Nephew's 21st Birthday - Upgoat

Nephew's 21st Birthday
submitted by GrayDragon to funny 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 08:53:22 ago (+23/-0) (funny)

My nephew turned 21 recently. He just picked up a bottle of rum even though he is not a drinker. He had two rum and cokes and passes out. I'm wondering why he is a failure.

I find out the next morning: he listened to some assholes online saying to pour four ounces into each glass. He did about "eight drinks" in two glasses in around an hour. Fucking moron. No wonder he passed out as a new drinker.

Welcome to the club!

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[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 6 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 08:56:00 ago (+6/-0)

Drinking is a skill, you learn to do it right after trial and error. Fuck, I'm 42 and I'm still trying to figure out how to do it right.

[ + ] GrayDragon

[ - ] GrayDragon [op] 4 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 08:59:02 ago (+4/-0)

Yeah, 49 here and still forget the limits on rare occasions.

[ + ] PeckerwoodPerry

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 4 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 09:01:27 ago (+4/-0)

I work at a bar, and it's acceptable to drink at work. My coworker brought in some moonshine last night, still up and ready to go stand in my wagie cage.

[ + ] GrayDragon

[ - ] GrayDragon [op] 2 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 09:07:46 ago (+2/-0)*

Ugh, moonshine. My older brother somehow found some of that ...

That'll make you blind! Bankors(sp?) rum tastes like heaven compared to moonshine.

E: Senior Week, decades ago, I brought a large jug of Bankor's Rum to make rum lemon slushies. Boy, was that a failure. We would drink anything being under age. The bottle of Bankor's rum came back with us (why we just didn't throw it out, no clue).

[ + ] PeckerwoodPerry

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 2 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 09:21:44 ago (+3/-1)

It was actually really nice. Closer to a cinnamon apple brandy than straight Kentucky shine. Between that and a couple beers from the bar it made my disposition positivity charming and warm. Couldn't sleep when I got home, so now I'm running on empty, but fuck it. The job ain't going to do itself, now is it?

[ + ] KyleIsThisTall

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 0 points 2.3 yearsMar 6, 2022 21:16:18 ago (+0/-0)

You got apple jack. That's not moonshine. Easy to make. Get some fresh unpasturized, no preservative apple cider, add yeast and sugar to boost the alcohol, let ferment for at least 10 days, put it in a freezer until the water freezes on the top. remove the ice and keep freezing it until there is no ice left.

[ + ] FalseRealityCheck

[ - ] FalseRealityCheck 1 point 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 13:04:34 ago (+1/-0)

We would drink anything being under age.

Reminds me of back in my HS days. My buddy and I usually drank beer, but we got the great idea that it would be cheaper to drink hard liquor. We chipped together and got a bottle of Cutty Sark whiskey. That shit was so indescribably terrible that I remember the horrible smell to this day. The only way we could choke it down was to mix it with a shit ton of soda. We suffered through several weekends before we finally finished off the bottle because why waste booze? I'm surprised that shit didn't give me AIDS.

[ + ] KyleIsThisTall

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 0 points 2.3 yearsMar 6, 2022 21:18:22 ago (+0/-0)

Cutty Sark is mid-range Scotch. You just don't like Scotch. You should have, yes, served cold with soda and lemon syrup, garnished with a candied fruit such as maraschino cherry.

[ + ] FalseRealityCheck

[ - ] FalseRealityCheck 0 points 2.3 yearsMar 6, 2022 21:57:17 ago (+0/-0)

You should have, yes, served cold with soda and lemon syrup, garnished with a candied fruit such as maraschino cherry.

Yes, exactly what a 17-year old would do while driving around in a Ford.

[ + ] KyleIsThisTall

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 0 points 2.3 yearsMar 6, 2022 22:00:09 ago (+0/-0)

lol you just didn't know

I sometimes drink bottom shelf warm from the bottle while listening to alt country like GG Allin's country album or Hank 3.

[ + ] FalseRealityCheck

[ - ] FalseRealityCheck 0 points 2.3 yearsMar 6, 2022 22:40:11 ago (+0/-0)

What I did learn, years later, is there is a big difference between that CS swill and a 25-year-old Scotch. Not that the 25YO Scotch was actually good, but that it wasn't paint stripper shit like CS.

