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….for people who are from Poal, but come here exclusively to stalk me and others:

3. Techno Rice Dick—Comes in a bottle shaped like a 1.5 inch penis (nozzle) sitting on top of balls twice as big which are filled with a fragrance that conveys bitchiness and passive-aggressive behavior. The bottle is embossed with Ruby Rails code to appeal to the true fucknerd. This is AOU’s signature scent. The wearer exudes a cocky false confidence as “the ruler of a pathetic realm.”

2. A Call From Tyrone (Pink) Eau De Parfum—This is the stronger flanker fragrance to its older sister, Shared Wife Revisited, which in turn was inspired by the earlier version Shared Wife (From the Closet I Watch). Its smell conveys pure shame and impotence. Perfect for the Poal poster who will wear it and get no pussy. Ever.

1. Chomo-Eau De Toilette. A top note of cellulose and lacquer harkens back to an older generation of pedophiles who developed disgusting pictures of compromised children in their own darkrooms and perhaps swapped them on Prodigy or ICQ .The mid note is a synthetic nod to PB&J sandwiches and the base note is a combination of lollipops, newborn babies, fresh comic books and well-worn bondage straps. The wearer is practiced molester whose eyes perpetually look down and whose depraved appetites will not be denied.