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44

I got kicked out of a bar for the 109th time today, it's not my fault...

submitted by allahead to whatever 3 yearsMay 6, 2022 19:24:07 ago (+44/-0)     (whatever)

All I did was kill the bartender and wore his skin as my own. The people in the bar were a little un-nerved but eventually they came to see me as one of their own. I put in a new cash register right away and started putting drugs in the drinks. Then I kidnapped my customers kids and filled their heads with lies and made them hate their parents. I screwed my customers wife but he doesn't' know it. I also told him his God's a loser and I invited all the people from my cousins bar over and put their drinks on my customers tab. They threw me out. That guy still owes me money. Can I stay at your place?


32 comments block

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[ - ] thebearfromstartrack4 0 points 3 yearsMay 6, 2022 23:01:57 ago (+1/-1)

Geez I don't know. What do you think? COme here a little closer so I can get a look at you.

[ - ] allahead [op] 3 points 3 yearsMay 7, 2022 00:05:52 ago (+3/-0)

I don't remember any bears from Star Trek. You don't have a friend who's an eagle do you?

[ - ] thebearfromstartrack4 0 points 3 yearsMay 7, 2022 08:16:47 ago (+0/-0)

What are YOU talking about? I never mention star trek.

[ - ] allahead [op] 0 points 3 yearsMay 7, 2022 17:42:15 ago (+0/-0)

My bad. What does your username mean?

[ - ] Whiteman88 0 points 3 yearsMay 7, 2022 00:28:03 ago (+0/-0)

God I love this site.

[ - ] Lordbananafist 1 point 3 yearsMay 6, 2022 19:48:37 ago (+2/-1)

The 2nd bar should have buried you in the basement and put a dart machine on top of your hole

[ - ] allahead [op] 3 points 3 yearsMay 6, 2022 19:52:52 ago (+3/-0)

That sounds like an anti-semitic dog whistle.

[ - ] lord_nougat 0 points 3 yearsMay 6, 2022 20:32:55 ago (+0/-0)

Ew, don't talk about his hole.

[ - ] Lordbananafist 1 point 3 yearsMay 6, 2022 21:34:44 ago (+1/-0)

Glistening snail trails around his dirty black hole

[ - ] lord_nougat 0 points 3 yearsMay 6, 2022 21:41:36 ago (+0/-0)

SUPER MASSIVE BLACK HOLE!

[ - ] lord_nougat 1 point 3 yearsMay 6, 2022 20:32:02 ago (+1/-0)

OY VEY! THEY KILLED YOU SIX ZILLION TIEMS!

[ - ] Boardallday3 1 point 3 yearsMay 7, 2022 02:08:21 ago (+1/-0)

That's the 109th bar... You have been kicked out 1,030 TIMES from bars and Friday's restaurants and Applebees Bar & Grill's ..... 1,030 TIMES. YOU ARE NOT WELCOME.

[ - ] allahead [op] 0 points 3 yearsMay 7, 2022 17:43:36 ago (+0/-0)

What do you mean 1030 bars? I've never been kicked out of 130 bars. I'm going to get a lawyer and sue you for telling people about the 13 bars. I'll be right back I'm going to walk into a bar.

[ - ] AryanPrime 1 point 3 yearsMay 7, 2022 04:58:29 ago (+1/-0)

Did you...at the very least...make up a story explaining what an evil person this bartender was so that everyone was accepting of your actions? Did you at least say you buried the bartender and his "belongings" behind his woodshed, you don't actually have to bury him, in fact, digging is for the goyim...best not to even bother disturbing the ground at all, it's not like the goyim will discover such fine details in your story and investigate them.

[ - ] allahead [op] 0 points 3 yearsMay 7, 2022 18:02:19 ago (+0/-0)

I paved over the entire block with 6 inches of concrete to prevent historical shenanigans.

[ - ] drhitler 1 point 3 yearsMay 7, 2022 10:00:24 ago (+1/-0)

You poor man, you can build a shrine at my house to elicit guilt from others who had nothing to do with it, and ill send you money every month to compensate even though i also had absolutely nothing to do with it, in fact i helped you get on your feet again.

[ - ] allahead [op] 0 points 3 yearsMay 7, 2022 18:03:04 ago (+0/-0)

There's nothing I love more than guilt tax, except goy blood.

[ - ] PotatoWhisperer 1 point 3 yearsMay 7, 2022 16:48:07 ago (+1/-0)

Then I kidnapped my customers kids and filled their heads with lies and made them hate their parents.

There are parts of a book, the Oera Linda, purportedly from 3,500-4,000 years ago, that warns against exactly this thing from a certain tribe. They warn against their children being stolen at a young age only to return spewing twisted versions of their own history/culture/religion.

When I say we've been at war for longer than most think, I really mean it.

[ - ] allahead [op] 0 points 3 yearsMay 7, 2022 18:03:32 ago (+0/-0)

Who wrote these lies, I'll sue!

[ - ] wonderfuldonut 2 points 3 yearsMay 6, 2022 20:11:39 ago (+2/-0)

have you considered running for your local school board?

[ - ] allahead [op] 0 points 3 yearsMay 6, 2022 20:48:55 ago (+0/-0)

Oy vey, I'll steal the Mexican bus boy's tip money and use it to get a hooker and blackmail the males on the school board. I don't have time to sit through those meetings.

[ - ] derpfroot 2 points 3 yearsMay 7, 2022 00:41:41 ago (+2/-0)

Sounds like you need to start an organization to crush those that think you're in the wrong for doing that. You're obviously in the right.

[ - ] allahead [op] 1 point 3 yearsMay 7, 2022 18:04:26 ago (+1/-0)

I'm on the phone with my cousin Murray at the SPLC right now.

[ - ] Clubberlang 3 points 3 yearsMay 6, 2022 21:29:19 ago (+3/-0)

Isreal has lots of room and they welcome diversity and inclusion but you need to get your 18th booster they haven't figured out why it's not working yet.

[ - ] allahead [op] 2 points 3 yearsMay 6, 2022 22:05:48 ago (+2/-0)

Only welfare jews live in Israel. The rest of us have to parasatize the goyim to pay for their loafing.

[ - ] Hoobeejoo 4 points 3 yearsMay 7, 2022 01:43:11 ago (+4/-0)

I think it would be funny to go and get kicked out of 109 synagogues while accusing the jews of antiaryanism.

[ - ] Boardallday3 0 points 3 yearsMay 7, 2022 02:09:20 ago (+0/-0)

Oy vey!

[ - ] I_am_baal 0 points 3 yearsMay 7, 2022 02:33:19 ago (+0/-0)

I can get behind that, those bloody europhobes

[ - ] Splooge 9 points 3 yearsMay 6, 2022 19:38:56 ago (+9/-0)

Listen, I've heard your plight and I'm prepared to go to all the other bars, take their money and give it to you as reparations for your experience. I'll also be taking all other bar patrons and sending them to the bar you were at to destroy it and fight any patrons that are still there. I'm actually the head of the local Bar Owner's Association -- we don't own any bars but we're happy to come over there and put on any extra skins that can be salvaged. I'm pretty sure everyone over there owes us money too.

[ - ] allahead [op] 5 points 3 yearsMay 6, 2022 19:51:45 ago (+5/-0)

Shalom. That would be great. Do you mind castrating yourself first and giving me all your gold?