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"I don't always command a ship, but when I do I drink Dos Equis. Stay thirsty my friends".

Random guy on the wharf been waiting his whole lift to get some ab-lib reporter on the scene screen time.

Mystery meat news reporter 'at a time like this You gotta ask yourself, is this real or is this fake?". Man, wtf!!.
'Reeee, it was just like a movie'.