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8

Here I sit .......

submitted by ghostofvoatspast to TellUpgoat 2.3 yearsJan 25, 2022 12:44:56 ago (+11/-3)     (TellUpgoat)

.....on my seat, l look below and see my feet. With a push I make a splash, in my toilet it hits with a crash. The air is pungent with a smell, here comes another, I let out a yell. With this gift comes some pain, next time fiber will ease my strain. To all of you I wish a good day, it is time for me to use my bidet.


16 comments block

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[ - ] UrCoolerOlderBrother 3 points 2.3 yearsJan 25, 2022 14:21:52 ago (+3/-0)

Here I sit, broken hearted.
I tried to shit, butt only farted...

[ - ] CRKT_M16Z 3 points 2.3 yearsJan 25, 2022 15:10:16 ago (+3/-0)

Then one day I took a chance,
Tried to fart and shit my pants.

[ - ] Monica 3 points 2.3 yearsJan 25, 2022 17:00:40 ago (+3/-0)

Now all dry and out of the shower,
I shit myself again in under an hour.

[ - ] con77 2 points 2.3 yearsJan 25, 2022 14:24:22 ago (+2/-0)

a once proud soldier

reduced to scat poems

not the man he was

[ - ] ghostofvoatspast [op] 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 25, 2022 14:56:39 ago (+2/-1)

Con is triggered. Hasn't happened in a while but as always I will give you a pass. I like ya. Also I was never proud of my service. I was proud for overcoming fear and helping my teammates. I looked at war as nothing but a deadly game. Pride is a weakness, it is ego. I'm am whatever I am and I like myself despite myself. Shit poems and all.

[ - ] calx 2 points 2.3 yearsJan 25, 2022 13:30:27 ago (+2/-0)

He who writes upon these walls
Rolls their shit into little balls
And he who reads those words of wit
Eats those little balls of shit

- Kurt Vonnegut

[ - ] AmazingFlightLizard 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 25, 2022 17:11:04 ago (+1/-0)

Best thing I ever saw in a porta potty was a paper that looked like a legit memorandum for record from the Army, mandating that to reduce blue water splash, turds over 6 inches in length must be manually lowered by hand.

[ - ] CRKT_M16Z 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 25, 2022 17:19:08 ago (+0/-0)

[ - ] Jiggggg 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 25, 2022 20:44:14 ago (+1/-0)

The comments on that video are great.

"Imagine catching your shit instead of making a ramp with your arm"

[ - ] ghostofvoatspast [op] 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 25, 2022 19:07:19 ago (+1/-1)

Ha ha ha

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 25, 2022 16:55:24 ago (+1/-0)

This whole thread has me giggling like a retard that just found a jelly bean in his pocket.

[ - ] scoopadoop 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 25, 2022 13:14:45 ago (+1/-0)

that was beautiful

[ - ] NeoNazirite 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 25, 2022 21:11:18 ago (+0/-0)

Oh shit. It's that poet guy

[ - ] Jiggggg 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 25, 2022 20:41:02 ago (+0/-0)

[ - ] HillarysBalls 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 25, 2022 15:23:44 ago (+0/-0)

Nice

[ - ] deleted 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 25, 2022 12:51:06 ago (+2/-2)

deleted