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It's pretty sad really. I work a physical job and I've been working on my car. Did any of that break my back? No. What broke my bad was laying on a pillow weird. It's like properly fucked up. I did fine at work yesterday. The real issue is sleeping. Every position feels like I'm properly fucking it up further. I know the spine is no joke. Once I get into a position that is semi comfortable it's impossible to get out of without it feeling like I'm ripping my spine in two which means once I'm in bed I'm basically stuck and have to make multiple attempts trying to figure out how to transition out. If this persists one of these days I'm just going to ignore the pain, which I could do, and end up paralyzing myself. My assumption is things hurt for a reason, so I'm kind of letting the pain win hoping it gets better. But if I get sick of this shit I'm going to stop doing that.

I don't have it uploaded yet but people can hang out while I get it started. I know moviegoats exists, but sometimes I want to watch what I want to watch, so I'm going to be doing movies every now and again.

https://cytube.gvid.tv/r/voatgoats

Why do I think that? Because washing your hands while wearing a hoodie if it has decently long sleeves is annoying, and I have to admit while I'm alone in a public restroom in my slightly over sized hoodie I feel the temptation to just walk out. Now I do wash my hands because I'm a good person but I know sure as hell someone is giving into the temptation. There are people who don't even wash their hands when wearing a short sleeve shirt! The bastards. There are people who don't even return a shopping cart when everyone can see them not return it. So what do you think happens when someone realizes, oh shit, I'm going to be walking around with wet cuffs? They walk out.

In fact you can have some fun with people. If you see someone in a hoodie walk out of a bathroom point out that their cuffs aren't wet. See how long it takes for them to realize they've been found out.

This nigger faggot will not leave me alone. That's all I want, and for him to do his job. He's one of those morons that's all about "respect". We've gotta show respect for each other man. That's how I be. Except what that really means is he's sensitive as fuck and rude as fuck to other people. I've never met a single person obsessed with respect that actually knows how to respect other people. What am I about? Work. Respect is a garnish. We work, and hopefully there is a small amount of respect there. It doesn't need to be an obsession.

So if I so much as say hi to him not enthusiastically enough he will get in someone's face over it. Like we've had full on shouting matches over it at work where the race card has been pulled. Since then I've paid attention how every one says hi to everyone. It's varied. Do I get in someone's face if they barilly say hi to me. No. If I did I would be immediately fired because that's ridiculous. But it's different standards for people with different skin colors.

Well that's a bit in the past but it sets the context for I'm dealing with now. This nigger will not work. I'm doing literally everything. He's trying to put me in the position where I have to approach him as someone that's already had the race card pulled on and say get to work boy. Every second he's trying to make things difficult and see where the edge is where he can stir up a conflict. So I'm in a rough spot. Either I do all the work, or I start literally treating him like a nigger openly at work and pull out a whip. If he thinks me not being super 100% exited to work with him is racism wait till I start bossing him around more than I already have and start micro-managing everything he does. It's like herding a fucking cat. I'm his "peer". I shouldn't have to do that. But the level above me is retarded as fuck. They see me as someone productive they can ask to do things and with him they aren't even going to bother. Often he's in a part of the building where it's too much work to even walk over there to encourage him to do something. Shits way to fast paced for anyone to think "hmm, maybe I should walk to the other side of this building to ask that guy to do this."

So what can I do? Just stop working? Sit back and relax like him? I'm white. I don't stop moving. I have to be trying to drive some kind of positive outcome every second. It's how I'm wired. I can't do anything different. And I'm already seen as a useful person. If I stand around it's weird. Besides, that sounds like hell if there are things to do.

This company needs to learn to fire people, because I have zero motivation to go into work. I'm practically out the door over a single nigger. Sounds extreme but if every day is turned into a conflict over tiny shit just so we can keep a guy on who treats work like a hangout why bother? Why be excited about it? Since covid we've completely lost that muscle memory for letting someone go over performance. I'm assuming I'm not at the only place where this is happening. So white people everywhere who actually care about their work are paying the nigger tax big time.

Does anyone know what size limit exists for a company to just hire who they actually want? The fact that that question even seems reasonable to ask means were are living in some bizarro communist america. I've gotta start something if only to work with people I want to work with (white people). We shouldn't be required for the sake of providing for ourselves to commingle with them if that isn't who we want to associate with. It's not right that our decency is taken advantage of via us caring about our jobs and sharing those jobs with people who can't inside companies that have basically accepted it.

I just want to pay zero nigger tax. Zero. None. That's precisely the amount I should pay. That's precisely the amount I will pay. I will figure out how to do it.