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A Greentext Story About Living In China That I Enjoyed

submitted by oldblo to funny 2.3 yearsJan 24, 2022 02:07:17 ago (+31/-4)     (funny)

Chink shills got mad and started yelling about Taiwan too so thats a bonus.

live in China
try to prepare breakfast but one of my 7 concubines drank the last of the leaded milk
get in car
car won't start because intake is clogged with a toddler's torso
oh yeah, forgot about that
pluck it out
car is still immobilized due to several human heads jamming up the wheel as well
no time to fix it, I'm late for work
use concubine #3's bicycle
bike is broken because it's chinese just like you
f@#*!
have to walk, I guess
put on standard outdoor chinese facemask
visibility is 20 feet due to smog
best it's been all year, what a beautiful day
see neighbor lady sweeping her dead child into trash bin
again?!
she shrugs and says "china will go larger" and goes back into house
a sewer explodes, I narrowly dodge a flying manhole cover
get to train station
doors open, suffocated and smothered dead bodies pour out
oh this is the dead body train, I'll take the next one
living people train arrives
doors open, suffocated and smothered dead bodies pour out
trample over them because I'm late, dammit
driver announces "scheduled derailment in 10 seconds, please hold on"
train derails, me and some other guy in the back row survive
he waves to me with the one arm he has left and smiles
says "We will live in prosperity!"
finally get to the wilderness park where I work
take escalator up to office to clock in
plate at the top of escalator gives way, gears and torque would've eaten my left leg if I still had one
feed it my left hand instead as an offering
for China
get in car to drive a visitor and her family around tiger enclosure
remind them that one of them has to die here as per the rules of the park
daughter says it's her turn and jumps out, mom says "bull (bleep)" and jumps out after her
Tiger kills the mother but breaks its leg while trying to kill daughter due to calcium deficiency
I have to apologize to the daughter: "sorry, Tiger is broken today, come back tomorrow"
China will grow larger


16 comments block

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[ - ] con77 3 points 2.3 yearsJan 24, 2022 09:15:51 ago (+3/-0)

65 niggers shot by other niggers just in chicongo last week

[ - ] Broc_Liath 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 25, 2022 15:16:22 ago (+0/-0)

feed it my left hand instead as an offering

Oh fuck me, that has me laughing out loud.

[ - ] Deathstalker 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 24, 2022 07:40:34 ago (+1/-0)

At least it's not flooded with niggers and Jews.

China Russia and even north Korea has hypersonic missiles but US doesn't. Too much money going to Jew pet breeding program.

[ - ] deleted 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 24, 2022 08:06:20 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Not_a_redfugee 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 24, 2022 09:27:54 ago (+1/-0)

I betcha the US does. I betcha the US actually even has lasers that work just fine too.
I think the US has some fancy shit that they haven't let the press spill the beans about yet.

[ - ] Ironcrusader88 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 24, 2022 10:06:37 ago (+0/-0)

China is importing niggers in their southern provinces plus Jews were heavily involved in the communists movement as well as being funded by Jewish families like the rothschilds, sassoons, kadooris, and etc

[ - ] oldblo [op] 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 24, 2022 10:26:55 ago (+1/-0)

China and Russia are basically Jew owned and controlled. The only real difference from them and elsewhere is how disobedient and unruly the average local is.

[ - ] Ironcrusader88 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 24, 2022 11:36:03 ago (+0/-0)

Chinese aren’t unruly or disobedient just more or less realistic on race even in a communist country because Asians are heavily ethnocentric. The only difference is the communist party doesn’t give a shit about race which prevents China from becoming a full fledged ethnostate and making it into a empire. Russians are really the only ones that fall into this category because Whites as a race are more individualistic and at the same time Russians aren’t brainwashed to hate themselves like other Whites. The only difference is that Russia is still owned by commies just through mix of Jew oligarchs, Jew mafia, and commie intelligentsia. Russian government is also promoting immigration and integration of Muslims in their country and the Orthodox Church in Russia which is heavily subverted by communists is on the globalist agenda just as much as the Catholic Church and many Protestant denominations in the West are subverted by cultural Marxism and Zionism.

[ - ] jigganiggaboo 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 24, 2022 06:18:16 ago (+0/-0)

Sounds like a pretty good and productive day usually there are at least 3 people that die by getting sucked up into an escalator and about 4 to 5 dozen people killed in a flooded car tunnelway.

[ - ] thebearfromstartrack4 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 24, 2022 06:09:18 ago (+0/-0)

Is China really that bad? I hear stories. About babies usually. I see videos of people getting hit by cars. Is it really all that bad?

[ - ] oldblo [op] 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 24, 2022 10:20:49 ago (+1/-0)

Of course its not that bad. It still has its abominable aspects.
China tends to have a very low concern about human life. Be it survival or wellbeing. Unless of course its someone important or when China wants to flaunt how great it is. So common traits taken to a higher extreme there.
They value money and power far more than people.
This mentality inevitably leads to shoddy goods in an attempt to seek profit. (Typically from low quality materials.)
Shoddy goods cause numerous lethal events.
To be fair you should remember China is a big place. Anywhere big enough is likely going to have a steady stream of horrible events to display regardless of the common experience.
The same with any group big enough having its trouble makers and deviants. Just because you see a good number of them it isnt always fair to judge the whole by it.

[ - ] derpfroot 1 point 2.3 yearsJan 24, 2022 11:57:33 ago (+1/-0)

[ - ] beece 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 24, 2022 07:22:25 ago (+0/-0)

No, it's not.

[ - ] deleted 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 24, 2022 07:50:28 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ - ] AngryWhiteKeyboardWarrior 0 points 2.3 yearsJan 24, 2022 09:56:47 ago (+0/-0)

Well when you have a population of 1.5 billion people, that's a lot of potential WatchPeopleDie material.

[ - ] AugustineOfHippo2 -1 points 2.3 yearsJan 24, 2022 10:12:55 ago (+0/-1)

I have actually been to China, and I can tell you that there are some backwards areas that can be like that, but that is certainly not the norm. Lots of people here seem to think that china is backwards and full of idiots, and while they do have their faults, they are pretty industrious people and for the most part are not anywhere near as bad as the portrayal above.