Every generation before you has experienced the exact same feelings - and got through it.
A lot depends on your home life situation. Stay at home mom is different than both working. Stay at home dad is different too.
I hate the first two years, or thereabouts. Not that they aren't fun or enjoyable, but they are terrible to me. I am not a good fit for a parasitic relationship, which is how I describe the first two years.
I love teaching and seeing the learning - which happens a lot, and is something that I would never give up to a daycare or nanny - but when the little shit gets demanding and doesn't know what it wants is when I start to lose my patience.
Spend the money and engage every child safety gimmick on the planet. Kids are magnetically attracted to danger, and child-proofing your house is a good way to take away some of the worry.
You will learn quickly how to handle the kid, and for a while they aren't able to move around too much. After which, they seem to be able to absorb a lot more damage than one would believe LOL.
Kids understand and want to communicate pretty early. Amazingly, simple sign language is something they can be taught easily. Hungry, full, wet, messy, happy, sad - simple concepts to allow some idea of what they need. Don't expect finger level finesse, but big arm and hand motions are definitely doable.
After 2 years old, I can't love my kids enough. They become sponges. They want to learn anything and everything their little brains can think on. Annoying? yes. Fulfilling? Also yes (for me). I am naturally curious also, so we have fun working through their lessons and ideas.
Sleep, privacy, bathroom time, general behaviors are all off the table with kids. I have been called out by my kids so many times for my language and thinking. Guess my kids don't like hypocrites just as much as me LOL.
You can have all the plans in the world, but like war and boxing, plans fall apart with that first contact. Communicate extensively. Make it a point to talk with the mom-to-be, and mom afterwards, about anything and everything she needs. Make the first 5-6 months all about her and the baby. Let her unwind and escape from the stress every so often - however you think to do that. Relatives for a night are a godsend. Use every opportunity to take breaks.
You'll survive, it will be fun, it will be maddening. Communicate.
No screens. No matter what and read to them every day. Its a sacrifice. Our kid is in grade two doing grade four work and we might have to pull him .. they are raising idiots.
Do not give in to tv or video games. The first 8 years especially. My son gets maybe an hr a week of tv. Get a golden retriever when he or she is two and walk it three times a day woth the kid. It will keep you and kid outside and active and is good for anxiety.
absolutely second this about screen time. as little screen time as possible. if you have to have tv, then do nature documentaries or some learning stuff, but you really need to curate every minute of screen time.
dog is nice, but better to do constructive things like fix the car together, garden together, clean the bathroom together. teach the value and habit of work.
[ - ] frankenham [op] 1 point 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 23:13:07 ago (+1/-0)
Our situation isn't the greatest, and finding out she was over a month pregnant about a week after we decided to break up was pretty unexpected. We had been together 10 months and ultimately decided we had too many differences for a longer term relationship. Funny how things work..
I'm excited for the baby in a sense, just not so much in the situation it's being brought into. Having a child is crazy enough on it's own, but then having a baby outside of a relationship and in between two homes is going to be challenging
That's a sucky situation for sure. It could be up to you to decide how much you want to be a part of the care then. That could be good for your, or it could be bad.
You are a rare one to step up in that situation though, so give yourself some credit.
On the plus side, you may not have to worry about losing too much sleep, depending on the situation. And with 2 sets of grandparents there could be times to offload the baby to get some sleep.
Be aware that there will probably be drama introduced due to the relationship - both internally and externally. Conflict can be easily taught to a baby and toddler - and having the mom or dad use the kid as a weapon is never fun. Disagreements over ideology can totally be reflected in the behavior of kids.
Not knowing the specifics, it is hard to say how much time you will spend, so it is important to try to communicate how much each parent will give/provide. Get comfortable talking through the drama caused by all the changes, along with sleep-deprivation, stress, loss of individuality, etc right now, so that when it happens, there is no hesitancy. Be upfront in what you want to provide during the first two years especially. Thinking long term - also start talking through the important aspects of education, living arrangements, travel, etc. but those can be done much more on the fly, when sleep returns and cooler heads also return.
I can't give much help with the disparate living and childcare, only to say communication will most likely be the best avenue. Hate is a wasted and useless emotion in these types of discussions. Any disagreements on major issues should be laid out, and that might set the groundwork for how much involvement you should have or need.
