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I've gone sober six times and never made it 13 weeks. People try to tell me I'm obsessing over the 3 month line but I'm telling you something happens after 85 or so days that makes you comfortable with drinking again. Very dangerous time and I have been feeling it these past couple days to be honest. Probably the heat. This Florida heat is intense and you know it's gonna be here until November.

Alcohol seems like a faraway vacation instead of a recent everyday presence. It looks remote and not threatening. In that delusion I feel like I would control it this time. But if I have one, I will drink for a year straight. I know it from looking back at all the times I was sober and in control and started drinking 2 per night.

Yeah you can do 2 per night, but probably never skip a day (guaranteed), and then there is a big night somewhere. Then another big night. Then boom it's been months and you have a 10 per day habit, sometimes 15 or more. As soon as you realize you have to ramp down again you remember that first drink after 80 something days sober, it's very funny except a lot of people die.

Edit: Thanks for the Voat aa meeting I have a long way to go and am still pretty much a drunk faggot