My wife just told me that she wants a divorce. - Upgoat

My wife just told me that she wants a divorce.
submitted by heygeorge to TellUpgoat 2.8 yearsJul 11, 2021 09:45:32 ago (+24/-2) (TellUpgoat)

Actually, she said, "You can make your own sandwich! Now, give me the remote."

[ - ] TheViciousMrPim 14 points 2.8 yearsJul 11, 2021 11:05:43 ago (+14/-0)

He who controls the opening of jars controls...jars. Or something. Throw a spider at her.

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 6 points 2.8 yearsJul 11, 2021 11:12:02 ago (+6/-0)

one of the more useless advantages i have as a left hander is being able to tighten down the lid on a 2 litre coke bottle that hard no righty can open it.

upside is soft drink lasts longer in my house.

[ + ] v0atmage

[ - ] v0atmage 7 points 2.8 yearsJul 11, 2021 12:10:33 ago (+7/-0)

I'm lefty too and have been told I tighten lids and bottles too much. Is it because it's easier to turn clockwise with the left hand basically?

[ + ] i_scream_trucks

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 3 points 2.8 yearsJul 11, 2021 12:40:46 ago (+3/-0)

thats what i figure man. we have the extra twisting strength in our dominant hand, i can almost always get an extra half twist in a bottle lid after someone else closes it.

[ + ] Zyklonbeekeeper

[ - ] Zyklonbeekeeper 1 point 2.8 yearsJul 11, 2021 13:40:04 ago (+1/-0)

You permit the defilement of your domain with coke products?

[ + ] Cantaloupe

[ - ] Cantaloupe 0 points 2.8 yearsJul 11, 2021 12:23:45 ago (+0/-0)

That's really mean /jk

[ + ] i_scream_trucks

[ - ] i_scream_trucks 3 points 2.8 yearsJul 11, 2021 12:42:18 ago (+3/-0)

only when i did it knowingly and intentionally.

i did however get jokingly banned from closing soft drink bottles from my mates places for a while because his awesome diminutive wife couldnt get them open again.

not kidding if hes lurking here thats probably going to out me..

[ + ] Spaceman84

[ - ] Spaceman84 0 points 2.8 yearsJul 11, 2021 15:18:30 ago (+0/-0)

Unimpressed. I'm a righty and she can't open them after I crank them down with the normal amount of force.

[ + ] deleted

[ - ] deleted 3 points 2.8 yearsJul 11, 2021 11:36:13 ago (+3/-0)

deleted

[ + ] QuasiVoat

[ - ] QuasiVoat 2 points 2.8 yearsJul 11, 2021 11:38:06 ago (+2/-0)

lol

[ - ] VitaminSieg 6 points 2.8 yearsJul 11, 2021 15:07:46 ago (+6/-0)

Fuck her right in the pussy.

[ - ] NaturalSelectionistWorker 4 points 2.8 yearsJul 11, 2021 09:52:49 ago (+5/-1)