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I was on the Coast Guard Cutter Morgenthau homeported in Alameda Ca. SF harbor. The Command had all the operations personnel muster on the OPS rec deck. A compartment smaller than a 1 car garage.

So theres about 40 guys crowded into a room that seats maybe 12. Turns out theyre doing a surprise inspection with a Federal drug sniffing dog.

The metal ladder leading down into this space is on about a 65 degree angle and is about 8 ft tall. Anyways this dog falls down the ladder AND SOMEHOW CUTS ITS DICK ON THE WAY DOWN!

LOTS OF BLOOD

DRUG DOG LANDS IN A HEAP AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LADDER IN A ROOM OVERCROWDED WITH PISSED OFF SAILORS AND IS WRITHING AND SCREAMING IN PAIN!

Of course the captive audience starts laughing because we realized that we had been set up and it backfired magnificently.

The dog handler flies into a blind rage and screams "YOU THINK THATS FUNNY?".

40 GUYS ANGRILY SHOUT BACK "YEAH!". The dog handler grabbed his dog in both arms and RAN straight up the ladder! Not easily done not using the rails.

They didnt pull that shit on us again. Training a dog to use a steep ships ladder was probably cost prohibitive. They did start piss testing people a year or two later. But thats another story.