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Chess grandmaster may have used vibrating anal beads to win against num. 1 ranked player.

submitted by PostWallHelena to funny 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 17:04:21 ago (+20/-0)     (files.catbox.moe)

https://files.catbox.moe/avcdo1.jpeg

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11211325/Did-chess-grandmaster-use-anal-beads-beat-world-No-1-Magnus-Carlsen-Bizarre-rumour-sweeps-sport.html
Archive: https://archive.ph/wip/NJldm
Speculation has grown that Hans Niemann used anal beads to beat grandmaster. Niemann, 19, shocked the chess world when he beat Magnus Carlsen. But fans have speculated he inserted wireless anal beads and an accomplice watching the game used AI to transmit a message with perfect move to beads. Niemann's Elo rating has skyrocketed to 2701 from just 2484 in January 2021. He has admitted to cheating in online tournaments when he was younger but vehemently denies any cheating against Carlsen in a live tournament . He is part Hawaiian and is from San Francisco.


24 comments block

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[ - ] Merlynn 5 points 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 20:39:28 ago (+5/-0)

Ok,so,the creepy fat jew is accused of cheating. Media concocts wild rumor that he did it in a ridiculous way (anal beads) so people will think the claim of cheating itself is ridiculous.

Yeah,it's jews.

[ - ] Deathstalker 0 points 2.6 yearsSep 15, 2022 12:10:07 ago (+0/-0)

Classic Jewish pissing in the well. Just like all of the stupid shit Marjorie Taylor (((Greene))) says.

[ - ] SmokeyMeadow 5 points 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 17:27:50 ago (+5/-0)

Hmm, mixed race with a history of cheating, and from San Fagcisco. What a rock solid grounding of morality.

[ - ] deleted 5 points 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 17:12:18 ago (+5/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Gowithit 3 points 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 17:16:05 ago (+3/-0)

What do you think all of the fist shakings have been about?

[ - ] deleted 1 point 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 17:21:27 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Gowithit 1 point 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 18:31:05 ago (+1/-0)

Hahaha that corn pop was a bad dude!!!

[ - ] dassar 0 points 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 19:47:14 ago (+0/-0)

' ... and that was when i lernt about roaches ' ...

[ - ] diggernicks -3 points 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 20:01:25 ago (+0/-3)

Anti abortion nigger lovers are enemies of america

[ - ] Jfjdjsksk 2 points 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 17:35:12 ago (+2/-0)

Interviewer - 'Do you prefer chess, or sex?'

Spassky - 'It depends on the position'

[ - ] BrokenVoat 1 point 2.6 yearsSep 15, 2022 03:32:44 ago (+1/-0)

There was a guy who cheated using a chess computer in his shoes.
Got caught after shuffling his feet too much.

[ - ] deleted 1 point 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 20:05:27 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] PostWallHelena [op] 4 points 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 20:32:01 ago (+4/-0)

He kept yelling out : “oh daddy! “ in the middle of the match.


Haha jk. I don’t know. Its not confirmed.

[ - ] deleted 0 points 2.6 yearsSep 15, 2022 23:37:01 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ - ] blastbeat 0 points 2.6 yearsSep 15, 2022 01:09:16 ago (+0/-0)

"He is part Hawaiian and is from San Francisco."

lmao. Confirmed faggot.

[ - ] PrincessRobotBubblegum 0 points 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 23:09:10 ago (+0/-0)

Hmmm.

Witty fake Schopenhauer quote.

May have to reconsider that cyborg.

[ - ] thoughtcryme 0 points 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 21:46:27 ago (+0/-0)

shit like this makes me think the simulation is broken

[ - ] Laputois 0 points 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 19:31:25 ago (+0/-0)

Did 81 million idiots vote for him?

[ - ] Laputois 0 points 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 19:31:52 ago (+0/-0)

Sorry. Wrong asshole.

[ - ] PearofAnguishJuniorManager 0 points 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 17:50:18 ago (+0/-0)

So the moves would be transmitted from an AI, via Morse code, directly to the tender anal membrane. I know people that obsess over chess, they’re broke. They can’t afford an AI.

[ - ] PostWallHelena [op] 4 points 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 17:52:43 ago (+4/-0)

But if you obsess over cheating, you dont have to obsess over chess.

[ - ] Inflatablecat 1 point 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 18:19:55 ago (+1/-0)

Its not like chess ai is expensive, or impressive. That sentence was poorly written. The ai would tell you the best move, the plug would Morse code something like (q)ueen to d4. This would be incredibly easy to pull off

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 1 point 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 19:36:39 ago (+1/-0)

350000 dollar prize. That's not chump change.

[ - ] FreeinTX 0 points 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 20:20:23 ago (+0/-0)

Being broke just means that they aren't good at it.

[ - ] lord_nougat 0 points 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 17:35:14 ago (+1/-1)

Faggot cheater.

[ - ] Mopar_or_nocar24 0 points 2.6 yearsSep 14, 2022 21:31:47 ago (+0/-0)

Why do you think he cheated?