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Does everyone in the Florida Keys really always walk around covered in sweat?

submitted by ghostofvoatspast to AskGoats 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:13:42 ago (+10/-2)     (AskGoats)



80 comments block

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[ - ] Steelerfish 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 19:27:34 ago (+1/-0)

Because they drank 2 cases of beer the night before……

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 18:38:22 ago (+1/-0)

when I was there my ass crack was always sweaty and drunk and stoned. I even met Jimmy Buffet once and asked him if he was a jew and he just walked away from me. How rude!

[ - ] Steelerfish 4 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 19:34:57 ago (+4/-0)

The locals in Key West fucking hate Buffett. He was/is an asshole. Wil come into a bar with his entourage and demand the bar to themselves drink a shitload, be needy assed divas, and not tip worth a shit. He thinks he owns key West and he is royalty that shoud be treated as such..

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 3 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 21:02:41 ago (+3/-0)

He's an uppity, contrary little prick.

[ - ] natehiggers 2 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 20:20:39 ago (+2/-0)

Didn't David Allen Coe get into a fistfight with Buffett at Sloppy Joe's.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 2 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 20:57:08 ago (+2/-0)

From what I know, it happened and Buffet quit hanging around in Key West because Coe was always there.

[ - ] ghostofvoatspast [op] 2 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 18:51:26 ago (+2/-0)

I actually believe this is a true story

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 19:08:25 ago (+1/-0)

It happened. The next day I cut my heel on the beach and had to cruise on back home.

[ - ] natehiggers 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 20:22:35 ago (+1/-0)

I've cut my heel on barnacles before, it fucking hurts awful.

[ - ] con77 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 18:11:47 ago (+1/-0)

Every person I met that worked in Key West was a rude asshole. They deal with drunks from all over the country 24/365.

[ - ] Lazybutler 2 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 17:19:38 ago (+2/-0)

There is something different about the keys. It's waaay whiter than you might think. Key West is it's own thing but upper and middle keys are my favorite place on the planet. I've yet to see Idaho.

[ - ] lord_nougat 0 points 3.3 yearsJan 1, 2022 08:49:22 ago (+0/-0)

Idaho has nice potatoes.

[ - ] lord_nougat 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 16:46:03 ago (+1/-0)

Yes. Due to all the METH!

[ - ] deleted 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 21:28:01 ago (+1/-0)

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[ - ] germ22 3 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 16:44:14 ago (+3/-0)

WHy does Florida get so much hate? I've been there a few times now in winter. The weather is amazing, the flora and fauna really nice. roads seems well maintained, greenery always well manicured. People very friendly and helpful.

[ - ] natehiggers 4 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 16:54:13 ago (+4/-0)

Because of all the Yankee assholes from NY, NJ, and Massachusetts who move down here and fuck it up for us locals. There are also a lot of shitheels from the midwest who move down to Florida and keep living as shitheels (Florida Man is usually actually from Indiana, Ohio, or Michigan.) Lot's of nosy, leftist kikes in Dade and Broward counties. Lot's of illiterate Haitian niggers in Dade county.

[ - ] con77 2 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 18:09:53 ago (+2/-0)

NAILED IT! The infamous Florida man is a transplant from up north that listened to a Jimmy Buffet CD and decided to flee his warrants down here! Seminole BTW. Grew up in Madeira Bch.

[ - ] Steelerfish 2 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 19:31:30 ago (+2/-0)

Ahh lovely Mad Beach….
It’s nice now the New Yorkers moved down, bought houses next to the fish houses, and proceeded to incessantly complain to the city commission about the smell of fish and the crazy assed fisherman living on the boats while in port.

So far the city hasn’t forced out the fish houses, but it is inevitable as Mad beach grows..

[ - ] natehiggers 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 20:23:52 ago (+1/-0)

Indian Shores will change way before Mad Beach or Redington.

[ - ] con77 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 20:52:54 ago (+1/-0)

They crammed condos onto every small parcel of land possible. I remember when you could drive down gulf blvd and see the gulf.

[ - ] natehiggers 2 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 20:17:21 ago (+2/-0)

I'm in Indian Rocks

[ - ] con77 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 20:51:27 ago (+1/-0)

were you around when all the little beach towns had their municipal police forces? What a bunch of Barney Fife assholes they were.

[ - ] natehiggers 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 21:04:58 ago (+1/-0)

Yes I was, Indian Rocks PD used to be huge assholes. My buddy got his ass beat by Mad Beach cops in the late 90's when he was 17.

[ - ] deleted 0 points 3.3 yearsJan 2, 2022 17:10:35 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ - ] deleted 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 21:27:06 ago (+1/-0)

deleted

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 0 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 19:10:59 ago (+1/-1)

You better watch that funeral escort service down there. Jeremy Dewitt may call your supervisor.

