yes but I do this because I have a death wish.

Weld your back wheels and jump train tracks, then call me.

I'm not even alive most days. I pretty much only get out of bed for half a chance at intrigue. Loose girls, isn't. Though it'd be nice to be able to trust someone for once.

[ - ] solomonpapermaster 2 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 01:21:01 ago (+2/-0)

It could have been a child support setup as well.

[ - ] prototype [op] 3 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 01:23:16 ago (+3/-0)

"WHAT MONEY BITCH? HAHAHAHAHAHA" prototype intensifies.

[ - ] Master_Foo 2 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 03:46:07 ago (+2/-0)

Easy women are a red flag. Now you need to tear your car apart bolt by bolt to scrub away all the 6G nanobots she put in your car.

[ - ] prototype [op] 2 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 04:15:31 ago (+2/-0)

Now you need to tear your car apart bolt by bolt

the 6G nanorobots already did that for me.

[ - ] lord_nougat 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 10:56:46 ago (+0/-0)

They are so helpful!

[ - ] RMGoetbbels 2 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 08:09:41 ago (+2/-0)

You were (((this))) close to being skinned and eaten.

[ - ] GoatWarVet 3 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 22:32:15 ago (+3/-0)

Either I'm fucking retarded from all the head trauma from years of fighting, it was a setup, or I really am living in the fucking matrix.

Those things are not mutually exclusive. Still, the worst case scenario is probably you get krebs.

[ - ] beece 3 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 22:51:49 ago (+3/-0)

I was hitchhiking in NM once. Went wild in a most excellent way with a hot blond in a tank top. It happens....but it's rare. Damned memorable though.

[ - ] prototype [op] 2 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 22:58:46 ago (+2/-0)*

"I was hitchhiking in NM once. Went wild in a most excellent way with a hot blond in a tank top. It happens....but it's rare. Damned memorable though. "

Hell yeah. And I would have too if I could be sure some random dickhead wasn't waiting in her apartment to attempt to rob me.

[ - ] lord_nougat 1 point 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:33:53 ago (+1/-0)

Wow. I did not particularly like my time in New Mexico, aside from Carlsbad caverns. That place was awesome. Also those epic aircraft graveyards.

[ - ] prototype [op] 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 01:19:41 ago (+0/-0)

Caving is fucking rad. How would you describe carlsbad?

[ - ] lord_nougat 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 10:50:23 ago (+0/-0)

Astonishing. So weird and beautiful.

Also cold, because you go from the heat of the desert to a chilly subterranean environment

[ - ] Ragnar 4 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:02:09 ago (+4/-0)

Either I'm fucking retarded from all the head trauma from years of fighting, it was a setup, or I really am living in the fucking matrix.

Why not all three?

[ - ] prototype [op] 5 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:07:23 ago (+5/-0)

"Why not all three?"

Picks up Trinity

Makes out.

Alright, bye bitch.

Takes the blue pill and wakes up working at fucking Papa Johns, sames as yesterday.

[ - ] Ragnar 4 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:09:28 ago (+4/-0)

Nice trip

[ - ] Monica 3 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:47:21 ago (+3/-0)

I want to wake up and have my freezer full of steak

Guaranteed

Takes blue pill

Wakes up, opens freezer Salisbury Steak Dinners

Hell yeeeeeah

[ - ] prototype [op] 2 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 01:02:27 ago (+2/-0)

What a vicious response. You're a true friend Monica.

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper 5 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 22:47:51 ago (+6/-1)

I almost fucking hate myself for reading this fermented pulp...is that what this site is now, play by play on spit swapping?

[ - ] prototype [op] 4 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 22:57:59 ago (+4/-0)

It's why it is posted under random Zyklon.

Are you mad that I had some fun and you didn't?

Well get on with living then and go pick up your own hitchhikers dammit!

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper 5 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 23:41:20 ago (+5/-0)

Hey hey wait a minute...I've had my share of dames that couldn't keep their clothes on around me and willfully enslaved themselves to my whip, even the fishnet stockings were piling up and you don't see me posting about such counter hygienic episodes involving mucus and spittle and gearshift...I missed the "random" category...BUT THAT'S SOME HOW STILL YOUR FAULT.
By the way, women are like a volcano, hot and angry and when they blow their top, look out.

[ - ] Ragnar 5 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:03:42 ago (+5/-0)

Post your dirty memories

[ - ] Monica 5 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:44:05 ago (+5/-0)

One time I had this really awesome fungus growing on my foot. Peeled off the skin. It was so dirty. Didn't look dirty but I bet in a microscope that shit was dirty.

[ - ] Ragnar 2 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 11:42:10 ago (+2/-0)

Dirty girl

[ - ] prototype [op] 4 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 23:52:27 ago (+4/-0)

You don't have to virtue signal to me Zyklon. You can be you. Just be you.

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper 1 point 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 12:22:00 ago (+1/-0)

@Prototype...my virtues are warping

[ - ] prototype [op] 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 8, 2023 02:27:00 ago (+0/-0)

Well if you're gonna fuck a hitckhiker, makes sure shes not a tranny first brother.