...it could be better, but could be waaay worse. You're on the hook for child support, but at least not divorce-rape and alimony....keep it that way. You will have to deal with the kid only when you come to visit, so that is way better than 24/7. Dealing with a kid will teach you patience over and over again for 18+ years...but patience can serve you in all areas of life, so that ain't a bad thing.
[ - ] localsal 1 point 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 02:13:56 ago (+1/-0)
I would call kids my toughest boxing match - just because they are able to destroy my plans with ease. (And the wife probably would not like me knocking them out.)
You won't probably won't feel excited, until you can interact with your kid, and see them respond.
The main thing is to have a very good bond from birth, be around a lot or they won't really bond with you.
Be very trustworthy. If you make a very good relationship with your kid they will do well their whole life.
Try to be around a lot. You really have a short time with them. At about age three they can really interact, by about twelve their pretty much done with you.
Don't let a child cry out, that means they learned nobody will help them, they will be untrusting, unable to love.
When you kid tries to talk or do anything, be very positive, it will encourage more. Never have on the TV, never give them candy.
Remember though that your kid will know of you in the womb, they are taking in their surroundings, if the child hears you voice, the child will associate you with the womb experience, and your kid will have a close bond with you.
You kid and you will eventually form a strong bond of love.
To help a child sleep, white noise machine, dishwasher, hair dryer, child safe fan, rocking chair.
To destress, eat, good smells, stimulate senses.
Your brain will change to handle parenting.
Not every kid will sleep in a crib.
Using intrinsic motivation and natural consequences not command parenting or hitting. You cannot be there all the time, so kids have to know you have told them the truth.
Just read about the relationship, that makes it harder. Consider if the relationship can be patched up or if it really cannot. It really takes two parents.
A lot of the bonding happens as the baby gets older. Not being excited is normal. Its also normal to not be totally bonded to the baby at first. But stick with it. As the baby starts smiling and laughing the bonding begins. Once the baby becomes a toddler asking you to play, its a complete unconditional love. Its awesome.
Changing diapers, waking up in the middle of the night, it all becomes second nature.
One last thing that I learned from old voat before i became a dad, "crying it out" and leaving your child in a crib before the fall asleep is utter jewish nonsense. You MUST sleep with your baby once he or she is old enough that there is no risk of smothering. 6 months or so.
It’s the best choice I’ve ever made. I decided I wanted kids before we even tried for one. He’s five months old now and he is everything to me. I love hearing him laugh and seeing him smile, nothing else has ever made me feel this way before. His mother stays at home and I work on our homestead 90% of the time. I work freelance two or three days a month for cash for the stuff I can’t make myself.
You are in a very different situation than I. I don’t know if you’ll feel the way I do, but I wasn’t excited until my boy was born. I still love seeing him light up when he sees me come inside after tending to the garden or the animals. I look forward to teaching him about life but for now it’s all giggles, smiles, and him watching every thing I do.
Remember that you are going to be his role model whether you want him to look up to you or not. Show him how an intelligent man handles this delicate situation with grace and dignity. It’ll be a challenge, but don’t try to force a relationship with the mother if you two can’t get along. Better to be separate but amicable than together and violent.
Good Luck. The womb I put babies in has denied me all access to my children successfully for almost 6 years. Don't. EVER. File for Divorce. EVER. Just stay married on paper no matter what.
RFK jr said that his group showed that immunizations are formulated to cause allergies.
Gist: The toxins added to immunizations are to trigger an immune response to the "virus/invader" or whatever that the vaccine is supposed give protection for. However, the toxins (aluminum in most cases now) are not designed for any one "invader".
For example, getting a vaccination and then going for ice cream could create an ice cream allergy. Or a latex glove touching the skin after an immunization could give a latex allergy, etc.
Everything I have researched says to wait until kids are 3 1/2 - at least - to start vaccinations. If it is possible to delay even longer, then do that.
Vaccinations definitely should be one of the things to discuss early on.
[ - ] frankenham [op] 1 point 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 23:23:19 ago (+1/-0)
It is very exciting, but I also slightly despise the child's mother. I know ultimately it'll be a great experience but there's some things that I'm not looking forward to.