[ - ] natehiggers 0 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 20:25:36 ago (+1/-1)

Fun fact, Jeremy Dewitte is a Muslim convert. He converted to Islam to marry his Egyptian camel nigger wife.

[ - ] HonkyMcNiggerSpic 0 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 20:54:14 ago (+1/-1)

I never believed that claim. He is a mentally deranged jew, according to my radar. lol He's also a faggot and a pedo. He makes for great entertainment, though. He's fucked now and going to prison for a long time.

[ - ] ghostofvoatspast [op] -1 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 18:52:31 ago (+0/-1)

You said flora and fauna

[ - ] Battlefat 5 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 16:05:41 ago (+5/-0)

100% humidity

Everlasting swamp ass

[ - ] natehiggers 6 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:34:34 ago (+6/-0)*

The Florida Keys are beautiful place full of barely functional drunks, conmen, crimnals, corrupt cops and politicians, people who want to be left alone, and asshole faggots from NY/NJ/MA in the case of some parts of Key West.

[ - ] thebearfromstartrack4 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:34:04 ago (+1/-0)

I'm testing ya.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 4 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:22:24 ago (+4/-0)

Nope. I was there 10 years ago and it was actually cold enough that iguanas were freezing to death. That was in key largo, key west is a couple hours south so I can't speak to that. I don't go further south than islamorada. There be fags.

[ - ] natehiggers 4 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:27:55 ago (+4/-0)

I remember when that happened.

Also there aren't as many faggots in Key West as there used to be. Many of the faggots have moved on to Fire Island in NY and Provincetown in Massachusetts. Apparently they Key West faggots (who were all from up north) never really got along with the locals.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 4 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:34:59 ago (+4/-0)

It was right around this time of year. Actually now I think about it, it was five days less than 10 years ago. My brother and I were down there for reasons I won't get into. It's not something you forget about, and I'll leave it at that.

[ - ] lord_nougat 2 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 16:51:04 ago (+2/-0)

Was he transitioning to his true gender: ATTACK HELICOPTER?

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 20:54:15 ago (+1/-0)

He's too much of a pussy to be an attack anything. We were scattering ashes.

[ - ] lord_nougat 2 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 22:41:21 ago (+2/-0)

Oh.

Well shit. Sorry.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 0 points 3.3 yearsJan 1, 2022 01:46:28 ago (+0/-0)

Don't apologize. People die everyday, and some don't even live when they're alive. I'm not too concerned about the latter.

Anyway, happy New Year fucker. Make it a good one. I look forward to shit posting with you in 22.

[ - ] lord_nougat 1 point 3.3 yearsJan 1, 2022 01:54:03 ago (+1/-0)

Amen to that.

Happy new year!

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 0 points 3.3 yearsJan 1, 2022 02:10:51 ago (+0/-0)

🙋

[ - ] natehiggers 0 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:57:27 ago (+1/-1)

I have to go the Keys at least once a month because of the nature of job. Sometimes I end up down there 2 or 3 times a month.

[ - ] Steelerfish 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 19:13:24 ago (+1/-0)

I noticed that to when I was in KW in July… I hope they were so disgusted with Governor D that they indeed moved back to NY where they belong.
One of my clients has a charter boat in the middle keys as well as a construction business down there and has echoed that the actual locals can’t stand the whole politically hostile gay movement there.
The fags don’t like the salty locals because they are rough around the edges and the opposite of Woke.

[ - ] natehiggers 0 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 20:18:47 ago (+0/-0)

The salty locals in Key West hate the faggots and can occasionally be violent about it.

[ - ] natehiggers 4 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:21:11 ago (+5/-1)

They walk around perpetually drunk in my general experience. It's a beautiful place full of shitty people.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 5 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:23:23 ago (+5/-0)

That's Florida in general. A real sunny place filled with shady people.

[ - ] natehiggers 4 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:24:18 ago (+4/-0)

Hey, I live in Florida

[ - ] deleted 3 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:25:26 ago (+3/-0)

deleted

[ - ] natehiggers 3 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:58:33 ago (+3/-0)

Yeah, I believe u/con77 lives in the same county as I do.

[ - ] lord_nougat 3 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 16:47:55 ago (+3/-0)

You should hang out and discuss the higgers which you nate!

[ - ] QuasiVoat 0 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 20:12:01 ago (+1/-1)

.... do you also have to wipe the cheetos dust and potato chip crumbs off of your gut before typing? or is that just con77?

