I just bought more toilet paper - Upgoat

With 1/4 the amount of toilet paper you use to wipe yourself. And if it was the apocalypse and we somehow still had water flowing, air dry. And if there is no water or toilet paper, the same way our ancestors did it.

[ + ] deleted

[ - ] deleted 1 point 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 18:03:00 ago (+1/-0)

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[ + ] xmasskull

[ - ] xmasskull 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 2, 2022 01:44:43 ago (+0/-0)

dirt wipe.

[ + ] Clubberlang

[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 20:25:25 ago (+1/-0)

The Russian escort blows on your asshole after your done

[ + ] Yargiyankooli

[ - ] Yargiyankooli 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 20:27:06 ago (+0/-0)

Soon to be Ukrainian refugee toilet maid

[ + ] Clubberlang

[ - ] Clubberlang 1 point 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 20:31:46 ago (+1/-0)

Nah I'll keep the Russian don't want jews in my house.

[ + ] QuasiVoat

[ - ] QuasiVoat 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 22:24:38 ago (+0/-0)

Hey man, it's good to see you. Didn't recognize you without your unicorn thing.

[ + ] account deleted by user

[ - ] account deleted by user [op] 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 20:37:23 ago (+0/-0)

account deleted by user

[ + ] QuasiVoat

[ - ] QuasiVoat 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 22:22:48 ago (+0/-0)

Time.

[ + ] Blackpowerwhitepowder

[ - ] Blackpowerwhitepowder 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 2, 2022 02:16:19 ago (+0/-0)

They made models that dry your hole and cheeks

[ + ] deleted

[ - ] deleted 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 17:38:32 ago (+0/-0)

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[ + ] Yargiyankooli

[ - ] Yargiyankooli 2 points 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 20:15:19 ago (+2/-0)

Nah it is a jet that shoots directly to your anus, I do position myself before starting it.

As a man with a hairy ass, I am now clean.

[ + ] deleted

[ - ] deleted 2 points 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 20:20:10 ago (+2/-0)

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[ + ] Yargiyankooli

[ - ] Yargiyankooli 1 point 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 20:26:09 ago (+1/-0)

I have never thought of this because it never splatters.

I guess it is a small concentrated stream, you ass has cheeks so it contains the splash, the distance between the starting point and the destination is short so that may help too.

It costs less than $50 to get a bidet online. I think you will never go back to smearing your shit into your asshole with paper again.

[ + ] deleted

[ - ] deleted 1 point 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 20:37:05 ago (+1/-0)

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[ + ] RecycledElectrons

[ - ] RecycledElectrons 1 point 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 20:44:08 ago (+1/-0)

No splatter. The stream is low-velocity, and at an angle so that it just cleans.

[ + ] Jiggggg

[ - ] Jiggggg 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 20:52:04 ago (+0/-0)

Yeah it's like it shoots water across your asshole, not directly into it

[ + ] Yargiyankooli

[ - ] Yargiyankooli 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 21:32:31 ago (+0/-0)

Except sometimes when I am feeling "not so fresh", I shoot directly in. OR if you are constipated, it works well in unclogging you. Haven't had that issue since I changed my diet and eliminated carbs

[ + ] 2017Fallout

[ - ] 2017Fallout 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 2, 2022 04:21:15 ago (+0/-0)

Unless you are doing a shit in your pants or have diarrhea your arse will not be dripping with shit. Splay your cheeks you monster

[ - ] FalseRealityCheck 2 points 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 23:08:41 ago (+2/-0)

I just wiped my ass; what a coincidence....

[ - ] RecycledElectrons 1 point 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 20:42:58 ago (+1/-0)

TP is made locally because it is expensive to ship high-bulk, low-value items.

Stock up on anything made in China or overseas. My diabetic test strips are made in the UK. Sino-russian submarines will stop that flow soon.

[ + ] deleted

[ - ] deleted 2 points 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 20:46:41 ago (+2/-0)

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[ - ] 2017Fallout 0 points 2.1 yearsMar 2, 2022 04:18:04 ago (+0/-0)

That made fucking laugh aloud. Thank you OP

[ - ] con77 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 20:17:24 ago (+0/-0)

Blaux hand held bidet

[ + ] deleted

[ - ] deleted 0 points 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 20:39:54 ago (+0/-0)

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[ + ] Jiggggg

[ - ] Jiggggg 1 point 2.2 yearsMar 1, 2022 20:52:55 ago (+1/-0)