[ + ] KyleIsThisTall

[ - ] KyleIsThisTall 0 points 2.3 yearsMar 6, 2022 22:57:14 ago (+0/-0)

old cocktails were made because of cheap swill
a strong ginger soda (Vernors is a good start) with a citrus wedge (I like grapefruit) will allow you to choke it down without ruining a good sipping whiskey

[ + ] PostWallHelena

[ - ] PostWallHelena 1 point 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 16:12:34 ago (+1/-0)

The way to do it right is to stop.

[ + ] PeckerwoodPerry

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 2 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 17:25:28 ago (+2/-0)

If that's the case I'm happy doing it wrong.

[ + ] GrayDragon

[ - ] GrayDragon [op] 0 points 2.3 yearsMar 9, 2022 07:46:30 ago (+0/-0)

The only winning move is not to listen to others. Or something like that.

[ + ] PostWallHelena

[ - ] PostWallHelena 0 points 2.3 yearsMar 9, 2022 08:57:03 ago (+0/-0)

The only winning move is not to play

~WOPR

Applies to tic tac toe, thermonuclear war and apparently drinking.

[ - ] Broc_Liath 5 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 10:00:05 ago (+5/-0)

I rarely drink anymore, but I used to drink like that in college, wouldn't recommend it.

[ - ] FacelessOne 5 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 09:18:32 ago (+5/-0)

Good man pours like me, hell learn to power through!

[ + ] GrayDragon

[ - ] GrayDragon [op] 6 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 09:21:17 ago (+6/-0)

Yesterday was game night. The pussy didn't drink a damn thing. WEAK!

Never trust a man that can't drink two days in a row.

[ + ] DukeofRaul

[ - ] DukeofRaul 8 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 10:02:21 ago (+8/-0)

The trick is to drink milk to coat your uclers but if god rested on the 7th day so can my liver.

[ + ] xmasskull

[ - ] xmasskull 0 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 23:32:14 ago (+0/-0)

Tv.Batman did the same thing back in 1966.

[ + ] FacelessOne

[ - ] FacelessOne 4 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 09:24:04 ago (+4/-0)

Well ya he was still drunk from the day before!

[ - ] BaboonSaint 2 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 16:16:03 ago (+2/-0)

First time I drank it was a half a 26 of rum, was quite drunk.

[ - ] thebearfromstartrack4 2 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 12:10:56 ago (+2/-0)

I lost the urge (effect) of alcohol, i guess it's been two years now. I NEVER learned ANYTHING useful while drinking. I NEVER solved any of my problems. I GOT more. I Think it may have been the revelation of some TRUTH after my mom died. I don't know. I don't make any connection. I just lost it. Now I don't drink (Occasionally (months apart) to SEE if the feeling has changed). But I'm HAPPIER for it. I DON'T miss those hangovers (or regrets). I definately DON'T miss the embarrassment (remembering what I DID), etc.

[ + ] FalseRealityCheck

[ - ] FalseRealityCheck 1 point 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 13:06:45 ago (+1/-0)

There's no problem in life that the consumption of alcohol or drugs can't make worse.

[ - ] RedBarchetta 2 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 11:30:23 ago (+2/-0)

21 and he's having his first drink? Fookin' 'Ell, why he wait so long?

[ + ] FacelessOne

[ - ] FacelessOne 2 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 12:12:47 ago (+2/-0)

Somebody's mom drank while they were pregnant

[ - ] PostWallHelena 2 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 11:26:30 ago (+2/-0)

My opinion of drinking has changed greatly in the last few years. I no longer consider moderate social drinking or occassional drunkeness as neutral behavior.

It is inefficient behavior, and it encourages white people to be less white. Obviously its addictive.

In my youth, I wasted so much time and energy toward drinking that I could have put toward something productive.

It doesn’t “relieve stress”, it just relieves the mild withdrawal symptoms that every casual drinker has.