[ - ] natehiggers 0 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 20:13:52 ago (+0/-0)

I'm not con77, so I have no idea what the fuck you are talking about. I guess you guys aren't friendly with each other.

[ - ] QuasiVoat 0 points 3.3 yearsJan 1, 2022 17:22:07 ago (+0/-0)

No,no, don't get the wrong idea, I like @con77 just fine, I just always pictured him with a huge gut. He's a good sport.

[ - ] natehiggers 0 points 3.3 yearsJan 1, 2022 17:30:16 ago (+0/-0)

Okay, he's from my area here in Florida.

[ - ] Empire_of_the_Mind 3 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 16:46:59 ago (+3/-0)

In my entire life I've only done business with one company from Florida that wasn't shady as fuck.

[ - ] deleted 2 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:26:01 ago (+2/-0)

deleted

[ - ] natehiggers 2 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:29:18 ago (+3/-1)

I love it down here, I work in the marine industry so I'm always employed.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 3 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:31:35 ago (+3/-0)

I use to work on an 89' luxury sport fisher. I live in Florida too, it's God's country and I'd rather be nowhere else.

[ - ] natehiggers 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:35:14 ago (+1/-0)

Was it a Hatteras

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:38:06 ago (+1/-0)

Paul Mann

[ - ] natehiggers 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:40:40 ago (+1/-0)

Even better, I really hope Paul's health gets better. He truly is an artist when it comes to sports fishing boats.

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:42:00 ago (+1/-0)

If there's an equal, I haven't seen it. They make Hatteras look like a shitbox by comparison.

[ - ] natehiggers 0 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:46:16 ago (+0/-0)

I just went to his site, it looks like Paul retired over the summer but is keeping the yard open.

[ - ] Steelerfish 3 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 19:07:31 ago (+3/-0)

Same here.
My business was booming when the Chink plague basically shut everything down for a month or 2… none of the dealers here in the Tampa Bay Area can keep boats in stock. Good luck finding a new motor under 300 hp…
Everyone went out on their boats, it was nuts! I quit taking new clients because I can’t find good help. No one wants to work, or they are a fucking moron from up north escaping down here…

[ - ] natehiggers 0 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 19:13:04 ago (+0/-0)

I'm in the Tampa Bay Area

[ - ] Steelerfish 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 19:27:00 ago (+1/-0)

Nice. There are apparently several of us down in this area.

If you see a boat with a bunch of DeSantis flags mooning the Massholes and Canadians out swimming in the 65 degree water it may or may not have anything to do with me…

[ - ] natehiggers 0 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 19:31:52 ago (+0/-0)

I just about got in a fistfight with a Canadian last week.

[ - ] xmasskull 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 16:46:54 ago (+1/-0)

What does BOAT stand for?

[ - ] lord_nougat 2 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 16:49:24 ago (+2/-0)

Bust Out Another Thousand.

Duh! BOAT bucks!

[ - ] xmasskull 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 16:53:42 ago (+1/-0)

Yep,you know.

[ - ] lord_nougat 0 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 16:59:22 ago (+0/-0)

All too damned well!

[ - ] JudyStroyer 0 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 21:07:29 ago (+0/-0)*

Well yeah, but what is a boat?




Edit for "a boat is a hole in the water that you throw money into"

[ - ] Steelerfish 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 19:15:47 ago (+1/-0)

We also name them after woman because the 2 happiest days with them are the day you found it and the day you got rid of it. And while they are fun to ride they do nothing but need attention and cause grief.

[ - ] lord_nougat 0 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 16:48:26 ago (+0/-0)

Semper fi!

[ - ] PeckerwoodPerry 2 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 15:32:16 ago (+2/-0)

You can have it as long as you stay out of Florida.

[ - ] deleted 0 points 3.3 yearsJan 1, 2022 15:19:21 ago (+0/-0)

deleted

[ - ] Steelerfish 2 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 19:01:19 ago (+2/-0)

We call them New Yorkers and Massholes.

The whole south eastern part of the state- minus the keys- is a 3rd world country and we crackers don’t recognize it as part of FL…

The Middle keys are absolutely based and beautiful. I go to Big Pine and Summerland as much as I can. Only thing that sucks is you have to go through a f 3rd world cry to get there.

The spics in Homestead like to intentionally drive 15 mph to fuck with the gringos trying to avoid Miami and I95….

[ - ] Teefinyomouf -1 points 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 20:31:36 ago (+0/-1)

Inbred redneck cracker morons driving old GMC trucks throwing trash everywhere and spooky dark niggers that appear in your house like a ghost and then vanish with your kids.

[ - ] lord_nougat 1 point 3.3 yearsDec 31, 2021 16:46:42 ago (+1/-0)

Much like coastal los angeles!