Our relationship didn't end horribly necessarily, we were together for 10 months but the last few months things just started to fade. I saw traits in her that I didn't like and it made me lose interest in her romantically. The breakup was pretty mutual and easy, I actually felt relieved afterwards because it had been a long time coming.
She isn't political but she's still pretty indirectly liberal- pro; abortion, gay, trans, diversity.. Got the 1st jab to keep her job, she's very materialistic etc etc.., and then there's me who's visits voat. We're just very different in many ways, which is one of the reasons we figured long term we probably wouldn't work
[ - ] Epictetus 1 point 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 07:34:17 ago (+1/-0)
My wife and I were both like that to some extent. Having a kid changes that for most, and having a parent already on the far right is a big step forward for coming around. I'd do what you can to patch it up and make it work.
I know people who were married to non whites before becoming white activists, and now the wives are nazis too.
My wife was pretty blue when I met her. I was too for that matter. Over the course of a few years of an occasional headline and an honest question she is actually pretty far right/libertarian. It's the long game.
She is a great mom.
I am a great dad for that matter. I make waffles, we go to the park, we go to the plant store.. lots of fun all around. If you have a hospital birth watch for that pitocin shit. Makes your abs scrunch up and can be dangerous. I caught them trying to give it to my wife without consent. Nearly caused a scene. Dont listen to the negative people. There will be hard moments but they won't last long. Enjoy everything while you can.
I’m sorry to hear that. To be honest, motherhood changes everything (if you’re a good person at heart) too. Maybe you’ll see something better after she has the baby. And I can 100% attest to being a left-leaning retard who changed her tune; it is possible. Just keep an open mind, maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the woman she becomes throughout this process. Best wishes to you!
You want a conservative chick that fucks before you both determine a good match. She wants a conservative man and thinks he wont hang around unless she fucks him. Mutually exclusive expectations, but very common today. Water under the bridge now, just pointing it out for you to think about.
Are your parents still married? Is this her first pregnancy and or birth? How old are you both? Is there another man in her life? Has she told you that shes keeping the pregnancy? Raising the baby alone? Can you revisit the relationship despite her political beliefs? If so, can you both remain monogamous?
Answer the above, it wont dox you, and Ill give you the best advice you could imagine.
[ - ] Epictetus 1 point 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 07:26:12 ago (+1/-0)
My advice for your situation, which doesn't seem optimal.
Get another kid in her as soon as you can. Then another. Keep her busy with kids until she is out of the stupid girl phase and has grown into the mom phase. Be supportive of her, help her when you can, and don't come home in a bad mood.
The first kid will be rough for her and she will be stressed. Once they are at school age it becomes easier on her, and if you can get two or three to that age and convince her to homeschool, she will end up loving the life.
Infants will not allow sleep. There will be a six to twelve month period that they are good and cute. Followed by a two to three year period that they are total assholes. By six years they should shape up, provided they're not ADHD or autistic or fucked up by shitty parenting.
Probably a poor comparison but I got a kitten 1.5 years ago. The first couple months they're adorable, but after that they become total hell raisers and climbed up everything and torn everything a part and constantly made messes. Now the cat is older and is slowly calming down
I guess getting the cat was a soft course for what was coming my way soon after..
Once you're a dad, you're a dad for life. No going back. Most of these other comments are very good. However, I haven't seen it mentioned yet: Everybody will have advice for you. You don't have to take all of it. Be gracious, they're all trying to help; but in the end, it's your kid.
this is why you shouldn't be screwing around prior to marriage. people sneer at the idea of traditional family values, but your situation is exactly why those values exist.
anyway, now that you are in this situation, you need to do all you can to make it better. life is no longer about you, but now your life is all about your family. you come second to your family.
about your woman. you need to patch it up with her and be a good man, father and husband. this isn't about you and romance and muh feelings. this is about making the best possible environment for your child (children?) to grow up in. if she is abandoned by you, then she will turn to the gubmint for a "husband" and become a cum-dumpster with a string of boyfriends and your kid will majorly suffer the consequences.
