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Goddamn I love cars. Cars truly are the pinnacle of civilization. I’d say that the car is the ultimate embodiment of American freedom. Take a look at any American interstate: miles and miles of beautiful, smooth, gray asphalt. Lower your window and inhale the smell of American oil, rust and dust from the road. Hear the roar of artfully crafted American engines, gears and tires. To be able to drive wherever you want, whenever you want, that is true freedom. To be able to drive past the hoods to Wal-Mart and back to your property without getting jumped by niggers, that is true safety. I myself own two cars (a 2006 Ford Mustang and a 2014 Jeep Wrangler, which I just finished paying for), and I soon plan on buying a brand new Chevy Silverado (because the Jeep is getting too tight for my size). I take care of my cars like they’re my babies. I spend thousands of American dollars yearly on gas, oil, antirust, maintenance, driver’s license, license plates, tickets and insurance, and it’s worth every single penny. I take every occasion I can to drive, which is why I don’t mind traffic; in fact, I find being stuck in traffic to be great. I lower my window, turn on the radio, and take in the exhilaration of being among this many motor vehicles. Sometimes I’ll just sleep in one of my cars in the garage, although my wife scolds me when I do. The best memory I have (which I cherish even more than the births of my children) is when I did a road trip in my Mustang across the country back in ‘08. Speaking of my children, I’ve just watched all the Cars movies with them a week ago; that is proper American education, right there. In an ideal world, we would live our entire lives in cars, with houses large enough to have asphalt roads between the rooms, eating exclusively at drive-thrus and working from our car seats. Even better, we would simply all be cars! Frankly, I can’t understand why some people hate cars; to me, it’s just unthinkable!