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When I was a young boy my father purchased a clipper and although having no experience in the finer arts of barbering he decided he would maintain my younger brother's and I's appearance. My father was very sensitive to our wishes, he did not treat us arbitrarily as a possession he could control in this matter. He would involve us in the process by offering us the choice between a G.I. cut or a crew cut. A day is long for a young child and weeks seem an eternity, we knew that the last time had been a pretty severe removal of our locks and not remembering what we selected last time, we simply knew we did not wish to make the same error in choice. Unfortunately the suggestion of choice here was a moot point. Given my father's abilities with clippers it mattered little what choice we made. We were getting sheared anyhow. Now I understand you feel as if you are in control of your destiny and you are invested in your choice between a lying hag and a deceptive bloviating orange clown, but in reality just like my brother and I so long ago, either way you are getting sheared.