you can steer her in the right direction, but it will take work and time. be strong, firm, but be calm and gentle. don't be the tyrant king, but stick to your guns and weather the storm she goes through in a calm manner and she will eventually come to your way of thinking. when she does, don't be a dick and rub it in her face, but ALWAYS re-enforce her good words, actions, thoughts with positive comments or actions. This will drive her even further in the good direction. don't fill your pride with "i'm right, you're wrong" kinda crap, but take every opportunity to steer her further towards the right in a positive manner.
the biggest thing is showing her abortion is wrong, as this will be the gateway for showing all other lefty things are wrong. this will be easy now that she is pregnant. don't approach this as "you're wrong!!!". but be kind and gentle and do things like showing her the ultrasound and say that is why you are pro-life. once she is going in the right direction, your job is to continue to reassure her and re-enforce that decision and path.
about your kid(s). you are not a king. you are more of a referee. i have 4 kids, and i don't consider myself an expert, but i do have some experience. DONT let them watch TV. if you have to have TV, put a nature documentary on or some real learning thing like ABCs or phonics or math or whatever. EVERY parent we know that gave unfettered access to TV or internet is now having MAJOR issues with their kids: gay, transgender, drugs, failure to launch, etc.
just like with your woman, you interact with kids in a strong, firm, but gentle and kind way. you are the boss, but you don't need to get loud and angry and forceful. when you say no, stick to your guns and keep it up. kids will ALWAYS test you and test the boundaries. that is their job. READ to your kids, TALK to your kids. recognize they are little people, not robots that automatically do what you tell them to do.
when your woman sees you as a good father/husband/provider, she will naturally cling to you. and this will help you push her even further towards the right path. she has the instinct of mothering and needing a good husband, you can use that to get her on the right path.
kids and marriage are WORK. but you CAN do it. it isn't rocket science, but you do need to sacrifice for your family. the rewards later in life will be IMMENSE, and you will be SO thankful you did the work, but it is not easy in the beginning.
As a father of two kids under 3, I have to say it hasn’t been without it’s challenges. Loss of sleep and time are just a few of the drawbacks of the deal. But I wouldn’t trade them for how much I love my kids. I disagree with some comments here saying that under 2 it’s horrible. I actually think the opposite. The kids change and grow SO much those first two years and watching the month to month progression was beautiful and I cherished it. I love the way my sons look at me and I would say by the time they reach their teens they want nothing to do with you, but we will see. It hasn’t been easy, but time goes too fast to not enjoy. It’s your one life you have treasure your kids.
i absolutely love watching their personality develop in these early years. getting to know who the little tike is inside, and helping them grow is absolutely awesome.
You're going to be responsible for raising another human, brother. Think of all the things that you wish you had for better development and do that for them
The situation is honestly pretty shitty and I'm nowhere near as excited as I should be.
That’s pretty sad to read, ngl. Why are you not excited? Are you black? Why did you get yourself in a bad situation? Why did you have sex outside of a marriage?
You sound retarded and not mature. Grow up and grow a pair. Get your shit together and give the baby the best of everything you are capable of. He already has a shit start to life by being born out of wedlock. He is pretty much going to be raised by a single mother, all thanks to your myopic thinking and your pursuit of momentary hedonistic pleasures. You have made a mistake, now man up and own up to it.
Having said that, children are the best. Babies are hard work, no doubt, but when you see and hold that little angel for the first time, all your worries will melt away and you will fall in love.
Since you are a degenerate, you won’t be living with the baby, so all the hard work will be done by his mother. She will become a raging monster after sleepless nights for months. You think you despise her now, wait till she has to do all the baby care ALONE. She will also eventually take your baby away from you and block you from seeing him. You fucked up and for your mistakes, the innocent little baby will be having a bad childhood.
[ + ] localsal
[ - ] localsal 18 points 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 22:58:17 ago (+18/-0)
A lot depends on your home life situation. Stay at home mom is different than both working. Stay at home dad is different too.
I hate the first two years, or thereabouts. Not that they aren't fun or enjoyable, but they are terrible to me. I am not a good fit for a parasitic relationship, which is how I describe the first two years.
I love teaching and seeing the learning - which happens a lot, and is something that I would never give up to a daycare or nanny - but when the little shit gets demanding and doesn't know what it wants is when I start to lose my patience.
Spend the money and engage every child safety gimmick on the planet. Kids are magnetically attracted to danger, and child-proofing your house is a good way to take away some of the worry.