Whites need an edge. They do not need more empty dopamine hits from the multiple vices that globohomo offers us to corrupt us and enslave us. Please to not be an encouraging influence in this young man’s drinking habits. Whites need to stay frosty.

BTW studies have shown people with blue eyes are more susceptible to alchohol addiction.

[ + ] diggernicks

[ - ] diggernicks 1 point 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 12:34:20 ago (+1/-0)

Once a crazy wine aunt

Always a crazy wine aunt

[ + ] FacelessOne

[ - ] FacelessOne 1 point 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 12:59:02 ago (+1/-0)

Careful shell sick her attack house cats on you!

[ + ] diggernicks

[ - ] diggernicks 1 point 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 14:08:35 ago (+1/-0)

Fuck

Those things carry some nasty diseases I better run!

[ + ] PostWallHelena

[ - ] PostWallHelena 1 point 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 21:41:21 ago (+1/-0)

Dogs.

[ - ] account deleted by user 0 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 14:43:01 ago (+0/-0)

account deleted by user

[ - ] Empire_of_the_Mind 0 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 13:10:55 ago (+0/-0)

imagine not knowing how to drink by the time you were 21

[ + ] PostWallHelena

[ - ] PostWallHelena 0 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 16:14:11 ago (+0/-0)

Its an encouraging sign actually.

[ - ] bobdole9 0 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 11:15:32 ago (+0/-0)

Switch to gin to lessen the chance for hangovers. Don't bother with beer. Make sure you ice your drink.

The three tips that got me through college in Wisconsin.

Was it spiced or white rum?

[ + ] FalseRealityCheck

[ - ] FalseRealityCheck 0 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 13:09:50 ago (+0/-0)

...college in Wisconsin.

And you didn't drink beer? Do they allow you back into the state?

[ + ] bobdole9

[ - ] bobdole9 1 point 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 13:20:43 ago (+1/-0)

New Glarus Brewing is the only stuff worthwhile. Get Spotted Cow when you're in the state.

Having a gluten intolerance gets you off the hook. I tend to give as much shit as I get with the beer snobs; none of them can stand gin apparently.

https://newglarusbrewing.com/beers/ourbeers/beercategory/year-round-beers

[ - ] deleted 0 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 11:00:34 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ + ] bobdole9

[ - ] bobdole9 1 point 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 11:19:14 ago (+1/-0)

Shots of 151 was a blast in college. Stomachs blasting everywhere. Stupid petite girls think they can keep up with guys three times their size.

[ + ] Deleted

[ - ] deleted 0 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 16:00:57 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ + ] bobdole9

[ - ] bobdole9 0 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 21:20:54 ago (+0/-0)

Yeah, that checks out. Had a friend (female) drink 151 neat in a pint glass. Got about halfway before heaving. Ended up getting her stomach pumped at 4am.

Living an interesting life creates interesting stories.

[ + ] Deleted

[ - ] deleted 1 point 2.3 yearsMar 6, 2022 17:11:21 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] account deleted by user 0 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 10:06:18 ago (+1/-1)*

account deleted by user

[ + ] PostWallHelena

[ - ] PostWallHelena 1 point 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 11:14:27 ago (+1/-0)

its become souless like white women and niggers

Well it becomes clear why you hate WW so much since your were obviously birthed by a drunkard that let you run around like a savage and get blitzed at 11.

Its called neglect. Its what niggers do. Sounds like your whole family is a pack of niggers.

You should hang out more. From a rafter.

[ + ] FalseRealityCheck

[ - ] FalseRealityCheck 2 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 13:12:15 ago (+2/-0)

Well it becomes clear why you hate WW so much...

It's not just WW: He hates everybody.

[ - ] diggernicks -1 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 08:54:28 ago (+5/-6)

Only fags drink alcohol

[ + ] PeckerwoodPerry

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 9 points 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 08:57:30 ago (+9/-0)

Aww, did someone abuse their privilege to drink? Are you a friend of Bill?

Fucking faggot. Nobody likes a quitter

[ + ] 1Icemonkey

[ - ] 1Icemonkey 1 point 2.3 yearsMar 5, 2022 09:50:40 ago (+1/-0)

Fuck Bill. I went through that many years ago. Bunch of losers.