When the Boomer memes first started to appear several years ago, I was skeptical. I grasped the humor, but I thought they were exaggerating the situation.
I don't believe that anymore. Of course, there are exceptions - there are always exceptions - but on the whole the Boomer generation is the most self-absorbed, gratuitously prideful and self-entitled group of humans to ever walk the earth.
I was speaking with my grandmother recently. She is aging. Things are becoming more difficult for her around the house. A good deal of this is laziness on her part. She has just lost the umph to do much, and then self-caused helplessness starts to set in. Her difficulties and inconveniences become everyone else's fault. If she struggles, there is something wrong with the 'system' that won't automatically notice her frustration and remedy the situation. It's always a doctor's mistake. It's always a politician's fault if she spends her entitlement checks poorly or on stupid cosmetic shit and winds up on fumes by the end of the month. (On that note, the Boomer generation's entire political 'philosophy' is determined by two factors: whether a given politician is increasing their social security benefits, and whether he/she is saying virtuous things about the working class, of which every Boomer considers himself the paragon.)
Anyway, she mentions that she might sell her home (totally paid off as it stands) and move into an assisted living facility. This facility has staff that cook for you, clean for you...basically wipes your ass so that all you have to think about is Euchre Thursdays.
I ask how much it costs.
"$2,500 hundred per month." This does not include the cost of electric, internet, her grocery bills, etc.
I say, "You have quite a few years of living left to do. You're going to burn through your savings in no time. This is like a thousand dollars more than your mortgage payments were, and it's just rent combined with the cost for them to do your chores for you. You don't even know what their standards are for cleaning. Maybe that's a shit job once or twice weekly. You've worked hard your entire life for your savings, and at the end you're just going to throw it all at some corporation, at people you don't even know?"
She replies, "What do I care if it's all gone? I'll be dead."
I thought this must be the epitome of the Boomer mindset, the entire worldview of Boomers distilled into two sentences: why should I care, if I'm dead, whatever it is won't apply to me.
Right. And this complete forsaking of family and the idea of amassing wealth across generations is why the people have lost their power. An old German tourist town nearby features a lot of buildings named after the powerful families that used to dominate it. I thought, this is what governments don't want. They don't want families to have local power bubbles.
And the Boomer generation was bought and sold to undercut that trend - sold on socialized entitlement programs that made the central government slip in and replace family (I wonder how such changes affect loyalty...). Now money exists to earn and burn before twilight. Fire up that RV, baby. Reverse mortgage the house. We're gonna spend $2,500 a month to go live in an 800 sq ft space because we worked too hard for too long to do slave work in our golden years. We had jobs with good salaries and benefits out of high school. We could walk in off the street with a cigarette in our mouths and shoes untied, and they'd beg us to work for them.
By God these youngsters today need to know what it's like to pick themselves up by the bootstraps.
Playing devil's advocate, why not have mom sell house, use some funds to add a MIL suite to your house if you don't have room, and you move her in? She gets to spend her last years with family, see grandkids grow up and hopefully meet her great grandkids, and she still has her own space.
Sounds to me like she is trying to ask for this, but doesn't want to impose.
I understand how that might seem like what she is asking for, but I assure you it is not. She does value her independence in that narrow sense of the term. But this option is something we'll be talking about, no doubt. Her suggestion about the care facility wasn't a decision. She was floating the idea. I imagine it will be a little while before we've got to make any big moves. My point had more to do with the way she was thinking about her finances.
I appreciate the devil's advocacy. There's a lot to think about with aging family; it's more difficult than you ever imagine it as a kid. You see your parents dealing with things, but you never know the half of it.
Getting to this age myself. My Boomer parents are both now retired, and are going through $$ like no tomorrow, which is fine, but they are going to have to slow it down eventually. They got a large hereditary wealth from grandpa, who passed 5 years ago. They live 3 hours from any of us, and us 4 kids are going to have to eventually figure this out.
My dad put his mom in an assisted living place, him and his brothers bouncing her around the country 5 years at a time near one of the brothers. My mom's dad took in his mother in law and she lived with them until she turned 98, then she went into a home for the medical and constant care required. She lived until 104, surprisingly. My grandfather had home medical care until he passed.
In my immediate family, we have done all the various options. There isn't a right or wrong way, but you need to start thinking about it sooner rather than later so you won't be scrambling when the time comes.
[ + ] CHIRO
[ - ] CHIRO 12 points 2.0 yearsMay 23, 2022 11:52:19 ago (+12/-0)*
I don't believe that anymore. Of course, there are exceptions - there are always exceptions - but on the whole the Boomer generation is the most self-absorbed, gratuitously prideful and self-entitled group of humans to ever walk the earth.
