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You got this. It's better nowadays than it used to be. You can chat with them online, text them if they have a phone. Facetime. Online gaming.

You're going to have to get interested in their lives though. That'll suck. If they like some retarded tv show or game you're going to have to suck it the fuck up and chew shit to be relevant.

Get them a room at your new house/apartment. Let them store their crap there. Get clothes so they don't have to pack back and forth each time. They're kids, you know how lazy the little bastards are. You're going to have to make it easy on them without spoiling them. Then expect crap from your ex IF YOU DO EVERYTHING RIGHT. Stupid bitches.

Fuck court mandated anything.

That sux man. Use your time wisely. Pray. Schedule. Work. Train. So when you are with them it's quality time.

Remember it's about the kids - not you.
You are felling low, because you had to say bye to the kids, but the kids are likely on a high because they got to spend time with you.

take a step back as well - you have been so focused and consumed by thus custody shit. I have advised lots of people about this shit - 90% of the stuff that you worry about, just doesn't fucking matter.

Court is like taking a picture, and dialling up the colour and contrast to 10000% - it's a reflection of reality, but also it isn't. So focus on silver lunings, downplay 'harms' in your mind, because court will have overhyped that shit.

Also..and this is VERY important. ONLY say good things about their mum to them, and go out of your way to di this at least once a day at the start. This is even more important if the ex is likely to denigrate you to the kids.

"oh wow, that's a really good drawing you did there billy, you must get that from your mum, she was always so good at drawing"

I would suggest also giving your ex a 'code name', in case the kids ever accidentally hear you bitching about her to a friend or new partner.

It's also normal to be in a funk after handover, but it will go.

just remember, no matter what happens...the sun shines out of your ex's arse and she farts rainbows

song for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7Lv0wAvCHM

If you get to see your kids at all, you are super lucky.

I'm 3 years down on a 5-year restraining order.

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaZKzpVau4rN3rhk3VKVI9sJqgpyxptsT

How are you suppose to be a father and discipline them when the state is watching and will always deem any of your actions abuse that are not praising the children 24/7.

I've been in your shoes. I now have custody of my kids. The pain is hard to deal with but here is what you do. I will avoid clichés because if you are hurting like this you are more than likely going to do everything in your power to put the kids first.

1. Document everything. Kids not bathed or fed? Document it. Late dropping them off or picking them up? Document it. The kids say something that sounds like they're being lied to at home? Document it. Any time the court order is bent or broken, document it. Every single time.

2. Do not fall for the ex when she tries to bait you into a fight. She will say things to you when she’s mad or tired and you cannot give in to it. Stay calm no matter what. Women get mean when they are losing a fight and will try to get the subject changed or get you to yell so they can focus on that. It puts them in the driver’s seat because they live in chaos. She might tell you things like “You’ll never be as good a dad to these kids as my new boyfriend. They already call him daddy, etc.”

3. Try to stay away from alcohol or God forbid drugs. Your heart will ache when you don’t see your kids but it will only deepen the depression. Working out helps more than you would think.

4. Keep girlfriends away from the kids unless it’s really getting serious. Talk to them about meeting her first before you spring it on them.

5. Try not to buy them guilt gifts. It creates problems that you will deal with later. Create memories instead. They will carry that with them for the rest of their lives. The toys will just end up in the garbage one day anyway.

6. Stay strong and reach out to people when/if you need to. PM me if needed and I can just be a good listener if you need to vent.

7. If you plan on trying for custody one day realize that you are playing the long game. This is one reason why documentation is so important.

8. Do not bad mouth the mother to your kids. No matter what they say she said about you just say that this is between adults and the children just need to be kids and understand their parents love them. One day they will be old enough if you want to have a conversation about it but they will remember all the years when you took the high road.

Reach out if you need it, brother. Stay strong, this is tough and will feel like it’s breaking you at times. I might add to this as needed since I just hurriedly typed this out.

He fell for the marriage meme from single wignats and post-wall "trad" roasties on the internet XD

Should have gone MGTOW

Plant drugs at her house. Problem solved.

That sucks, dude. I'm sorry you have to go through that and sorry kids have to go through it. I've been there, from the child's perspective.

Feels bad to get cucked by a bitch first, and then the system, eh? Waller in it fool. You couldn’t control that shit and now you’re paying for you poor choices and weakness. No worries, I did the same. You’ll make it.

Did you toss them over a fence?

Suck it up, buttercup.