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forgive my lack of editing, but for for either current parents or hopeful parents-to-be. ill post more of these later when i have the time for it:

1. you can always just leave an abusive or unfit partner. it's just that easy. no, your excuses are not valid nor are they worth the trouble of staying. just pull the plug, and have some respect for yourself and others.

2. the lack of a good mother leads to mommy issues. the lack of a good father leads to father issues. an unfit parent in either role is worse then none being there. stop pretending anything else is the case. If you find yourself down a spouse on the other side of things that is good for your kid, just be a single parent rather then letting in some piece of shit.

3. the mental health system and government is NOT a replacement for parenting. they deliberately work through employees with standards and things they are forced to do and not to do, and they only care so much as they can tick the boxes off and get paid for it (lest they be fired). They have a profit incentive and WILL enable you being a bad parent if they can make money off of it. they cannot, will not, or will be fired for passing along certain knowledge and life experience because its "improper" for them to do so. in fact, if you've read the terms and conditions fully you should realize they are "assistance" and not "replacement". You still in fact need to do your job as a parent.

4. children who are forced to raise themselves have a harder time of things, will resent you for abandoning them, and will probably arrive at strange answers on the way there.

5. conversely, parenting too closely and being controlling has the even worse effect. This worse effect is you wont know what the hell is going to happen to them actually, because your ability to plan, parent, and make the world do your bidding is always far more limited then you think. in fact, the child wont know how to do anything because you've done it for them. If they do figure it out, it will be on their own efforts and be either hard or impossible. This will have far more hurtful effects then you think.

6. if your child says that something seems like a danger and they don't like it, or they're worried because it seems dangerous, pay attention and at least judge if they're correct or not first before dismissing it out of hand. oftentimes, their instincts will be sharper then yours, no matter how smarter you think you are. the worst case scenario could result in you literally letting a danger into your home or life that could hurt both you and them.

7. avoid neglectful parenting in general at all costs. this is a category so broad that its impossible to list fully. if you're being selfish at the cost of your child, that won't work out well for you because some day you will get old, and the question of whether or not you have to deal with that alone in a nursing home, or surrounded by loving family is one you don't get to turn and remake decisions on. You’re not going to get a time machine so you can go back and fix your mistakes the first time around.

8. teach your child when it is appropriate, how to get a job and work in a workplace. these skills in particular will not be taught to them in adulthood by the world at large, and without them they will be unemployed and unemployable.

9. on that note, there is an entire list of skills, life experiences, information, and other such things that do not occur naturally. its very healthy to let a child be a child and develop naturally, but accept that sometimes things don't occur naturally, and have to be taught. if you don't, someone else will.