I was speaking with my grandmother recently. She is aging. Things are becoming more difficult for her around the house. A good deal of this is laziness on her part. She has just lost the umph to do much, and then self-caused helplessness starts to set in. Her difficulties and inconveniences become everyone else's fault. If she struggles, there is something wrong with the 'system' that won't automatically notice her frustration and remedy the situation. It's always a doctor's mistake. It's always a politician's fault if she spends her entitlement checks poorly or on stupid cosmetic shit and winds up on fumes by the end of the month. (On that note, the Boomer generation's entire political 'philosophy' is determined by two factors: whether a given politician is increasing their social security benefits, and whether he/she is saying virtuous things about the working class, of which every Boomer considers himself the paragon.)
Anyway, she mentions that she might sell her home (totally paid off as it stands) and move into an assisted living facility. This facility has staff that cook for you, clean for you...basically wipes your ass so that all you have to think about is Euchre Thursdays.
I ask how much it costs.
"$2,500 hundred per month." This does not include the cost of electric, internet, her grocery bills, etc.
I say, "You have quite a few years of living left to do. You're going to burn through your savings in no time. This is like a thousand dollars more than your mortgage payments were, and it's just rent combined with the cost for them to do your chores for you. You don't even know what their standards are for cleaning. Maybe that's a shit job once or twice weekly. You've worked hard your entire life for your savings, and at the end you're just going to throw it all at some corporation, at people you don't even know?"
She replies, "What do I care if it's all gone? I'll be dead."
I thought this must be the epitome of the Boomer mindset, the entire worldview of Boomers distilled into two sentences: why should I care, if I'm dead, whatever it is won't apply to me.
Right. And this complete forsaking of family and the idea of amassing wealth across generations is why the people have lost their power. An old German tourist town nearby features a lot of buildings named after the powerful families that used to dominate it. I thought, this is what governments don't want. They don't want families to have local power bubbles.
And the Boomer generation was bought and sold to undercut that trend - sold on socialized entitlement programs that made the central government slip in and replace family (I wonder how such changes affect loyalty...). Now money exists to earn and burn before twilight. Fire up that RV, baby. Reverse mortgage the house. We're gonna spend $2,500 a month to go live in an 800 sq ft space because we worked too hard for too long to do slave work in our golden years. We had jobs with good salaries and benefits out of high school. We could walk in off the street with a cigarette in our mouths and shoes untied, and they'd beg us to work for them.
By God these youngsters today need to know what it's like to pick themselves up by the bootstraps.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 3 points 2.0 yearsMay 23, 2022 12:36:11 ago (+3/-0)
[ + ] PotatoWhisperer
[ - ] PotatoWhisperer 2 points 2.0 yearsMay 23, 2022 13:15:47 ago (+2/-0)
You can get a healthcare worker to work 12hr shifts doing shit for you for waaaaay less.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 2 points 2.0 yearsMay 23, 2022 13:10:28 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] cyclops1771
[ - ] cyclops1771 1 point 2.0 yearsMay 23, 2022 14:45:42 ago (+1/-0)
Sounds to me like she is trying to ask for this, but doesn't want to impose.
[ + ] CHIRO
[ - ] CHIRO 2 points 2.0 yearsMay 23, 2022 15:05:07 ago (+2/-0)
I appreciate the devil's advocacy. There's a lot to think about with aging family; it's more difficult than you ever imagine it as a kid. You see your parents dealing with things, but you never know the half of it.
[ + ] cyclops1771
[ - ] cyclops1771 1 point 2.0 yearsMay 23, 2022 16:39:40 ago (+1/-0)
My dad put his mom in an assisted living place, him and his brothers bouncing her around the country 5 years at a time near one of the brothers. My mom's dad took in his mother in law and she lived with them until she turned 98, then she went into a home for the medical and constant care required. She lived until 104, surprisingly. My grandfather had home medical care until he passed.
In my immediate family, we have done all the various options. There isn't a right or wrong way, but you need to start thinking about it sooner rather than later so you won't be scrambling when the time comes.
[ + ]deleted
[ - ] deleted 5 points 2.0 yearsMay 23, 2022 11:15:25 ago (+5/-0)
[ + ] PotatoWhisperer
[ - ] PotatoWhisperer 1 point 2.0 yearsMay 23, 2022 13:16:47 ago (+1/-0)
You are no longer rewarded for working hard. Therefore, find another way to get your rewards.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 0 points 2.0 yearsMay 23, 2022 13:19:22 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] PotatoWhisperer
[ - ] PotatoWhisperer 1 point 2.0 yearsMay 23, 2022 13:45:47 ago (+1/-0)
Yes. Hence why: