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I remember as a child that I found castles, pottery, animals, cathedrals, nature, and paintings to be awesome (in the literal sense of the word).
The world was a beautiful place with filled with wonder.

Then as I grew older the ugly side of people twisted my perception of others. I saw early on that there is so much stuff that's hiding behind the masks of people's smiles, so I looked into fantasies (books, music, etc.) to find things which inspire.

But, these days nobody builds anything beautiful. And, I know this is by design. If you look into the history of Thomas Kinkade (the guy that made "cheesy" paintings that give you a good feeling) you'll find that "critics" were out tearing down his work because it wasn't "challenging" to the system. Well at this point there's nobody left who creates anything of beauty, and the system is destructive.

Artists who create beauty would be ultimately challenging this system. But, when everything is ugly it takes skill that has been lost to raise the soul. I know these skills are lost, but they still exist somewhere and there are people skilled enough to use the techniques.

So, where can you even locate beauty. It doesn't exist on the internet, I haven't seen it anywhere locally. Has it just dropped back into some hobbyists room and they just don't even want to expose it to the world?

I'm just so sick of looking at the world that's shit, but I don't have the skills or talent to make anything better and it annoys me.