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How does one fix crippling enmeshment issues? Biblically, where do I go to?

submitted by SmallGuyFromBrooklyn to AskUpgoat 6 monthsDec 11, 2024 10:19:52 ago (+11/-2)     (AskUpgoat)

My wife is hopelessly enmeshed to her family, to the point its hard to tell where my wife's personality ends and where her family's begins. Not to say the mom is a typical boomer, but she's reminiscent of the stereotypes when it comes to using people for money, time, resources, massive double standards. My wife never learned to setup any kind of proper boundaries(the mom did this by design).

Biblically I am curious, where does that leave me? On one hand I am married, but for all intents and purposes, it doesnt feel like it. Plenty of decisions have been overriden where I was baffled by the stupidity. And all because mommy said no. My wife is the type of person who needs to call her mom over the dumbest shit imaginable: cleaning dishes, cleaning pots and pans, how to interact with other people, speech policing, what to say to others, to name a few.

And my wife never stops and thinks what's best for us, never uses her own internal monologue. it's always mom says jump, and she asks how high. If i didnt know any better, i would think this person doesn't even have an internal voice. So biblically, what are my options?



32 comments block

Its mixed, the mom is incredibly nosey. But I would say that the mom isn't t he problem in this case. It's even been heavily hinted by other family members that my wife needs to become more independent. However, she has had decades of ingrained habits, so im not entirely too confident it can be changed.