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Raise them in the country, with no radio, TV, internet, or reading material. I would teach them the wrong words for everyday items. For example: hand = foot, shoes = gloves, pencil = fork, window = door.

Also, substitute nonsense words: hair = zazfleem, face = mooplingnik, automobile = oogwowzap, etc. Do this with everyday items. When they are tweens, enroll them in a local public school just for giggles. Imagine the stories they will tell when they get home! It will be so much fun!