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Burger King is for poor people anyway. What is the Burger King the king of? A pretty shitty excuse for a kingdom, if you ask me. It's basically a ghetto run by some creepy white slumlord who dresses up like he's in a really bad bus and truck tour of Camelot.

Now Mayor McCheese, there's a great statesman for you. Or should that be statesburger? Either way, there's no crime in McDonaldland except the Hamburglar, and he always gets caught and has a recidivism rate of 100%, so he always ends up in the hamburger-shaped jail.