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"Had to" - distancing language.

Anyone who uses language that misrepresents a choice as being a compulsion is someone to avoid.

By saying things in this way, they are conveying the way they think, which is a lack of responsibility for their actions, and indicative of the npc mindset.

Focus on the way they say things more.

Eg. "We have to" rather than "we should".

"We can't" rather than "we shouldn't".

You can tell how someone thinks by how they phrase things.

Call them out and let others know that these are the kinds of people who would easily betray someone if they felt like their environment encouraged it.