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Dated a narcissist for a while. She was always a little od, and a little crazy. Someone posted a definition of Narcissist somewhere, is when i realized she was a text book narcissist. Out of a list of 10 most common traits of narcissist, she checked of 9.
Everything was always about her, she is always the smarter more talented more gifted, every one around her is a fool and idiot. She had a picture of herself as her phone lock screen. She always claimed she could do anything, and always better than anyone else.
She claimed she wrote her own physics book. Turned out it was just her notes from school.
I didn't date her long, soon the emotional abuse started, and since i didn't give a shit about that with my thick skin, the physical abuse soon followed. I didn't have any of that and through her out. Quite literally, picked her up, and tossed her out the door.
With the recent trial between Amber Heard and Jonny Depp, my ex was extremely similar to Amber Turd in her behavior, kinda similar in looks as well. Was nice to see that i got rid of her before she shit in my bed.

Yes I spent two years on old voat constantly talking about it.

Raised as a scapegoat by a malignant narcissist next to a golden child who at 38 decided it was appropriate to tell our 3 year old niece she smells like a fucking little whore in front of said narcissist and the child's mother.

I got told it didn't happen and I'm using the child as a weapon.

Haven't seen them in 4 years and they've told our entire extended family I'm abusive and now haven't heard from them either.

Well got poisoned when I was a kid with 'oh never mind him he's a bit bad tempered' when it has always been attacks on my dignity that I've gotten angry over.

Be 16.
Get told to go to the bottle shop to buy beer for a recipe.
'they won't serve me'
'tell them its for a recipe' (that's true. Danish meatballs. Needed stout iirc)
'they won't serve me'
'ill write you a note'
'THEY WONT SERVE ME AND THEY WILL LAUGH AT MUMMYS NOTE'
'Stop being lazy there's no need to yell here's a note go buy beer'
Go to bottle shop. Get laughed at as predicted. Walk home again.
Get yelled at for not buying beer. Get told I'm lying and didn't go in because I didn't want to.
Get driven to bottle shop and dragged in by the ear.
Mum gets laughed at. I get laughed at. Mum yells at shop person. Mum yells at me. Shop person laughs at us both.
To this day 'i can't even be trusted to go to the store for something simple'

Bonus round - I have a video of my niece being asked who she wants to talk to and asking for me. I got shown it 15 minutes after she had asked when I randomly came inside and they're still on the call. While I was outside in the garage (which I was pretty much living in at the time) No one came to get me or .. and this is likely - sister was told get your brother, sister prob would have come to the back door, slid it open, pretended to call out, then came back in and told mum I'm probably getting stoned and won't come in.

Tldr the one time my niece asks to talk to me on the phone no one actually tells me despite being there. One doesnt give a single fuck and the other is a vicious bitch

Narcissism is just one part of sociopathy/psychopathy. One of the biggest problems we face is that 5-10% of the population is sociopathic. We spend enormous sums of money on things that affect 1% or less of the population, and never address this issue.

Here is a good reference guide to their abuse tactics!

https://www.brainsyntax.com/Portal/Material/1/David_McDonough_Gov_abuse_brainsyntax.pdf

The best way of dealing with them is to just call them out for each trick they use until they stop. Never engage in the bullshit games. Just keep calling it all out.

90% of that is gaslighting, projection, flip the script and labelling.

These morons honestly think this is magic and are completely flummoxed when you can see it and name it. They just keep on gaslighting like it will work this time and it makes them look insane to any witnesses.

They are completely delusional. They gaslight themselves more than anyone.

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my father has the worst case you'll ever see. narcissism isn't a strong enough word.. i'm not sure what is.. but the level of self-absorption and obliviousness is insane. every second of general convo is all about him and what he thinks about x, if you try to input something he'll just quickly talk right over you and continue on. and no matter what he does wrong, he's actually the victim. recent example, my brother lost his job and was suddenly homeless and he only let him stay 3 days in his luxury apartment then kicked him out cause it was the slightest inconvenience for him, then when my sister said wtf at least give him enough time to get back on his feet, my father became the victim and whined about how everyone's out to get him... meanwhile his son was sleeping out on the street and had to drive 1000kms to stay with us. he was fine, very easy to live with, got a new job and place within 2 weeks.

Yes. New(ish) neighbors. One is a white, late 40s, fair weather liberal, lived for a while some liberal place like San Jose or somewhere close. We'll call him Nar.