You will learn quickly how to handle the kid, and for a while they aren't able to move around too much. After which, they seem to be able to absorb a lot more damage than one would believe LOL.
Kids understand and want to communicate pretty early. Amazingly, simple sign language is something they can be taught easily. Hungry, full, wet, messy, happy, sad - simple concepts to allow some idea of what they need. Don't expect finger level finesse, but big arm and hand motions are definitely doable.
After 2 years old, I can't love my kids enough. They become sponges. They want to learn anything and everything their little brains can think on. Annoying? yes. Fulfilling? Also yes (for me). I am naturally curious also, so we have fun working through their lessons and ideas.
Sleep, privacy, bathroom time, general behaviors are all off the table with kids. I have been called out by my kids so many times for my language and thinking. Guess my kids don't like hypocrites just as much as me LOL.
You can have all the plans in the world, but like war and boxing, plans fall apart with that first contact. Communicate extensively. Make it a point to talk with the mom-to-be, and mom afterwards, about anything and everything she needs. Make the first 5-6 months all about her and the baby. Let her unwind and escape from the stress every so often - however you think to do that. Relatives for a night are a godsend. Use every opportunity to take breaks.
You'll survive, it will be fun, it will be maddening. Communicate.
YMMV.
[ + ] Fjjdjd
[ - ] Fjjdjd 2 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 09:44:23 ago (+2/-0)
Do not give in to tv or video games. The first 8 years especially. My son gets maybe an hr a week of tv. Get a golden retriever when he or she is two and walk it three times a day woth the kid. It will keep you and kid outside and active and is good for anxiety.
[ + ] AugustineOfHippo2
[ - ] AugustineOfHippo2 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 09:54:33 ago (+0/-0)
dog is nice, but better to do constructive things like fix the car together, garden together, clean the bathroom together. teach the value and habit of work.
[ + ] frankenham
[ - ] frankenham [op] 1 point 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 23:13:07 ago (+1/-0)
I'm excited for the baby in a sense, just not so much in the situation it's being brought into. Having a child is crazy enough on it's own, but then having a baby outside of a relationship and in between two homes is going to be challenging
[ + ] localsal
[ - ] localsal 2 points 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 23:29:15 ago (+2/-0)
You are a rare one to step up in that situation though, so give yourself some credit.
On the plus side, you may not have to worry about losing too much sleep, depending on the situation. And with 2 sets of grandparents there could be times to offload the baby to get some sleep.
Be aware that there will probably be drama introduced due to the relationship - both internally and externally. Conflict can be easily taught to a baby and toddler - and having the mom or dad use the kid as a weapon is never fun. Disagreements over ideology can totally be reflected in the behavior of kids.
Not knowing the specifics, it is hard to say how much time you will spend, so it is important to try to communicate how much each parent will give/provide. Get comfortable talking through the drama caused by all the changes, along with sleep-deprivation, stress, loss of individuality, etc right now, so that when it happens, there is no hesitancy. Be upfront in what you want to provide during the first two years especially. Thinking long term - also start talking through the important aspects of education, living arrangements, travel, etc. but those can be done much more on the fly, when sleep returns and cooler heads also return.
I can't give much help with the disparate living and childcare, only to say communication will most likely be the best avenue. Hate is a wasted and useless emotion in these types of discussions. Any disagreements on major issues should be laid out, and that might set the groundwork for how much involvement you should have or need.
[ + ] Redhairin
[ - ] Redhairin 0 points 2.1 yearsApr 2, 2022 23:06:40 ago (+0/-0)
https://www.investopedia.com/splitting-property-after-a-common-law-marriage-5202062
...it could be better, but could be waaay worse. You're on the hook for child support, but at least not divorce-rape and alimony....keep it that way. You will have to deal with the kid only when you come to visit, so that is way better than 24/7. Dealing with a kid will teach you patience over and over again for 18+ years...but patience can serve you in all areas of life, so that ain't a bad thing.
[ + ] Breeder
[ - ] Breeder 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 01:34:32 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] localsal
[ - ] localsal 1 point 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 02:13:56 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Fascinus
[ - ] Fascinus 7 points 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 22:55:32 ago (+7/-0)
Fuck that whole "say goodbye to sleep" bullshit. Say goodbye to *all* of the things that embody living for yourself. You won't miss them.
