To speak is to perform. I have no desire to put on a performance. My voice is completely dead, quiet, unemotive, and has no affect at all. If I was the most attractive person in the world, it wouldn't matter. I cannot have a relationship with how I speak. On a 1 to 10 score my charisma in real life is negative. There is nothing there and no desire to become an actor in order to perform. Even if I wanted to, I have no acting ability whatsoever.
However you are imagining I act, how I really am is far, far worse. Theres nothing salvageable.
All I want is a relationship and I have no clue how to accomplish that with how I communicate.
Theres a massive disconnect with how I communicate in text and how I speak. In text, I'm interesting, engaging, curious, and high energy. I'm actually probably too overbearing in text, which can scare people off. I don't care about that though. If I find someone that is willing to engage me, I'm going to end up boldly asking them about anything and everything, I'm SUPER curious about people. But In real life all of that just evaporates and I become a retarded zombie. I feel nothing. I become a numb husk of nothing. I can carry a text conversation for hours with people barely saying 3 words between my paragraphs. But in real life I just zombify. Even If I force myself to say everything that comes to mind, firstly I think most of what I think of sounds cringe as fuck, but still it isn't even close to enough to even get carried in a conversation.
If I were to text someone on a dating site and then set up a date it would be fucking hilarious to see. They wouldn't recognize me at all because I'm so different in real life. I can't explain this strongly enough, the difference is *INSANE*
I don't think this is solvable to be honest. Thank you. White power.
Is it worth the $4K - $6K to have a cracked tooth removed and an implant put in? It's tooth #18. Is this something I can live with (carefully)?
My dentist today was supposed to do a root canal but first noticed a crack. He said if the crack went all the way to the bottom (and/or across) he'd recommend extraction. He dug out the nerves and filled in the gap but said my tooth is basically a goner (less than 50% chance of saving it). He did not charge me for the root canal and build up.
The extraction and implant would be done by someone else so it's not like he's recommending it to make a boat payment.
Edit: Another dentist would have to crown it if I didn't go for the extraction. It's not crowned at the moment but does have the filler in it.
After many people in my family died, and I had to witness my own wife die, I had the grand idea of suicide by COVID vax. It didn't even work. I took the full dose and everything, and its been years. Fucking nothin. I want a refund