Back up to the start: A few years ago, Nar started dating a late 40s fresh Ukrainian immigrant milf (Victim1, or Vic1 for short) with 2 daughters in their late teens. At this time, they lived separately somewhere else. Nar was a graphic designer around this time until he decided to quit and study landscape design to start a landscaping company. Fast forward a few months (I don't know how long) and they buy a house together next to me. Daughters move in. One is 17 and finishing highschool, one is 20ish and working as a nurse.

By "buy together" I mean Nar has attached himself to the family and Vic1 buys the house and Nar moves in. I meet them and assume they're married. Nar makes some creepy comments about the 17 year old to which I reply "Uh... maybe when I was younger." At this time I again assumed he was her legal guardian and not a sleaze bag. He is VERY personable and gets you to lower your defenses.

Months pass and I discover the following:

1. Nar isn't working and only attends part-time "college" courses for landscape design. When he eventually "graduates" landscaping school and starts his business, he has 2 clients over 2 years and constantly turns down work.

2. Vic1 works and supports him, and he lives rent-free.

3. Nar does extensive "practice" landscaping work at Vic1's property for which he eventually charges her (months after the fact). He never spoke about charging her before doing the work. Bear in mind, he is living here rent-free.

4. Vic1 is so fresh off the boat that she sees Nar as a catch because he is an American, has a "skill", and is very personable. Because of this, Nar is able to distort her perception of American society and pervert their interactions with neighbors.

After about 2 years Nar and Vic1 decided to move to a gated neighborhood and rent out their old house for events and lodging. Our neighborhood is small and this is illegal, especially the outdoor events part (weddings, large dinners, evening dj'd parties with a stage, etc.) They move to a neighborhood which expressly prohibits this type of rental. After a few weeks of this, the neighborhood bands together (call us Victims 2 through 20) to fight the rentals. Many months and fines later, the event space is gone and only limited lodging is still ongoing.

During this time, Nar keeps trying to be a narcissist and convince me, and other neighbors, he is doing nothing wrong. He lies to Vic1 and says my family is the only one who has been objecting to the rental (legal documents proving otherwise), but because Vic1 has her viewpoint poisoned by him for so long she believes him. Even during meetings with her, Nar uses language/translation errors to his advantage.

Let me stress here that watching him work was MASTERFUL. I didn't even realize he was a narcissist or what he was doing until a month after the rental business started. So yes, it IS a truly mind-blowing experience. Imagine living a (largely) honest life and encountering someone so twisted and self-absorbed that he deliberately sows discord and chaos so he can benefit. He used a charming personality to Judas his way into people's lives and then devoured them from the inside out, like a parasite. Narcissists seem inhuman in their actions because they are so distructive.

Narisists thrive on your attention. Dont give them any.

My wife’s sister married a narcissist, while he was in prison. They had known each other as kids and he started writing to her. Convinced her to move across the country to be closer to the prison. He robbed a bank and got caught before he got to the parking lot.

He had been in the Army for two years, but narcissists don’t like being told what to do, so he went AWOL. Robbed the bank shortly after. He insisted on being his own lawyer because he thought he knew more about the law than an attorney, and he thought he could sway the jury with his sob story. His sob story is that his parents threw him out at 22, he joined the Army so he wouldn’t have to live under a bridge. His grandpa dies and left him 100 grand. He goes AWOL and celebrates his windfall at a titty club where a whore notices that he’s making it rain. They became a couple, they quickly burn thru his inheritance, once he’s broke she leaves him. He needs money to get the girl back so he robs a bank. What jury doesn’t like a good love story? It didn’t work and the judge gave him the maximum of 30 years. He got out after 17 years.

The Army found him in jail and told him he had to pay them back for the food, lodging and training. For 17 years he couldn’t earn to make payments so the amount kept growing with fees. When he got out of prison, the ‘man’ said he would never get a tax return again, the government was keeping it. So to stick it to the government, he just didn’t work and lived off his wife.

I had this smug bum in my life for 19 years after he got out, he and my in-law settled right up the road from me. When my wife and I moved a few hundred miles away, they followed.

He became obese which he claimed had fucked up his back and knees so he walked with a cane, he tried getting disability constantly, it was his full time job for years, but failed due to the money he still owed the government. He also scammed a psychiatrist to back up his PTSD claim. He told the disability people it was from his two years of non war time military service. The government countered with the PTSD likely coming from being in prison and reminding him constantly that he was dishonorably discharged. Once they gave him the final ‘no’ on getting disability checks he threw away the cane and was getting around fine. It had been an act, for years. So many times he got the family to do things for him because of his handicap, and it was all a con. Even his wife thought he was really a cripple. He wasn’t ashamed, he said the government could have sent someone to take pics of him not using a cane and the jig would have been up. I thought of all the times I had done things around their house because he couldn’t walk.