Yes, you sacrifice and, in the end, you won't care.
Children offer you the greatest gift that anyone could ever offer another; to know love that permits you to truly live selflessly for another.
It may take a while and, when the time comes, surrender your heart to the moment. You will forever be changed for the better.
[ + ] frankenham
[ - ] frankenham [op] 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 23:16:24 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 01:37:13 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] 93sr20det
[ - ] 93sr20det 6 points 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 23:09:00 ago (+6/-0)
[ + ] Fjjdjd
[ - ] Fjjdjd 2 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 09:46:43 ago (+2/-0)
I laughed
[ + ] 2Drunk
[ - ] 2Drunk 6 points 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 22:42:30 ago (+6/-0)
[ + ] frankenham
[ - ] frankenham [op] 1 point 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 22:54:05 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Cantaloupe
[ - ] Cantaloupe 3 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 01:40:38 ago (+3/-0)*
The main thing is to have a very good bond from birth, be around a lot or they won't really bond with you.
Be very trustworthy. If you make a very good relationship with your kid they will do well their whole life.
Try to be around a lot. You really have a short time with them. At about age three they can really interact, by about twelve their pretty much done with you.
Don't let a child cry out, that means they learned nobody will help them, they will be untrusting, unable to love.
When you kid tries to talk or do anything, be very positive, it will encourage more. Never have on the TV, never give them candy.
Remember though that your kid will know of you in the womb, they are taking in their surroundings, if the child hears you voice, the child will associate you with the womb experience, and your kid will have a close bond with you.
You kid and you will eventually form a strong bond of love.
To help a child sleep, white noise machine, dishwasher, hair dryer, child safe fan, rocking chair.
To destress, eat, good smells, stimulate senses.
Your brain will change to handle parenting.
Not every kid will sleep in a crib.
Using intrinsic motivation and natural consequences not command parenting or hitting. You cannot be there all the time, so kids have to know you have told them the truth.
Just read about the relationship, that makes it harder. Consider if the relationship can be patched up or if it really cannot. It really takes two parents.
[ + ] cb1
[ - ] cb1 2 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 08:54:50 ago (+2/-0)
Changing diapers, waking up in the middle of the night, it all becomes second nature.
One last thing that I learned from old voat before i became a dad, "crying it out" and leaving your child in a crib before the fall asleep is utter jewish nonsense. You MUST sleep with your baby once he or she is old enough that there is no risk of smothering. 6 months or so.
[ + ] Her0n
[ - ] Her0n 2 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 07:54:49 ago (+2/-0)
You are in a very different situation than I. I don’t know if you’ll feel the way I do, but I wasn’t excited until my boy was born. I still love seeing him light up when he sees me come inside after tending to the garden or the animals. I look forward to teaching him about life but for now it’s all giggles, smiles, and him watching every thing I do.
Remember that you are going to be his role model whether you want him to look up to you or not. Show him how an intelligent man handles this delicate situation with grace and dignity. It’ll be a challenge, but don’t try to force a relationship with the mother if you two can’t get along. Better to be separate but amicable than together and violent.
[ + ] rhy
[ - ] rhy 2 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 07:40:17 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ]deleted
[ - ] deleted 2 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 00:29:41 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ]deleted
[ - ] deleted 2 points 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 23:06:53 ago (+2/-0)
[ + ] frankenham
[ - ] frankenham [op] 1 point 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 23:19:18 ago (+1/-0)
Cars, creeps, choking hazards.. discovering the hard way they're allergic to a certain food.
On the bright side I see idiots who are parents and their kids survive and turn out o.k., if they can do it so can I, I suppose
[ + ] localsal
[ - ] localsal 4 points 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 23:39:34 ago (+4/-0)
RFK jr said that his group showed that immunizations are formulated to cause allergies.
Gist: The toxins added to immunizations are to trigger an immune response to the "virus/invader" or whatever that the vaccine is supposed give protection for. However, the toxins (aluminum in most cases now) are not designed for any one "invader".
For example, getting a vaccination and then going for ice cream could create an ice cream allergy. Or a latex glove touching the skin after an immunization could give a latex allergy, etc.