The warping is a warning sign of trannyism.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 2 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:31:49 ago (+2/-0)

Damn bro, who pissed in your cornflakes? It's just one of our bros telling us about something that happened to him that he found strange. It is strange. He's not talking about almost getting fucked, he's wondering if he almost got proper fucked. Not everyone is the lady's man that you are. I mean, I am, I use to slay pussy when I was a bartender. I don't think that's the point our brother here is trying to convey. Is it possible that he was being set up for ruin, either by crazy or design?

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 7 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:24:39 ago (+7/-0)

Her and her boyfriend tyrone were gonna be waiting on you and roll you. or, you would've contracted herpes from her or worse.

[ - ] prototype [op] 1 point 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:27:59 ago (+1/-0)

Her and her boyfriend tyrone were gonna be waiting on you and roll you. or, you would've contracted herpes from her or worse.

It would have rapidly turned into a hospitalization for both of them.

Did you know I keep POCKET sand AND firecrackers as a 'gunfire' distraction on me at all times in the event of a firefight?
NOW YOU DO.

Prepared for anything.

[ - ] ItsOk2bArian 3 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:43:37 ago (+3/-0)

Sooo, you're Dale Gribble?

[ - ] prototype [op] 1 point 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 01:03:10 ago (+1/-0)

Sooo, you're Dale Gribble?

I've been known to exterminate pests from time to time, so yes.

[ - ] JudyStroyer 7 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 09:43:27 ago (+7/-0)

ITT- OP touches tongues with a streetwalking-hitch-hiker, beats his dick and awaits the results of his home std rapid-test. Good on you for not fucking her though I guess. Shouldn't have swapped spit with a rando. She has probably had all kinds of things in that mouth within the past week alone. Maybe even nigger dicks. You never know. Let that thought marinate a little. You may have inadvertantly blown a fucking nigger, dude. Keep us posted on the herpes.

[ - ] prototype [op] 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 8, 2023 02:25:08 ago (+0/-0)

A proper roasting JS.

But you stole my niggerdicks line, so points deducted for originality.

[ - ] JudyStroyer 0 points 2.3 yearsFeb 8, 2023 07:57:03 ago (+0/-0)

I used a space tho. Totally different.

[ - ] HeyJames 9 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 23:52:58 ago (+10/-1)

You're not worth the resources of an operation that involved

[ - ] prototype [op] 4 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 23:55:24 ago (+4/-0)

You're not worth the resources of an operation that involved

So you confirm it was you then, kek.

[ - ] HeyJames 3 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 23:57:36 ago (+3/-0)

Women often have tumultuous lives. You have mental illness and guessing on her situation she likely does as well. Perhaps she was genuinely interested in you and found some common rapport. Better that you leave her alone. Wouldn't be good for either one of you in the end.

[ - ] prototype [op] 2 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 00:03:20 ago (+2/-0)*

So you confirm it was you that set it up then, kek.

edit: I upvoted you because your anger delights me for some reason.

[ - ] HeyJames 1 point 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 07:00:08 ago (+1/-0)

We're not angry

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 17 points 2.3 yearsFeb 6, 2023 23:49:51 ago (+17/-0)

You don't need rescue pussy, bro. It's not worth it. She would have taken you for more than just a ride. Be proud of yourself that you thought with your brain and not your dick. It's nice that you got some physical contact from her, but as of right now you're winning.

[ - ] prototype [op] 6 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 01:17:52 ago (+6/-0)

Well thank you peckerwood perry. I still regret making the smart choice.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 8 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 01:49:27 ago (+8/-0)

Don't. You're fucked up because clown world has you thinking wrong is right. Reject that shit. You don't need pussy, you need a woman that isn't willing to fuck twenty minutes after meeting you. You can do better, but only if you want to.

[ - ] prototype [op] 6 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 02:40:33 ago (+6/-0)

You're fucked up because clown world has you thinking wrong is right.

I'm pretty much at the point where I believe we'll have to give up any ideas of wrong or right to beat clown world.
Not "I don't believe in wrong or right" but I'm getting there. I don't know what that really means, or what that says about me, and frankly I'd really not share that opinion but I've always wore my heart on my sleeve like that. So whatever I guess. But I like that you have standards still.

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer2 4 points 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 06:41:01 ago (+4/-0)

I'm pretty much at the point where I believe we'll have to give up any ideas of wrong or right to beat clown world.

Save what is right for your folk, give what is wrong to your enemies. No mercy for the jew.

[ - ] Metanoid 1 point 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 08:46:47 ago (+1/-0)

I know exactly what you mean here and aomething tells me a lot of others here do as well.
Hang in there man. Your instincts helped you dodge a crazy bullet. You done good.

[ - ] Scrimmmy 1 point 2.3 yearsFeb 7, 2023 06:17:25 ago (+1/-0)

The obverse would have cost pain AND regret. So still a net positive