He set up a series of shell companies so his wife wouldn’t have to pay any taxes and badgered the family to let him do it for us too, for a fee. We declined. The IRS sued his wife once they caught on. He would max out every credit card he could get his hands on and then file for bankruptcy. He did that twice. He was a passionate flat earther. Being lectured to about flat Earth from an idiot at every family holiday is grueling. He wouldn’t just corner you, he would call for the attention of the entire room, sometimes gathering folks from the yard as is something important was about to happen. I’d say, ‘this had better not be about the flat fucking earth’… but it was… or some other weird thing where he regurgitated shit he read on the internet. He was into his 50’s at this point, but still a fool.

He’s dead. When his parole was up and he could finally leave the state, he wanted to go to Colorado. Walking up mountains and the thin air isn’t for the fat. He had a heart attack and died just before the COVID bullshit started. Too bad, because he would have really loved to not pay his rent and hammer those government Covid checks.

I have so many stories about this guy. One of my favorites- sister in law and narcissist were invited to a wedding. At the banquet afterwards, the narcissist noticed that everyone seemed to have had their fill and there was a lot of food left. So he started taking it out to his truck, steamer trays and all. The wedding party, parents and bride-groom had been off site taking wedding photos. They come back and all the food was gone. They hadn’t eaten yet. He had to go get all the food and return it. The brides father told him to leave. The narcissist would sometimes tell this story, he thought it was funny. Everyone that ever heard it looked mortified.

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Big time. I was involved in a sports group run by one for years. In all that time he never allowed anyone else to make a single significant decision about what we were doing. If we voted for something he didn't like or someone he didn't control gained a position of power he'd throw a hissy fit, write 2000 word essays about how he was being oppressed and try to engineer little coups to kick out whoever it was.

He also routinely changed the past to suit himself, like if he changed his mind then his old position would become "stupid" and whoever suggested it was an idiot. One time I pasted a screenshot of him making the proposal he was arguing against and he flipped his shit. He blew up my inbox accusing me of everything he had been doing, then started telling me that everyone in the group was sick of me and wanted me gone.

I took this seriously since I was in a leadership position at the time, but when I asked around it turned out to just be him. He later organised a meeting, addressed my concerns and promised to make changes to his behaviour, but as soon as I agreed to withdraw my objections to him being given yet another position of power he immediately forgot everything and went back on everything he said.

People tended to quit in disgust, but he was quite good at winning over new members to replace them (rinse repeat). Oddly enough even the people who distanced themselves from him were often hesitant to actually call him out on anything, any time he got into trouble he'd manage to twist it around until he was the victim and someone else needed to be punished.

Eventually (couple years after I left) he got himself into a #metoo accusation. Basically he fucked a younger female team mate while on a tour (he's married btw), she felt creepy about it and quit. Before she left she made another guy aware of it, he was getting sick of the main guy by that point so he resigned his position and left a note up explaining why. He didn't name any names, the entire thing was anonymous.

Immediately the main guy took down the post and wrote up a big essay explaining why he was innocent (outing himself). He then started damage control writing messages to anyone he thought might have heard about it describing "what actually happened" in ridiculously unnecessary detail and trying to get them on his side. He also wrote to the woman's friends back home asking them to pressure her to recant her accusation and defend him.

There was also a private women's group for the sport where the issue was being discussed and all of a sudden his wife's account showed up there talking exactly like him and telling them all that it's a private matter and they need to stop talking about it immediately.

At any rate, this all happened right in the middle of peak feminism so he didn't get away with it. Half his team quit, the other half was leaving the country so he only had like two people left. He dissolved the team and quit the sport.

Overall the whole experience was a hell of a ride, but I'm lucky in that it wasn't a parent or a spouse or a boss or something, it was just a sports group I could ditch whenever I wanted to. It was a valuable experience in that it taught me a lot about manipulators and how to deal with them.

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Yup, both of my parents were major narcissists. They still are, but they've improved a little, and I've got boundaries in place...

I've dealt with plenty of narcissistic doctors too, nasty excuses for human beings.

Only my mother who thankfully died.