Everything I have researched says to wait until kids are 3 1/2 - at least - to start vaccinations. If it is possible to delay even longer, then do that.
Vaccinations definitely should be one of the things to discuss early on.
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 1 point 2.1 yearsMar 26, 2022 01:22:18 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] SilentByAssociation
[ - ] SilentByAssociation 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 26, 2022 12:02:26 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] deleted
[ - ] deleted 1 point 2.1 yearsMar 26, 2022 14:45:20 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] xmasskull
[ - ] xmasskull 2 points 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 22:59:19 ago (+2/-0)
Your life will forever be changed(for the better)embrace it,use your best judgement;you'll be great.
[ + ] frankenham
[ - ] frankenham [op] 1 point 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 23:23:19 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Special_Prosecutor
[ - ] Special_Prosecutor 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 01:01:00 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] frankenham
[ - ] frankenham [op] 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 02:37:00 ago (+0/-0)
She isn't political but she's still pretty indirectly liberal- pro; abortion, gay, trans, diversity.. Got the 1st jab to keep her job, she's very materialistic etc etc.., and then there's me who's visits voat. We're just very different in many ways, which is one of the reasons we figured long term we probably wouldn't work
[ + ] Epictetus
[ - ] Epictetus 1 point 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 07:34:17 ago (+1/-0)
I know people who were married to non whites before becoming white activists, and now the wives are nazis too.
[ + ] MaryXmas
[ - ] MaryXmas 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 05:34:41 ago (+0/-0)
She is a great mom.
I am a great dad for that matter. I make waffles, we go to the park, we go to the plant store.. lots of fun all around.
If you have a hospital birth watch for that pitocin shit. Makes your abs scrunch up and can be dangerous. I caught them trying to give it to my wife without consent. Nearly caused a scene.
Dont listen to the negative people. There will be hard moments but they won't last long. Enjoy everything while you can.
[ + ] dingbat
[ - ] dingbat 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 09:31:12 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Special_Prosecutor
[ - ] Special_Prosecutor 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 12:52:23 ago (+0/-0)
She wants a conservative man and thinks he wont hang around unless she fucks him.
Mutually exclusive expectations, but very common today.
Water under the bridge now, just pointing it out for you to think about.
Are your parents still married?
Is this her first pregnancy and or birth?
How old are you both?
Is there another man in her life?
Has she told you that shes keeping the pregnancy? Raising the baby alone?
Can you revisit the relationship despite her political beliefs? If so, can you both remain monogamous?
Answer the above, it wont dox you, and Ill give you the best advice you could imagine.
[ + ] heraclitus
[ - ] heraclitus 2 points 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 22:49:48 ago (+3/-1)
[ + ] frankenham
[ - ] frankenham [op] 1 point 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 22:52:31 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] Cantaloupe
[ - ] Cantaloupe 3 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 01:59:04 ago (+3/-0)
[ + ] Epictetus
[ - ] Epictetus 1 point 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 07:26:12 ago (+1/-0)
Get another kid in her as soon as you can. Then another. Keep her busy with kids until she is out of the stupid girl phase and has grown into the mom phase. Be supportive of her, help her when you can, and don't come home in a bad mood.
The first kid will be rough for her and she will be stressed. Once they are at school age it becomes easier on her, and if you can get two or three to that age and convince her to homeschool, she will end up loving the life.
[ + ] SilentByAssociation
[ - ] SilentByAssociation 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 26, 2022 12:04:01 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Spaceman84
[ - ] Spaceman84 1 point 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 23:11:44 ago (+1/-0)
[ + ] frankenham
[ - ] frankenham [op] 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 24, 2022 23:21:55 ago (+0/-0)
I guess getting the cat was a soft course for what was coming my way soon after..
[ + ] Gowithit
[ - ] Gowithit 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 14:43:49 ago (+0/-0)
Hmm egh broke no money .damn sure don't think about doing anything for yourself.
Hahahaha thanks for asking . I really wasn't expecting him to answer.
[ + ] Stonkmar
[ - ] Stonkmar 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 11:50:32 ago (+0/-0)
Everybody will have advice for you. You don't have to take all of it.
Be gracious, they're all trying to help; but in the end, it's your kid.
