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Yesterday I posted a story that included my buddy Dave. Heres another one. Like I said Dave was an accomplished guitar player.

He had a fairly good looking girlfriend. A solid 7+. One of the stories he told me was she was bitching at him because he had just spent $1500 on a guitar. This was in about 1995 and they didnt live together so it was really none of her business.

To emphasize the point he picked up the offending guitar and held it in front of her. He told her " You see this? This guitar will get me a lot more girls than you will get me guitars.". He did not say what her response was other than she stopped bitching about his guitar.

But this is my story. His girlfriend insisted that she had a friend for me that was "really, really pretty". I questioned her but she insisted that said friend was pretty. I asked Dave and he said that hed never met her that his girl knew her from work.

So the following weekend I brush my 2ft long hair. Put on a shirt that showed off my muscular 18" biceps. And ride my motorcycle up to Clearwater where Dave, his girl, and her "really pretty friend' are at this girls apt.

I knock on the door and Daves girl (cant remember her name) lets me in. I walk in and meet the friend. I shit you not. The fucking bitch looked like Earnest Borgnine with a really bad blonde dye job.

Im not exaggerating. Put a cabbie hat on her and a cigar clenched between her teeth and she could have been driving the cab in Escape from New York! She asks if Id like a drink and I say just a coke thanks.

I kid you not. I drank the coke in like 2 minutes, set it on the counter, and walked out and got on my bike and split. i knew that I was leaving Dave high and dry but his bitch had straight up lied. If the girl had been even slightly doable I probably would have stuck around.

I had no interest in being there and didnt see any point in wasting my time. Ive always been like that. Look out for #1 right? i waited a few days and called Dave. This was in the time of landline phones so you could talk over each other and still hear.

Dave answers and is like "Bro. I'm still hearing about it!". I tell him sorry man but you know. he says he really had no idea. I believe him because he knows me and that I dont pussyfoot around.

His girlfriend grabs the phone out of his hand and barely gets started when I manage to interrupt her, "wait, wait, wait, wait! I have to be honest. I do occasionally think about other women when I touch myself but mostly its just you!'.

Shes speechless. She hands the phone to Dave and walks away. Hes astounded. Hes just listened to her bitch about me for 3 days and I shut her down in a heart beat! He asks me what I said to her and I just laugh and hang up!

Apparently she never told him what I said and i didnt just to fuck with him.