A family member is one. Like acute, drives his personality, wives, jobs etc... Tough to deal with. Avoid these folks at all costs.

Give short non emotional answers. Okay, no, I don't agree. It's like garlic to a vampire.

Also once they know that you know, it's over for them. They won't contact you or only use you as torture-bait for others. Avoid them with your friends near by.

Dismiss them.

YEP. You misspelled "threw" (as through) her out. SO you're a dumbass.

I dealt with one recently, a childhood friend that found me through someone else. So much gaslighting and games and stress and thinly veiled insults etc. I knew it was unusual so I looked up the symptoms, found narcissism and decided to block him after learning what it was. But within just a few months he was so established in my life that it was difficult to rid myself of him. Even now, 18 months later, he still tries to lovebomb / contact me through the only connection we have left and I think that blocking him made him more intent on trying to fuck me over somehow.

Funny thing is that the only person he fucked over on this escapade was himself. Sure I was stressed for a few months but he made a large number of financial decisions during this time which have sent him from being reasonably wealthy to below the poverty line. For example he sold his fully paid off million dollar house and got into crypto. So dumb.

Yes. My mother. What kind of story do you want? I noticed from reddit and tiktok narcs seem to all act the same, down to using the same lines.

It seems these days, damn near everyone is a fuckin' narcissist. Mother, Ex-wife, two daughters with ex-wife, best friend, second ranked best friend, second ranked best friend's wife, current bro-n-law, and on and on.
Ever meet two narcissists that decided it would be a good idea to get married? What a sharknado shit storm that is, but don't dare say anything about their behavior. Outside observation and constructive criticism of any kind is asking to be attacked relentlessly. "I thought you liked talking about yourselves", oh right, this not that.
It sucks, I had to bail on everyone. Love'em and wish no ill will on any of them, BUT FUCK THEM!

Okay we have these labels like narcissist or sociopath or neurotic or borderline and we use them as short hand for people whose behaviors we view as uncooperative, deceitful, harmful and generally exploitive to other people.

Psychology has done a passable job as categorizing several styles of exploitive behavioral strategies but these categories are not truly medical in nature and they aren’t really discrete categories.

We act like these are really distinct groups when in reality people diagnosed narcissist can vary greatly from one another, may have traits the overlap with other groups including (and this is key) exhibiting many selfish behaviors that are observed frequently in normal people.

Because we all engage in selfish behaviors. We all practice deception. We all have come by money or wealth dishonestly or by means other than merit. We have all manipulated someone at some point. The difference is in orders of magnitude. Some people are far more honest and cooperative than others.

What determines these behaviors is genetic. Psychology pretends that these are diseases that stem from a lack of love in childhood or too many microagressions from whites. But the underlying cause is genetic.

Whites that are driven by selfish behavior and greed and who’s aim is to manipulate and exploit other whites are wolves in the fold. They don’t operate by the rules of white society. A wolf that looks like the other sheep can make a good living to a point, but eventually people catch on.

Again this is a genetic predisposition. Its a strategy that sometimes works. Its not really an illness. And its not really a discrete category like being a hemophiliac or a person with freckles. Its a range of behavioral tendencies that trend toward manipulative and tyrannical emotional strategies.

One day we will discover all the genes that predispose people toward this behavior. We’ve already discovered a couple. Then we will be able to correctly medically categorize these folks. And we will probably find that alot of “normal” people may even have one or two of these genes.

TLDR I guess what Im trying to say is that categorizing people as narcissist or not narcissist might be sometimes efficient but people are not really like that. There is not one gene for narcissism and you either have it or not. Its not binary like male and female. Its more or less a spectrum. Maybe you can deal with people at the less extreme end of that spectrum.

But if you have had enough experience with this person to know they are well outside the bounds of normal interpersonal fair play, realize its a genetic condition and it will not change, They will not be able to play nice ever because they don’t have the equipment. They will get what they can. They will not give back. They will not feel guilty about it. They will make you regret giving them another chance.

My mother, my sister, both of the wife's parents, a few bosses I've had... Too many stories, no desire to really share in depth.

Every narcissist I've dealt with acts like a jew stereotype.

Crensch. 'Nuff said

thelastpsychiatrist.com

Here’s a useful graph of the “cluster B” disorders

https://files.catbox.moe/2aefps.png

Yeah, narcissist love having people talk about them, even negatively. So stop this shit already, else you're probably one of these little narcissistic losers.....

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