[ + ]deleted
[ - ] deleted 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 11:27:40 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] AugustineOfHippo2
[ - ] AugustineOfHippo2 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 09:49:47 ago (+0/-0)
anyway, now that you are in this situation, you need to do all you can to make it better. life is no longer about you, but now your life is all about your family. you come second to your family.
about your woman.
you need to patch it up with her and be a good man, father and husband. this isn't about you and romance and muh feelings. this is about making the best possible environment for your child (children?) to grow up in. if she is abandoned by you, then she will turn to the gubmint for a "husband" and become a cum-dumpster with a string of boyfriends and your kid will majorly suffer the consequences.
you can steer her in the right direction, but it will take work and time. be strong, firm, but be calm and gentle. don't be the tyrant king, but stick to your guns and weather the storm she goes through in a calm manner and she will eventually come to your way of thinking. when she does, don't be a dick and rub it in her face, but ALWAYS re-enforce her good words, actions, thoughts with positive comments or actions. This will drive her even further in the good direction. don't fill your pride with "i'm right, you're wrong" kinda crap, but take every opportunity to steer her further towards the right in a positive manner.
the biggest thing is showing her abortion is wrong, as this will be the gateway for showing all other lefty things are wrong. this will be easy now that she is pregnant. don't approach this as "you're wrong!!!". but be kind and gentle and do things like showing her the ultrasound and say that is why you are pro-life. once she is going in the right direction, your job is to continue to reassure her and re-enforce that decision and path.
about your kid(s).
you are not a king. you are more of a referee. i have 4 kids, and i don't consider myself an expert, but i do have some experience. DONT let them watch TV. if you have to have TV, put a nature documentary on or some real learning thing like ABCs or phonics or math or whatever. EVERY parent we know that gave unfettered access to TV or internet is now having MAJOR issues with their kids: gay, transgender, drugs, failure to launch, etc.
just like with your woman, you interact with kids in a strong, firm, but gentle and kind way. you are the boss, but you don't need to get loud and angry and forceful. when you say no, stick to your guns and keep it up. kids will ALWAYS test you and test the boundaries. that is their job. READ to your kids, TALK to your kids. recognize they are little people, not robots that automatically do what you tell them to do.
when your woman sees you as a good father/husband/provider, she will naturally cling to you. and this will help you push her even further towards the right path. she has the instinct of mothering and needing a good husband, you can use that to get her on the right path.
kids and marriage are WORK. but you CAN do it. it isn't rocket science, but you do need to sacrifice for your family. the rewards later in life will be IMMENSE, and you will be SO thankful you did the work, but it is not easy in the beginning.
best of luck to you.
[ + ] dingbat
[ - ] dingbat 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 09:34:07 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Autocomment
[ - ] Autocomment 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 08:56:05 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] AugustineOfHippo2
[ - ] AugustineOfHippo2 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 09:56:09 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Scrimmmy
[ - ] Scrimmmy 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 07:39:30 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Wwwwwww
[ - ] Wwwwwww 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 07:23:06 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] big_fat_dangus
[ - ] big_fat_dangus 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 06:13:33 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] RecycledElectrons
[ - ] RecycledElectrons 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 04:14:57 ago (+0/-0)
[ + ] Ragnar
[ - ] Ragnar -2 points 2.1 yearsMar 25, 2022 08:26:28 ago (+0/-2)
That’s pretty sad to read, ngl. Why are you not excited? Are you black? Why did you get yourself in a bad situation? Why did you have sex outside of a marriage?
You sound retarded and not mature. Grow up and grow a pair. Get your shit together and give the baby the best of everything you are capable of. He already has a shit start to life by being born out of wedlock. He is pretty much going to be raised by a single mother, all thanks to your myopic thinking and your pursuit of momentary hedonistic pleasures. You have made a mistake, now man up and own up to it.
Having said that, children are the best. Babies are hard work, no doubt, but when you see and hold that little angel for the first time, all your worries will melt away and you will fall in love.
Since you are a degenerate, you won’t be living with the baby, so all the hard work will be done by his mother. She will become a raging monster after sleepless nights for months. You think you despise her now, wait till she has to do all the baby care ALONE. She will also eventually take your baby away from you and block you from seeing him. You fucked up and for your mistakes, the innocent little baby will be having a bad childhood.