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This is what Bob used to say

Make them pay as much as they think they can afford. (1953)[1]
You won't appreciate it if you don't pay for it. (1953, said to "Kitten" Anderson) [2]
You'd PAY to know what you REALLY think. (1961)[3]
The dicks you can't see are always longer. (1957, in his cups in a bar after discovering his wife Connie had been having an affair.)[4]
I'm going to ask you to exercise glands you never knew existed. (ibid)
Any time you can tape record a fart, you should.* (1991(!) memo) (ibid)
(But don't leave it by phone on a friend's answering machine, because you won't want your face near your mouthpiece again for the rest of the day.)
WHO DIED AND MADE YOU GOD? (ibid)
Eternal Salvation — Or TRIPLE your money back![5]
I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to! The Book of the SubGenius"[6]
There IS no God — but if you're any kind of real American, you'll demand that He treat you as an EQUAL. (Revelation X: The "Bob" Apocryphon, said to a child in 1956 at the dedication of the first Home for Slackless Children)
If it were not for the Discordians, I never would have set the Church loose on the world -- for I know that they will always be around to DESTROY IT if it gets OUT OF HAND.[7]
The real role of the Church of the SubGenius is to completely destroy the Conspiracy of the Normals. But don't repeat that, ever. (July 1953)
"Should" ain't "is". "Bob" talking to his son Adam Kadmon after Adam's first date

Hell yea my niggerkike!

Jail or homeless isn't as much fun as they claim.