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Man: Clearly shocked, "Doc, what on Earth are you saying? What can I do to live at least a little longer?"

Doc: "Well, do you eat greasy and fried food?"

Man: "Yes."

Doc: "You must stop!"

Man: "If it allows me to live longer, I'll do it!"

Doc: "Do you drink sodas and eat fast food?"

Man: "Yes."

Doc: "You must stop!"

Man: "If it allows me to live longer, okay."

Doc: "Do you stay up late?"

Man: "Yes."

Doc: "You must stop!"

Man: "If it allows me to live longer, then I shall."

Doc: "Do you have sex often?"

Man: "Yes."

Doc: "You must stop!"

Man: "If it allows me to live longer, then I’ll do that too."

Doc: "Do you smoke?"

Man: "Yes."

Doc: "You must stop!"

Man: "If it allows me to live longer, I will."

Doc: "Do you drink?"

Man: "Yes…"

Doc: "You must stop!"

Man: "OK doctor, but you didn’t tell me, if I do all the things you told me to do, how much longer will I live?"

Doc: "You will still live for a week... but it will seem like a century."